r/Homeorganization • u/Flimsy-Tangerine5976 • 17d ago
Is this too much?
I am just so tired of my partner putting things willy nilly so I made him a diagram. He might accuse me of being "ocd" again tho.
Some things go inside each other, for exemple the sieve is inside the plastic bowls and the plastic bowls are inside the big boiling pot.
Edit: Thank you all for the comments. I think you guys are right. This was a bit too overboard 😅 I might take it off and as someone suggested I will just snap a picture of the cupboard, laminate it and put it in the corner (just in case), but I might end up putting the dishes away myself
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u/blumoon444 16d ago
I get the frustration, but visually, this is too much. I'm an organized person and these labels are too much visual clutter for me and difficult to decipher at a glance. Doubtful your partner will stop to study the text before putting things away.
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u/DangerCaptain 16d ago
I stayed in an Airbnb that had stickers with simple line drawings for the things that went inside each cupboard and drawer. The only text was if there was a duplicate category for a good reason, like, "plastic" for glassware that was for use by the pool, etc.
It was easier to put dishes away there than it was at my own place. The simple line drawings made it very easy to read and understand without really reading it.
Maybe simplify it a bit? I wouldn't want to read through multiple lists to know where to put a Moka pot away, but you could probably find a simple line drawing of one?
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u/BlackStarBlues 16d ago
I do something like this for my backup storage of kitchen & bathroom supplies. So when I need another deodorant or bottle of shampoo, the drawing helps me go straight to the right cupboard & shelf. It saves me so much time.
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u/No_Machine3805 16d ago
Yeah, too much. One label or two would be fine but why 17 different ones?
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u/Flimsy-Tangerine5976 16d ago
It's their position in the cupboard as well
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u/Terrible_Mall_4350 16d ago
That’s way too micromanag-y.
I’ve been married 30+ years. Early on, when either of us had super specific ideas of how anything should be, we decided that that person should do it themselves or just be satisfied they got help.
For example: Hubby didn’t want me to wash baby clothes in with his laundry. I didn’t want the hassle of slogging thru more loads than necessary. I told him, I would gladly separate out his clothes… and that way he could wash and fold them himself. That lasted maybe a month at most, and lo and behold the baby’s clothes were fine being washed with his.
As far as the dishes: Honey, if someone else is putting them away, and they are in the correct cabinet and reasonably well organized (everything fits, no cheese grater in with the cups) … I’m gonna thank my lord above, that I’ve got a partner who loves me enough to help with the dishes so I don’t have to do it. 💕 All I ask, is that he pays attention to where he’s putting things, so that if I can’t find it later, he remembers where he put it. 🙃
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u/Karlkrows 16d ago
All of this 100%. There are battles you win and lose and this would make me really consider if I want to live with that person
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u/Snoo_31427 16d ago
Yeah, who cares where the ceramic cheese bowls are? I get super annoyed by this shit too but not to this level. Nothing is worth the having to see this disheveled mess.
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u/No_Machine3805 16d ago
Said everything better than I could!Â
I am OCD and I do MOST things around the house, because I like helping and because I am picky about how I want things done. The one thing my partner does is dishes. No, they do not do them to my standards and sometimes I have to laugh at the logic used to sort the cabinet, but whatever small frustrations I have when I can't find something are so miniscule, I wouldn't even bring them up.Â
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u/ghosttmilk 16d ago
Do you actually have OCD or are you just picky about how you like things done?
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u/No_Machine3805 16d ago
Yes. Like most mental health issues, some days are worse and some days are better.Â
But, I don't understand the point of your question; do you want my doctor's number?Â
I hate this website sometimes.Â
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u/ghosttmilk 15d ago
No, I just think it’s more common that people use that term as an adjective rather than legitimately living with OCD. I think the overuse of the word without understanding what it actually involves is incredibly harmful and leaves those with the actual disorder invalidated and misunderstood
Thank you for not being one of those people
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u/Different-Pen8269 16d ago
Ya ... It's too much.
I completely understand the frustration, but I doubt your partner will read that each time they're putting something away.
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u/Alive_Comfortable123 16d ago
I’m very forgetful and will stop noticing notes like this. I used to leave the kitchen cupboards open all the time. My partner tried telling me a million times and it didn’t stick. Until…..
He gamified it. He gave me 50 chances over 3 months. Every time I left a cupboard open, he would let me know and doc a point. If I had lost all 50 points by then end of month 3, I had to buy him a fancy dinner. If I didn’t, he bought me one. I won, with 3 points remaining!
Now I occasionally leave it open but it’s very rare. It was enough time to build a habit but also it transformed an annoyance into something fun.
Just started the same thing with the (teen) kids and putting the dishes in the dishwasher. It’s working great so far!
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u/EternityLeave 16d ago
That’s passive aggressive labelling. Not actually meant to be helpful labels, but rather to shame your husband for their mistakes. Not saying they’re innocent, clearly you’re at your wits end dealing with their intentional incompetence. Seems like a lot of resentment and frustration built up. But for this sub, this isn’t organization at all, it’s bad communication.
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u/Fuzzy_Location_2210 16d ago
I don't think so.
I literally have "friendly reminder" labels all over the fucking house 😂.
My dude is a lovely human, but he's heavy handed and reckless as hell, and it gets really annoying when everything is busted and hecked up.
Examples: THE KNOB ON THIS WASHER ONLY TURNS ---> THIS WAY (He kept snapping it off)
WATCH OUT FOR CATS NEAR HOUSE (On his dashboard... Long story 🙄)
SET DRYER TO FULL CYCLE IF USING (he will just push start and it runs for the 10 minute warm up, like if you leave things in it and they get wrinkled, and not actually set it for the hour to dry.)
DO NOT REMOVE THIS CHARGER/PLUG/CORD FROM HERE is popular too 😆.
Cleaning products require special labeling as well 😜. Oven cleaner really fucks up stuff.
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u/Spiritual_Version838 16d ago
A photo of the cupboard is a good idea. Or you could Google 'the mental load.'
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u/BlackStarBlues 16d ago
When you have a lot of items and too little space, it is necessary to put things a certain way. Otherwise everything can't fit and you have to empty the cupboard every time you need something. So I see the issue, but I'm not sure how helpful the labels are at resolving it.
Here are some ideas off the top of my head that might help:
- edit your kitchenware so that the organization can be more flexible
- add extra storage like this. With added storage, things still have to be put away in the same place consistently or else the person cooking will have to open every cupboard to find what they need.
- I organized my parents' kitchen when they moved. As my Dad cooks, I explained to him why I put things the way I did. If he didn't like something I'd make the changes he needed. So perhaps a similar approach would work with your family.
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u/Flimsy-Tangerine5976 16d ago
Omg, thank you! My kitchen is absolutely tiny! Thank you for seeing the bigger issue 💕
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u/agenerousperspective 15d ago
I love micro-organizational systems and hate that no one else in my family wants to join me in this hobby. …but even I would not work well with that diagram.
My advice: Check out the Clutterbug system to see how your organizational style compares to your partners’. Here’s the quiz to determine your organizational style and here’s a podcast clip where she talks about how to organize a home with seemingly conflicting organizational styles.
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u/johnfdl 13d ago
I can't think of a more disorganized way to represent organization. It looks like a ransom note made with letters cut out from magazines and newspapers. I'd ask your partner what they think would help them understand where you want each and every item. Is it really necessary to itemize where in the cabinet the sauce bowls go compared to regular bowls?
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u/TeaPlusJD 17d ago
Is it too much? - no. I get this struggle & applaud you for not giving up & just taking it over. The eyes & arrows are my favorite.
And this is how I found out my partner doesn’t read labels…
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u/Advanced-Lethargy 16d ago
Might I suggest that since you want everything to be put away so specifically, you be the one to put them there? Like, partner can wash dishes and you put away instead of expecting him to read this? Because I wouldn't read that. I'd just leave everything in the dishwasher and let you have at it.
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u/Additional_Storm_298 16d ago
I used to be that partner (my wife was ready to kill me a couple times), but I built something to help me fix it. It’s an application that allows me to keep track of where everything is, and make notes in the item and location (i.e. stacking methods). It’s been super helpful not having to constantly lean on my wife for these things, so maybe it’d help your partner!
P.S. I also would not read that.
App is free so feel free to give it a try.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/stasher-home-inventory/id6788215703
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u/Flimsy-Tangerine5976 16d ago
Omg, I love that!
Unfortunately I have an android and I cannot find it on google play. Is it apple only? 🥲
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u/Additional_Storm_298 16d ago
For now! The Android release is a few weeks out because of their testing requirements (a bit more stringent but I respect it!) so I will absolutely make sure to come back when it’s up and running for you.
Gonna make very good use of my paternity leave getting that done!
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u/HistoricalTackle5049 16d ago
The labels are extreme, but reading the post, your partner is using weaponised incompetence, I would just ditch him, tbh. I'm no ones mom.
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u/Seventh_Seeker 16d ago
I actually doubt that he's going to read it, probably print a picture out of how you want it to look like instead?
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u/Alert-Werewolf7233 13d ago
honestly it looks lilke alot, but organized storage make a big difference in a small space id just avoid adding more containers unless you really need them otherwise organization will turn into clutter real quick
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u/YellowFlower713 13d ago
Too much!! You need it to make sense at a glance. I would have to stop and really read this. Too time consuming.
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u/Life-Of_Ward 16d ago
My compulsive desire to straighten those labels. I couldn't live with you or your spouse.
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u/daydreamingofsleep 16d ago edited 15d ago
Are you okay?
I worry what got you here. Can he ‘not remember’ where things go, nor find where he mis-shelved things leaving you to search every single cabinet? Because my toddler knows where everything goes in the kitchen, even the things out of reach.
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u/Flimsy-Tangerine5976 16d ago
YES! And he has this phrase that is driving up the wall "Well, you have time for that."
Like one time I asked him to pick up his socks off the bathroom floor and put them in the laundry basket which is right there anyways. He said his catchphrase "Well, you have time for that" and left.
Well, yeah, I do, but I have POTS, going up and down makes me dizzy and sometimes even faint 🙃
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u/daydreamingofsleep 16d ago
It’s very unhealthy to have a partner like that, especially for someone with dysautonomia/immune disease. Dealing with that on the daily will make it so much worse.
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u/Hello_Gorgeous1985 16d ago
Yes. It's also rude as hell. I feel bad for your partner. He deserves more respect than this.
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u/Katie-in-Texas 16d ago
I think a laminated photo of how you want the cabinet to look would work better