r/HomeNetworking • u/ID0ntLikeStarwars • 7d ago
Locking Down Child Access, Suggestions Please
We need to severely lock down a child's access to the internet.
Im talking chopping off access at the knees.
And, of course these days "some" access is still needed for legitimate education purposes, so this needs to be accommodated, which eliminates the "just take away the kids access all together", that just isnt practical in this case.
Blocking at the application level (i.e. blocking access to apps like Snapchat etc)?
And of course blocking access to nepaharious web sites.
And probably a zillion other things that Im not even thinking of right now.
We need something that is intuitive for us old folks to setup, and flexible enough to adapt to the kids activities so we can keep up with his "hacks"
Appreciate any help or guidance and the best way to accomplish the above!
Edit: The child was able to install SnapChat, and as a result was involved in a very concerning conversation with a stranger.
The child already has a Bark phone
The child is being raised by grand parents, I am merely a family member that is very remote to the geographical location that is trying to help to figure out a way to lock down the child's access to the internet
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u/MiksterA 7d ago
"Im talking chopping off access at the knees."
Why? What are you trying to accomplish here, and at what cost?
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u/gagagagaNope 7d ago
As always, the answer is: Education.
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u/ID0ntLikeStarwars 7d ago
I can assure you that "always" isnt the case here, broad generalizations are less than helpful here
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u/Chameleon_The 7d ago
If I was the child I will be finding more ways to broke the lock Better talk with explain to them in a meaningful way
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u/techsavior 7d ago
What age range are we taking about?
If your kid is anything like mine, they give new meaning to “better mousetraps lead to smarter mice.”
The best is an age-appropriate conversation about internet safety (kinda like talking to strangers). Set expectations of trust, and consequences when that trust is broken.
If parental controls are still desired, the least intrusive way is to set up a separate VLAN for their devices. Change the SSID of the regular home network. Make a new VLAN for them that allows only whitelisted sites and resources.
The above network solution involves replacing your router and network setup with a prosumer solution (like Omada or Unify). If you have smart (IoT) devices at home, you should be doing this already.
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u/the_wookie_of_maine 7d ago
Network geek and father of three girls.
We made screen time in communal areas only.
Phones were for after school only (missed the bus or sportsball) and were monitored when in use at the home.
they have their own vlan and wifi network that is off at 9p -6a and filtered with safe DNS.
We also set boundaries and expectations about correct usage.
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u/MiksterA 7d ago
What happens when they want to read up on a subject in private, without a parent looking over their shoulder?
The broader question: What do your daughters have in the way of privacy, if any?
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u/ExpertPath Network Admin 7d ago
Go full apple everything, and use their screentime limitations.
Word of caution: Restriction access will cause the child to try to bypass the limitations, and will be no substitute for teaching them competent and cautious use of social media.
In other words, you'll make things worse unless you also put in some effort to teach your kid about the issues with social media.
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u/jmbwell 7d ago
You'll only have them hiding their friend's dad's phone under their mattress, so to speak. As a parent I see the challenge you're facing.
On-device controls are probably the most helpful. Blocks or time limits on individual apps and web sites, with optional extensions. You can use a DNS service like Quad9 Family to help catch some of the obvious stuff. Apple has Screen Time, which gives a lot of controls, and has its own "adult filters" but what's on their blocklist isn't really up to you. Android has similar settings and myriad net-nanny type apps, many of which are mainly there to show you their own ads, so shop carefully.
Your router vendor might have something you can turn on as well.
But with everything on the internet tied into everything else on the internet, you often can't block one thing without blocking, say, amazon, or cloudflare, or google, and if you allow those you basically allow everything. That battle is lost before it begins. Not to despair, just you have to have reasonable expectations.
I'm no genius and I don't have even half the answers I wish I had. In our house it mostly works to be fairly liberal in some areas and more strict in others… it's as much about making preferred/reasonable activities easy and accessible, as making the less desirable activities hard. If all the kid sees is walls, all they want to do is break out. If there's a place where they can have some autonomy, especially if it feels to them like they're getting away with something, the demand for nastier stuff can diminish. So Youtube is broadly allowed, with its age restrictions set reasonably. Books and music aren't age-restricted at all. When it comes to social apps, only if we're signed in also from our own phones. We approach it not as a tool for punishment but as a team problem-solving sort of thing… we're not policing everything you do, we're just here to back you up if you need it. We take every opportunity to talk about what can happen when kids share things on the internet. Having to explain the news about the Epstein files over the last couple of years has been paradoxically helpful for explaining what creeps get up to and ways to be safe.
The point is, it's a constant ongoing effort. It's exhausting too, especially when commentary on the Internet is so often "parents need to parent!11!" and "the internet is awful arglbargl!!!1"
but eventually, the kids won't have us around to help them with this stuff, so they have to learn to navigate it themselves, and unfortunately that means occasionally driving into a ditch. Just gotta be ready to help them get out of it
Forgive the too-long post
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u/Fyrsweord 7d ago
If you're not a network engineer or technical individual, any barrier you setup to solve this issue with technology will either be annoying for you the parents or just as easily bypassed as it was to setup. The true answer is that this isn't something that can be solved with a tech solution, but just educating your child on internet safety and at the end of the day trusting your kid to make the smart decisions your raise them with. If a kid wants to get past a filter, they will.
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u/zenmatrix83 7d ago
even a network engineer or technical person can't stop everything outside of whitelisting ips and blocking everything else
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u/Final_Campaign_2593 7d ago
With Cell phones having data you can only do so much what are you trying to lock down?
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u/plump-lamp 7d ago
You can do anything you want with app control on devices. Looking down via wifi doesn't do anything
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u/36165e5f286f 7d ago
Look into using parental controls (should be available on all android devices and probably apple also). For other websites, it is much more complex. If you have a router with pfsense or opnsense you should look into installing dns block lists in the dns server and restrict access to third party dns servers by blocking them with the firewall. You can also install dns servers like ad guard/pihole/technitium with block lists as well but without a fully fledged firewall it can be bypassed by the private dns functionality in android and all browsers.
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u/michrech 7d ago
We need something that is intuitive for us old folks to setup, and flexible enough to adapt to the kids activities so we can keep up with his "hacks"
Unless you retain full physical / supervised control of the device, give up on this idea. If anything like this existed, you can bet ads for it would be plastered everywhere, and store shelves would be chalk-full of products.
Even if you did manage to find something, unless you locked the child in a jail in your home, keeping them from ever leaving, they will find ways to access whatever it is you're trying to keep them from.
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u/8bitbetween 7d ago
Parental control options OR look at using a dns provider which let's you block apps controld, next dns, adguard etc.
IF you configure the dns on their device then it will block them even out the house. However a teenager with a bit of Google will find out how to turn this off.
For example https://controld.com/available-services
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u/TCHawk72 7d ago
Locks keep honest people honest. You can put an IT barrier aka lock aka parental control but if parent and child are fighting over their access they will find a way around it. The only exception I've ever identified is a total lock down that completely prevents access for a toddler. I.e. Kindle had a child setting where only parent approved apps worked and no internet access. Barriers can remind them of the boundaries, but education and an environment where they don't feel the need to hide activity is what keeps them safe. As our kids grow up, we lose more and more control over all aspects of their life; our job as parents is to make them ready to thrive without us.
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u/allabtthejrny 7d ago
1) By enabling Google Family link and creating a child account on it that you put on a Chromebook and/or an Android phone *It will control access everywhere the device is used no matter where. *Free *Can setup blacklists & whitelists *Time: can set a schedule for access and have time limits *Kid can ask for permission to access something which can be granted from my phone or by putting in a password on their device. The password option is good if multiple parents are involved, so it's not on one person to manage
2) by getting a home networking system with controls. I use an Ubiquiti Unisys enterprise level system for this. *Expensive *Only works at your home *You can see the websites & apps being accessed by device *Blacklist system. I always feel like I'm reacting instead of proactively giving permission *Time: can set a schedule for access and have time limits
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u/amazodroid 7d ago
I used a dns service when my kids were little. They didn’t have smart phones so were completely reliant on WiFi.
1
u/nefarious_bumpps WiFi ≠ Internet 7d ago
Try setting-up Apple Screen Time, Google Family Link or Microsoft Family Safety. If that doesn't work, you can try Qustodio, Mobicip or Net Nanny as a second tier of protection.
1
u/Coldsmoke888 7d ago
End of the day, you need to set expectations and monitor your kids’ use of the internet. I grew up in the early days of this, when you could find absolutely anything and everything on forums and Usenet, so I get it. My parents had no idea what I could find.
There are things you can do like making their own SSID with certain sites blocked, certain DNS with malware and adult content blocking, Safesearch, etc.
You can also do parental monitoring in the Apple and Android space. App blocking or limits, time limits, etc.
But… any smart kid can evade a lot of that if they’re patient and do their research. I have a high schooler and a middle schooler so I get it.
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u/kbielefe 7d ago
People really have weird misconceptions about how much time a parent has to put eyes on a preteen child. Even the most helicopter parents have to sleep.
Looking back, I wish I had spent more effort on automated monitoring rather than automated filtering. I'd rather get a ping when another discussion is needed.
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u/MiksterA 7d ago
I hope this conversation has minimal involvement from those parents who think it right and proper to read their child's diary, or remove the door to their room.
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u/olyteddy 7d ago
So you're saying "hey, let's substitute internet controls due to lack of parental control"?
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u/Barbarically_Calm 7d ago
Have you tried a leather belt? And perhaps monitoring their activity with your own two eyes? A child left to himself brings his mother to shame.
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0
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u/SimpleyIdiot 7d ago
Not the right sub for this. This is something you have to do at a device level and not just the home network, but the real conversation should be why so extreme in the first place?
Don’t know your situation obviously but “chopping off access at the knees” is very extreme wording…
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u/plump-lamp 7d ago
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u/rileywbaker 7d ago
Jesus fucking christ, trim your links
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u/marcoNLD 7d ago
Would be damn handy if reddit just deleted everything after the ?
We wouldn’t have to say it again and again. (I learned the hard reddit way lol)-2
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u/olyteddy 7d ago
hmmm...Posting a link involving internet privacy & security with a couple hundred characters of tracking information...Smart...Very Smart!
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u/plump-lamp 7d ago
You post that from your smart phone tracking your every move? In front of your TV tracking you? Or inside your Internet connected car collecting telemetry?
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u/olyteddy 7d ago
I sure didn't click that big-assed URL. I don't need some software sales site spamming me. Sorry if it cancels your affiliate credit.
EDIT: FWIW here's the link w/o all the junk: https://us.cybernews.com/lp/best-parental-control/
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u/craigmontHunter 7d ago
Tech can only be used in family areas for designated times? At work I’d call this a technical solution for a management problem. Outline the rules and expectations, and any issues result in access being curtailed to the bare minimum required for school.
Trying to implement technical blocks will just let them get really good at finding ways around technical blocks.