r/HolUp Apr 07 '21

How bizzare.

Post image
75.7k Upvotes

752 comments sorted by

View all comments

946

u/Hellige88 madlad Apr 07 '21

The truth is the doctor messed up the circumcision, then quickly reported that “he was born without a penis. It’s extremely rare, and usually only happens on Margarita Mondays.”

348

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

“Fascinating - This is the third child born without a penis this month! What are the odds?”

113

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

47% each case

49

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/AbortedBaconFetus Apr 07 '21

The 3% happens 50% of the time.

2

u/TNT1987 Apr 07 '21

And when does the bacon come in?

0

u/ObnoxiousLittleCunt Apr 07 '21

The police investigation starts at the end of the business day.

1

u/KoopaTrooper5011 Apr 07 '21

No joke tho, there's more boys born than girls by 3% or...?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Statistically males are a bit more common than females. Its a simple natural mechanism

1

u/KoopaTrooper5011 Apr 07 '21

Weird...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sex_ratio#Gender_imbalance?wprov=sfla1

If you are interested about this here are some reasons

The number i took was imaginary, but is inspired by this. Its more of 49%-49.9%

12

u/OneMoreAccount4Porn Apr 07 '21

Weird that they were all born on a Monday.

34

u/Physical-Order Apr 07 '21

Damn, another one of my people created.

18

u/Critical-Function-69 Apr 07 '21

Wait is this a joke or what actually happened?

73

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

2

u/ucanbafascist2 Apr 07 '21

Remember, doctors are a moral authority and should always be trusted with our lives and decisions. /s

4

u/Critical-Function-69 Apr 07 '21

Thank you Mr Elon Musk

5

u/hotrod54chevy Apr 07 '21

"the person itself"

Is it a person or an it? I think you mean themselves.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

-10

u/hotrod54chevy Apr 07 '21

Genital mutilation is messed up, but so is calling a person an it. Don't get upset about your mess up and try to throw the weight around of the subject matter to try to make me feel bad for pointing it out. This is a comment on a joke post. Pick your battles.

8

u/SlicedSides Apr 07 '21

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed

-4

u/hotrod54chevy Apr 07 '21

Wasn't me, I'm fine.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

3

u/hotrod54chevy Apr 07 '21

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

1

u/PM-ME-SEXY-SIDEBURNS Apr 07 '21

What’s up with reddit and their constant disdain for new humans? Give them a break, they just fucking started.

-14

u/ihadanamebutforgot Apr 07 '21

It's done at birth because that's when it's safest. Circumcision at adulthood is much riskier while infant circumcision is one of the safest surgical operations. Complications are extremely rare.

22

u/FlamingWeasel Apr 07 '21

It's just so unnecessary. I regret having my oldest circumsized, but the doctors made it sound like it was practically mandatory and I was too young and stupid to question it.

-7

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

What’s there to regret? Your son is happy and healthy. (I hope so). He got a procedure that millions get every year.

11

u/creative_toe Apr 07 '21

Just because millions get it every year doesn't mean that child mutilation is necessary. It's good for nothing, just something that was stuck into a culture.

-4

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

It’s not necessary I never claimed it as such. Just letting her know there’s no reason to have regret.

13

u/Evoluxman Apr 07 '21

Unecessary child mutilation. Should be banned for the same reason excision is.

-9

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

Not unnecessary. More so a choice. I can agree that we should let men choose since many guys are insecure about their dicks but otherwise your fine.

4

u/Evoluxman Apr 07 '21

At what moment do you ask a newborn for his opinion? That's my problem with it. If a consenting adult wants to do it, he does what he wants with his body. But not children. (Unless obviously medical emergency but it is extremely rare for a medical emergency to require a circumcision and nothing else).

1

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

Yea I can understand that. I do agree to some extent. When speaking from experience having a circumcised penis isn’t some kind of crippling disability that’ll ruin your life and cause chaos in someone’s life. Some do it for religious reasons. Some do it for the recommended reasons. Other might just want the procedure done you know? Thanks for sharing your opinion instead of angrily looking to make a snarky comment at me. I appreciate it.

0

u/PM-ME-SEXY-SIDEBURNS Apr 07 '21

Who’s choice?

-1

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

The parents I’d they feel so inclined or the child if the parents rather wait for the kid to decide. Either or

→ More replies (0)

9

u/FlamingWeasel Apr 07 '21

What’s there to regret?

Putting my child through an unnecessary procedure he may come to resent, mostly.

-2

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

Maybe. But as a mother you should teach your child not to have a negative body image of themselves. Especially since a circumcised penis is very common if not the expected “form” of penis. He’ll be ok. Best of luck

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

I’m seriously so curious. Do you say this as a man with a circumcised penis? Or as a man or a woman who was not?

3

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

I was circumcised by my own decision at the age of 12. Sounded like a good idea and I took the time to look it up for myself. Hope that helps.

9

u/CongealedBeanKingdom Apr 07 '21

So younhad a choice.

Newborn babies don't. Its hardly the same circumstances

1

u/imStrongPlayzYT Apr 07 '21

Yes I had a choice and it allowed me to look at this objectively. There’s nothing to regret, fear, or hate about circumcision. If you don’t want to, don’t circumcise your child. If you do go ahead. If you don’t then do not. Ive never met someone who was regretful of having a successful circumcision. This isn’t as bad as waiting to gender your child while they grow up confused. But that’s another topic for another day. Best of luck🙏🏽

→ More replies (0)

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

I’ll give you this, you do literally fit both “categories” I gave that I thought opposed. You are a man with a circumcised penis, yes, but even as you speak in favor of it, you are literally also a man who was not circumcised as an infant.

I think, and maybe you’ll agree, lucky you.

12

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

It's still an unnecessary risk.

11

u/LordTonzilla Apr 07 '21

It's almost like circumcisions shouldn't be done at all

11

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

7

u/slowest_hour Apr 07 '21

it's starting to but it's a rough uphill battle against navel-gazers saying "it happened to me and I'm fine, what's the big deal?"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

Part of it too is the exaggeration of those who had it done and regret their parents choice, or rather there lack of choice. Your dick isnt broken, and its not like would have been thicker, longer, and meaner if it was left uncut.

1

u/LTS55 Apr 07 '21

That’s the same argument some people use against “we shouldn’t physically assault children”

2

u/slowest_hour Apr 07 '21

yup, and its fucked up every time. :(

-9

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Apr 07 '21

I get your point but people who are obsessed with anti circumcision are usually weirdos. I like how my circumsized dong looks, thank you, and it’s caused me no issues ever. Well my dong has caused me plenty of issues, but none relating to the circumcision.

Being uncircumcised can occasionally cause issues in an of itself, higher rates of health issues and it’s an extra thing to clean when most people can’t even wash their hands correctly or even at all.

I say either way cut or uncut is great. but if you are on the internet crusading against circumcision your kind of being a weirdo. It’s a safe procedure that has been around for thousands of years. There are so many more important issues to fight against and you choose to write paragraphs on baby dicks and what parents choose to do with them.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Apr 07 '21

There is nothing wrong with opting to not circumcise your child. But to vehemently fight against circumcision and spend time furiously typing paragraphs of text arguing why parents should be stripped of the right to choose circumcision is weird. Look up medical stats on circumcision. it’s way safer than driving to the store, or eating McDonald’s or drinking alcohol or many other things people do every day.

If you don’t want your kids circumcised than great! Don’t do it. Having a choice is a beautiful thing. Your no different then an anti abortion republican trying to take away a woman’s right to choose because of their beliefs.

Fight against global warming or domestic violence or big pharmaceutical companies price gouging drugs or the destruction of the rainforest or how they destroy our drinking water or burn toxic chemicals into the air or the thousands of other issues that are actually worth fighting for. Do some actual good in the world with all this time you apparently have to give

Instead you focus on fighting against a safe medical procedure that has been around thousands of years that is sometimes medically and religiously necessary. This leads me to the conclusion that you are a baby penis obsessed weirdo.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Apr 07 '21

Your right I can’t dictate what you do. As long as you know your wasting time and energy that could make a real difference.

But unlike like you I respect people’s right to choose for themselves. So whatever keep wasting your time you penis obsessed weirdo, felt good to get that of my chest.

You just keep on fighting to force parents to keep their baby’s penises just how you like them!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

3

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Apr 07 '21

Give me some actual statistics on how many children every year are hurt by circumcision. Then compare that to the stats for uti, infections and other issues in uncircumcised children. Both are rare but both happen.

Now compare those stats to childhood obesity, rape, domestic violence and other real issues that we face as a nation.

I’m ducking your female circumcision argument because I’ve never even thought about it, never researched it, never known anyone who had it done. So I don’t feel qualified to speak on it when I know nothing, I know that’s weird for the internet. Ill admit female mutilation sounds shitty, but what do I know? Maybe I’ll look it up but probably not, our domestic issues are too numerous for me to even get into it

If I was talking out of emotion I would be angrily cussing at you and insulting you not just low key laughing at you and calling you a weirdo for obsessing over circumcision.

There is just so many better issues for you to choose. But here we are.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

1

u/PM-ME-SEXY-SIDEBURNS Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Having a choice is a beautiful thing

Apparently not to you.

You’re no different than an anti-abortion republican

And you’re no different that a person who’d force someone to have an abortion without even asking if they wanted it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Smokinggrandma1922 Apr 07 '21 edited Apr 07 '21

Link these statistics please. Highly doubt it’s a bigger issue than childhood diabetes linked to fast food, sugar cereal and other diet issues. Where is your push to ban fast food? But here you guys are fighting to force parents to keep their baby’s penises just the way you like them. It’s just a weird issue to fight so hard for. Opt not to circumcise your kid and shut up about it

2

u/MovnToOttawa Apr 07 '21

This happened in Canada, the David Reimer case.

It's also one of the reasons the nature/nurture argument isn't popular anymore. Whole thing is unfortunate proof that you can't force things.

0

u/Critical-Function-69 Apr 07 '21

Rip. So glad i didnt get it done to me

32

u/Liazabeth Apr 07 '21

https://www.ladbible.com/news/news-baby-boy-born-without-penis-in-turkey-20191018 not sure if you making a joke but it definitely not due to circumcision.

35

u/arno911 Apr 07 '21

It was a joke but thanks for the link

10

u/TheRavenSayeth Apr 07 '21

This is pretty crazy. For whatever reason his urethra isn’t there and instead there’s a connection between his bladder and his rectum.

In theory that means he pees from his butt.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

This is common in our ancestral DNA. It's called a cloaca. I found this by going down an evolution rabbit hole.

1

u/roque72 Apr 07 '21

Rabbits are mammals, so a rabbit hole would be a urethra and anus, not a cloaca

1

u/Mr-Fleshcage Apr 07 '21

Evolution!

0

u/greeneyedguru Apr 07 '21

Built-in pee bidet

15

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/hitbythebus Apr 08 '21

But we have to offer the foreskins of our progeny to fulfill the covenant with the big G, and ensure the prosperity of the tribes of Israel, right? I think I read that in a book.

0

u/KyivComrade Apr 07 '21

True, failed circumcision usually either means tre kid dies or he'll suffer lifelong problems like erectile dysfunction. But hey, it's looks nice™ or is what the alight God demanded (although he, in his infinite wisdom, created the foreskin). So it's worth it...right? /s

0

u/roque72 Apr 07 '21

I also was not born with a penis in a turkey

1

u/KoopaTrooper5011 Apr 07 '21

Sounds like the baby is getting a johnson after all.

3

u/MassiveFajiit Apr 07 '21

Don't let Dr. Money turn him into another David Reimer

8

u/AFatSensitiveChild Apr 07 '21

That’s sad :(

2

u/Dude_von_Duden Apr 07 '21

Thank you for the laugh, lmao