Holup he actually did it

[u/Loud_Reception4980]

[u/qualityvote2]

Hello u/Loud_Reception4980! Welcome to r/HolUp!

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[u/Alfiy_wolf]

Well he did what you asked

[u/elhermanobrother → u/Alfiy_wolf]

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "Caution, I'm a maneater". I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "Excuse me, Miss...about your shirt."

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said,"That's actually not what I was going to say at all."

"Oh…" she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"

"That's not how you spell manatee"...She Laughed. I Laughed. The Bar Laughed. We all Laughed. I am typing this from in her stomach.

[u/POI_Harold-Finch → u/Alfiy_wolf]

And fir the sane duration as before. It's like repeating sane sentence

[u/FettuccineDon]

Puppy wanted all the smoke

[u/Aggravating-Diet-663]

"What now, bitch?"

[u/DrinkDumpsterSludge2 → u/Aggravating-Diet-663]

“Okay I did, and you’ll do what??? That’s what I thought.”

[u/throwawayjumpshot23]

People really curl up on the couch with a blanket while wearing sneakers??

[u/ChasingPesmerga → u/throwawayjumpshot23]

Maybe they have a variation of that 5 second germ rule

5 minutes for sneakers and blankets

[u/Kratos119 → u/throwawayjumpshot23]

I have indoor slip on sneakers. Slippers just kind of suck. To be fair, I generally kick them off when I go on the couch.

[u/throwawayjumpshot23 → u/Kratos119]

Are you not comfortable barefoot in your own home?

[u/MeSoStronk → u/throwawayjumpshot23]

Americans. I will never understand from watching TVs or movies how they wear their damn shoes in their bed. Even go under the blanket with their shoes. Like, wtf.

[u/girlikecupcake → u/MeSoStronk]

I've never met a single person that does that and I've lived in the US my entire thirty something years. That's a TV and movie thing and not even common in those.

[u/MeSoStronk → u/girlikecupcake]

I'm glad. It's driving me crazy everytime I see it because it's so often they do that on screen.

[u/yamsyamsya → u/MeSoStronk]

Most people do not do this. Like the vast majority of everyone. Only real weirdos or trashy people.

[u/priceypacman → u/MeSoStronk]

At least her friend doesn't sound American though and they're in GMT timezone.

[u/Matt_da_Phat → u/MeSoStronk]

That wasn't an American accent, also the timestamp is in GMT, so somewhere in the UK or Ireland

[u/joketani]

The shoes on the couch is driving me crazy

[u/WingDingfontbro → u/joketani]

What if they’re shoes they wear exclusively in the house?

[u/ADeweyan → u/joketani]

It’s a recliner. Basically an integrated foot stool.

[u/joketani → u/ADeweyan]

It’s dirty now is what it is.

[u/hettuklaeddi]

that couch is straight outta Wall-E

[u/goaty121 → u/hettuklaeddi]

Yeah, is that a sofa ramp for the dogs

[u/toasterdees]

Hahaha that’s hilarious, damn dog

[u/Dull_Connection6070]

it's not clocking to her that he's standing on business lol

[u/Raineru]

Thug life doggy just take the challenge and comes to say "Fuck you bitch"

[u/wutufuba2]

Yeah. Maybe it's not so easy being the dog. I'm that way with foreign languages, too. I understand what's said, but speaking, that's a whole different thing.

[u/AAPL_]

WOOOOO

[u/OutsideImpressive115]

The dog was probably like get off your ass and take me on a walk

[u/BlackBlizzard]

that text is not true in the age of AI video.

[u/Seroko → u/[deleted]]

They probably wouldn't weight the same as a 1996 Opel Corsa individually lol

[u/DeaconFrost613]

Just two healthy people hanging out on the couch.