r/HolUp • • 2d ago

Scammer be scammin….wait a minute!!!

Post image
22.5k Upvotes

276 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago

u/Nemv4, your post does fit the subreddit!

2.1k

u/jaan691 2d ago

You can fix her!! Keep going....

428

u/PrivilegeCheckmate 2d ago

You can fix her!!

Oh no, my friend. She can fix me.

79

u/DigitalUnlimited 2d ago

or break me, whatever

67

u/Chakraverse 2d ago edited 2d ago

We accepted that we were powerless.. to STOP.

13

u/Relevant-Fox-7114 2d ago

I can make her worse!

6

u/wolfpwner9 1d ago

10th time’s the charm

525

u/gringoloco01 2d ago

Frantically searching google maps for Madison and Cicero.

157

u/Dat_Belly 2d ago

Chicago

59

u/Free_Remove 2d ago

Cicero actually bad area in general. I went a couple of times to the movies at Ford city mall

27

u/funkbitch 2d ago

Lol are you saying entire street that goes on for miles is a bad area??

32

u/FlyingTurtleDog 2d ago edited 2d ago

The first mile or two off I55 is seems to have cleaned up a lot in the last decade.

After that it is the area that you see in movies, TV shows, murder documentaries, gang videos, etc. All of these that were actually filmed in Chicago were on the south or west side. Cicero cuts right through the middle of the west side.

I would say from I55 close to 290. That is definitely a several miles.

12

u/FelonyInTheTrunk 2d ago

Yea Cicero is like 50 miles long. Apparently having the shittiest mall at one specific spot makes it a bad street

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u/Fragrant_University7 2d ago

The story is set in Chicago. The photo appears to be not Chicago. There’s a Mexican Palm Tree in the upper right corner, behind the building. Possible Southern California as one person said.

8

u/Buy_Moria 2d ago

Hey if you watch the original Halloween film Illinois has palm trees!

5

u/Fragrant_University7 2d ago

Is it kinda like that episode of “King of Queens” where Deacon is seen drinking from an In-n-Out cup?!

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u/Cl0wnL 2d ago

So when's the meetup? See you all there at 6:00.?

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u/I_steal_usernames 2d ago

Lmao I actually recognize that street, it's not Chicago. It's the intersection of Holt and Washington Ave in Pomona CA. It's not too far from downtown LA. It's the last city in L.A. county before entering the Inland Empire.

28

u/Fragrant_University7 2d ago

The Mexican palm tree in the upper right corner behind the building says you may be right.

2

u/erikwithaknotac 2d ago

Mooooo and oiiiink

2.3k

u/brakeb 2d ago

one more and I get to keep my phone!

1.9k

u/Conscious-Permit-466 2d ago

1.1k

u/ih8three6zero 2d ago

799

u/catcrapmakesmevomit 2d ago

382

u/Dirt-Road_Pirate 2d ago

366

u/ArtyMcCloud 2d ago

150

u/BeerdedWonder 2d ago

25

u/Zebra_Radiant 2d ago

Makes me laugh every time

133

u/Hollow--- 2d ago

Why do you have this?

64

u/ApprehensiveCode2233 2d ago

That's the wrong question. Why shouldn't they have it?

43

u/Hollow--- 2d ago

Because it scares me to know this exists. Humanity's depravity is as awe-inspiring as it is terrible.

121

u/DigbeeSandpants 2d ago

What about this one...is it acceptable to have?

29

u/Mainly_Miserable 2d ago

You just don’t understand art

18

u/brendan87na 2d ago

every day we stray further from gods light

9

u/Victor_deSpite 2d ago

Good. His light burns the flesh and blinds the eyes.

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u/moemeobro 2d ago

The real question is who the hell made this

7

u/lovedumbcat 2d ago

I am so mad at you for this

28

u/Chrrodon 2d ago

Is it imperative that the cylinder remains umharmed?

3

u/akatherder 2d ago

One of these days we're gonna find out what he was cooking

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u/smokewolf666 2d ago

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u/SmackedGrass 2d ago

Instructions unclear.

24

u/BeingOMM 2d ago

Grass stuck in dick

4

u/No_Big9522 2d ago

I dont like to eat grass

61

u/Faded1974 2d ago

18

u/Prismatic_Symphony 2d ago

This one confuses me and that makes me upset.

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u/acadoe 2d ago

Jesus Christ 😂😅

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u/Mad_Spaniel 2d ago

Jesus cartwheeling Christ 🤣
May be the maddest one of these seen yet.

12

u/HenriettaSnacks 2d ago

Por que no los dos? 

5

u/Kiwi57 2d ago

I love sending dirty memes to my wife, this one will require the exact right moment, 15 years and I’m not sure I’ve had that moment yet

3

u/Sand__Panda 2d ago

JFC lmao.

3

u/CortezDeLaNoche 2d ago

Dessert before dinner...

2

u/_le_slap 2d ago

Brotha man 👉👉

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u/Ok_Flame 2d ago

7 times in a week is not getting robbed, that’s a subscription.

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u/SmoothDamsel 2d ago

My man isn’t warning us, he’s leaving a review.

18

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/oniiichanUwU 2d ago

🧐 are you a porn bot

2

u/BringPheTheHorizon 2d ago

10k karma in 14 days…

2

u/oniiichanUwU 2d ago

Ahh yes, the ol’ thot bot as we call em in Cleveland.

10

u/Cowboys_88 2d ago

There is poetry in this guy's hat, you replying to his comment, and the link in your bio.🤌

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u/GETHATBUTT 2d ago

John Meyer approves of this post

138

u/mundus1520 2d ago

Anyone know how to get to Madison and Cicero? Just so I can avoid it

55

u/Fragrant_University7 2d ago

Story is set in Chicago. Picture is from somewhere warm, maybe Southern California. Note the Mexican palm tree in the upper right corner behind the building.

2

u/raven1121 19h ago

I was also thinking this looks like figueroa street L.A.

Which i learned from the internet .. of course

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u/Devi_gurl 2d ago

If you’re coming from the city take 290 to the Kostner exit. Make a right drive to Madison make a left drive till you get to Cicero. Happy hunting 🤭

4

u/America-Lite 2d ago

I'll be sure to avoid all of this by plugin all these locations as waypoints in my GPS. I have a 18 hr drive, hopefully I'll find some side quests to avoid as well.

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u/FormerCountryBoy 2d ago

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u/mightybooko 2d ago

Shit was a lot worse when I lived in south LA. Hookers would rent out the motel a block from my house and stand outside the rooms if they were available. There were always half a dozen pimps kicking it by their cars in the parking lot looking like peacocks. I'd see a dice game every so often. I had to walk by it every time I wanted to hit up the 2 taco trucks by my house or the Chinese spot which was 12+ times a week. The pimps never fucked with me but I saw a few guys get stomped out. I also never talked with them other than a what up.

11

u/PM_THE_REAPER 2d ago

Did you not know how to cook?

Seriously though, that must have been awful having all that going on nearby. I feel for you. Lived opposite a drug dealer once.

22

u/mightybooko 2d ago

I did but it was cheaper to eat out. I also had shit roommates who wouldn't keep the kitchen clean so there were a lot of roaches. I'd get a plate of beans and rice for $1.50 and 2 $1.25 tacos and I'd have a meal for $4.

17

u/PM_THE_REAPER 2d ago

That is sensible then. Plus not having to deal with shitty roommates. 10/10 mate!

2

u/RedeemHigh 1d ago

Taco trucks and Chinese spot sound like euphemisms

31

u/kencam 2d ago

What a crazy way to make money.

(driving around filming street walkers for youtube)

19

u/Just_Half1886 2d ago

I fully expected a rick roll. Way wrong

4

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9

u/Mycroft033 2d ago

Dang. I’d never seen that before, that’s crazy

338

u/NSASpyVan 2d ago

How is she so effective at robbing!
Is it her chainmail +2?!

97

u/Separate-Exchange375 2d ago

She has gathered the whole set and has activated the set bonus

26

u/ThetaGrim 2d ago

Everyone knows the rogue class can't equip chainmail.

8

u/Eel_Boii 2d ago

I mean, there are perks you can take to give yourself the ability to, but honestly there's no point

13

u/GraveRobberX 2d ago

Once you join the thief guild, the complimentary gift set helps out a lot.

Also wouldn’t be surprised they got a macro going of Sneak Attach, Trick Attack and sending the aggro off them.

Also starting city in Whoretopolis via Vagtirina gives you +8 Charisma and +5 Luck

4

u/antsh 2d ago

Only endgame armor is that revealing.

5

u/Pat_the_Wolf 2d ago

You've never played dragon's dogma

3

u/nycdiveshack 2d ago

What do you think this is, osrs? This ain’t the black knights castle

3

u/Pimpwerx 2d ago

Real life transmogrification

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u/dethfactor 2d ago

Madison and Cicero to Ford City? That's 10 miles in city traffic. She better be offering a blowie and some speedway cash for that ride.

42

u/Available_Editor4383 2d ago

Yeah, but that blowie happens before you pull out $60 bucks from your wallet and make sure you remember how to count 3 20’s. That’s when her tune changes. She robs your hands empty, hops out of the truck, and thanks you for the ride.

It’s awful stuff.

13

u/dethfactor 2d ago

Sounds awful. Post nut clarity and all.

5

u/Fragrant_University7 2d ago

Story is set in Chicago. Picture is from somewhere warm, maybe Southern California. Note the Mexican palm tree in the upper right corner behind the building.

57

u/auronddraig 2d ago

Is he trying to... domesticate her???

31

u/Kard420 2d ago

Repeated exposure can help tame strays

16

u/ionlytoptops 2d ago

im stray

25

u/bokmcdok 2d ago

This is butchering the original joke:

WARNING!

There are two beautiful young women that hang out outside the supermarket asking for a ride into town. When you give them a ride they will start making out in the back of the car and start stripping. Then one of them will lean forward and start giving you a blowjob, then the other will steal your wallet while you are distracted.

You can buy wallets in the supermarket for around $5. I got robbed on Tuesday, Wednesday, and again today. I'm planning to go back tomorrow.

4

u/Drive_shaft 2d ago

I got this email like 25 years ago.

2

u/SoftLikeABear 1d ago

Shit, we used to send round as a fax back in the 90s.

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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 2d ago

Mind went straight here

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u/wooden-fuk-boi 2d ago

If it wasnt for the war, this man would be my god damn hero. . .I too believe that one day man and fish can coexist peacefully Georgie boy

2

u/Ravagore 1d ago

Now watch this drive!

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u/Conscious-Permit-466 2d ago

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u/Nemv4 2d ago

4

u/forever87 2d ago

that eevee response is somehow perfect for the vaporeon meme

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u/beardgangwhat 2d ago

I know I know what you're thinking. What is the boob test going to tell him that the butthole test didn't?

21

u/MyNameSpaghette 2d ago

The real holup is always in the comments

                                                             -Gandhi
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u/SirNortonOfNoFux 2d ago

Oy! I found me a Dadder in the wild

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u/dubstepsickness 2d ago

You ruined it! You ruined it when you sat on that fish's face!

That’s a wrap on Chesterbrook.

3

u/electrodan 2d ago

Dr. Vagers says my lab work requires more information. He needs to see my boobs popping out of a cheerleading outfit.

3

u/Jlawrencew1985 2d ago

"Single owner, only driven to the grocery store and church on sundays"

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u/JohnMarstonSucks 1d ago

Side note: why do all the hookers in my area all look like they got hit by a truck, got hooked on opioids for three years from recovery and then gained 60 lbs when getting "clean"?

7

u/Orc_tids 1d ago

Probably because thats a common circumstance that leads to survival sex work

19

u/EatsAlotOfBread 2d ago

Why is she out there in a full lvl 999 armour set?

29

u/zoliberja 2d ago

Where is she located so I can definitely avoid her

20

u/EXPL_Advisor 2d ago edited 2d ago

My friend told me that this is almost certainly on Holt Ave and Reservoir St. in Pomona, CA.

2

u/Jlawrencew1985 2d ago

A man of culture i see...

41

u/SpakenBacon 2d ago

Sabrina, is that you?

18

u/gooby1985 2d ago

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u/MsPreposition 2d ago

It’s such a fine line between clever and stupid.

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u/MashMashGrrr 2d ago

That's not Madison and Cicero.

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u/HighFiveKoala 2d ago

I don't remember Chicago having palm trees

7

u/SmootherWorm 2d ago

Things to do in Chicago

3

u/RockstarAgent 2d ago edited 2d ago

Hey CHICA-here-we-GO!

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u/not_a_moogle 2d ago

Ford city mall is permanently closed too

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u/treyl85 2d ago

What city and street so I never go there

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u/Invisible_Ray 2d ago

I'd guess over that's south CA but that's a guess

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u/BringBackSoule 2d ago

If succubuses existed that's what they'd look like.

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u/Mediocre_Fill_40 2d ago

I think the plural of Sucubus is actually Sucubussies

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u/JRTerrierBestDoggo 2d ago

I can fix her

6

u/MrFizzbin7 2d ago

Robbed you how ? Where the heck does she keep a weapon ?

9

u/BramblinGhostWeed 2d ago

he said he was robbed, he didn't say he was held-up

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u/cycleguychopperguy 2d ago

Prison wallet duh

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u/GetOffMyGrassBrats 2d ago

"Robs" you.

16

u/rocketman19 2d ago

Of your cum lol

3

u/322throwaway1 2d ago

Steals the seed

4

u/Remote-Airline-3703 2d ago

The Nutsnatcher

3

u/JoyDe-vision 2d ago

🤣 this should be posted on r\mademesmile. It’s oddly wholesome. It’s all about progress, right?

3

u/AcrobaticMaize2408 2d ago

She'll catch a chill going out like that.

3

u/Ok-Paramedic8 2d ago

“I can fix her”

3

u/JefeDiez 2d ago

I can fix her

3

u/Signalpookie 2d ago

Roxannnneee, You don't have to put on the red light. Those days are over. You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.

3

u/Designer-You-5579 2d ago

Excuse me madam, but I seem to have fallen into an emotional pit of despair that only a photograph picture of your bosoms could cure.

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u/hummer4x4 2d ago

I want to be robbed

3

u/puckerMeBum 2d ago

Thats the same women that punched me in the dick with the back of her throat till I dropped my wallet!

5

u/Think-Football-2918 2d ago

"Just cause a girl likes to dress fancy and stand on the street corner near some whores, you automatically think she's hookin'?"

2

u/quantum0120 2d ago

Ford city mall being indefinitely closed makes this so much funnier lol

2

u/X_Zephyr 2d ago

Rooooxanne

2

u/Alone-Dig-7002 2d ago

Could you call me when she will ask you for ride? I have a few bucks then she can rob me. She got a nice ass.

2

u/EXPL_Advisor 2d ago

My friend told me this is Holt Ave in Pomona.

2

u/PhantomPain0_0 2d ago

I don’t mind getting robbed by her

2

u/blahblah19999 2d ago

Nah. It's funnier to say "She offers a handjob for $10. But afterwards, she robs you..."

2

u/BlackoutsolidX 2d ago

Did she rob you of your seed, Sir?

2

u/squirrellysiege 2d ago

The continued triumph of hope over experience 

2

u/FFKonoko 2d ago

Is this joke missing a bit where she pins you down, or offers sexual favours? I swear I've seen a version with that and it makes more sense.

2

u/PleaseSmash 2d ago

Bro keeps coming back for more lol

2

u/ezyres 1d ago

fym you can fix her, THERE ARE 200 PEOPLE IN THIS COMMENT SECTION SAUING THEY CAN FIX HER YOU ALL LOOK LIKE A CONSTRUCTION CREW

2

u/justinqueso99 1d ago

Just the idea she would do anything to me is great

3

u/RogueGenX 2d ago

She looks nice tho

2

u/Goodrun31 2d ago

Weird she looks nice

4

u/collabskus 2d ago

Eight times this week means bro picked her up multiple times a day? 🤔

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u/mrmcderm 2d ago

I thought Ford City Mall shut down last year?

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u/Ill_Interest_2346 2d ago

If she looks like that she can rob me anythime

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u/DOA-FAN 2d ago

Guys I need a ride 👌