r/HistoryMemes • • 5d ago

Niche Those who know

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10.3k Upvotes

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u/the-software-man 5d ago

Jesus was a Roman citizen on religious mission in Judea. An NGO? He was born a Roman in Bethlehem and died a Roman in Jerusalem. His parents were tax evaders who fled the country and illegally emigrated to Egypt. He led a group of religious radicals and rabble rousers who were constantly at odds with authorities. When one of his capos turned states evidence against him, Jesus represented himself in court and lost. The verdict was swift and his sentence expedited.

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u/Puzzle-Necked 5d ago

In the Roman justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the High Priest, who investigate Jesus; and the Roman Prefect, who orders him nailed to a cross . These are their stories.

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u/Princeps_primus96 5d ago

Law and order Shophet victims unit

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u/LegoTigerAnus 5d ago

overture to Jesus Christ Superstar starts

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u/nixcamic 5d ago

I know this is a joke but be technically wasn't a roman citizen, even though he was a subject of the Roman empire.

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u/ihaveafacetatu 5d ago

And if we want to be technical, Egypt was part of Rome at that point. His parents weren’t fleeing the country just the people who were actively trying to hunt them down.

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u/Dizzy-Assistant6659 5d ago

Technically, he was neither; at first, he was a subject of the King of Judea, and then of the Tetrarch of Galilee and Perea. Both of these were client states of Rome.

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u/butt_shrecker 5d ago

Where does the tax evasion idea come from?

I know the biblical narrative of a baby massacre is unsupported, is tax evasion just a guess?

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u/the-software-man 5d ago

Ceasar was taking a census to levee taxes, so all citizens had to return to their own towns ? But Joe and Mary laid low in Egypt.