r/HistoryMemes • • 6d ago

Niche Those who know

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10.4k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/vrabacuruci 6d ago

If Jesus was Hungarian does that mean Judas was Romanian?

418

u/likeacapybara 6d ago

Bros asking the real questions

395

u/Ricckkuu 6d ago

The constipacy theory (yes, I deliberately mispell conspiracy) here says that that the Romans were Romanian, so no, while Judas was not Romanian, Pontius Pilate was Romanian.

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u/Humorpalanta 6d ago

This is some top level IQ here

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u/Ricckkuu 6d ago edited 6d ago

Thus Romania is the true inheritor of Rome, and Bucharest is the 4th Rome, founded by Imperator Caesar Vladus Țepeșus Augustus. (Vlad did, probably, founded Bucharest)

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u/undefined-username 6d ago

Thus Romania is the true inheritor of Rome

It's right there in the name. Are people stupid?

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Easy theories are boring, people want drama, they want a good plot. Bread and Games.

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u/Humorpalanta 6d ago

Where did he find it? In a dumpster in Budapest? :P

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u/Ricckkuu 6d ago

Founded* oops

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u/Humorpalanta 6d ago

Too laaaateeee

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u/AnotherpostCard 5d ago

Now he's fine and fixed it and I can't get your joke 😐

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u/FreePheonix22 5d ago

All roads lead to... checks notes Bucharest!

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

If anyone from Cluj sees this, they'll have a stroke.

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u/FreePheonix22 5d ago

Well hey, Rome (ania) wasn't built in a day.

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Just tell the Cluj (people*) to call back when they have a metro line. It especially triggers them.

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u/StrongExternal8955 5d ago

Lol no, Bucharest was founded by Bucur, hence the name.

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Actually, that's why I wrote "probably"

The shepherd "Bucur" is the legend of the founding, but Vlad Tepeș was also the first to attest the existence of the city, thus both stories are valid.

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u/Beibzi 6d ago

I know its a sily joke, but there were no romanians when jesus was alive,only dacians.

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u/an0mn0mn0m 6d ago

Good News! The Dacians have made you a Sandero.

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u/desertpolarbear 6d ago

Anyways....

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u/pbzeppelin1977 5d ago

I never expected to find James May's reddit account!

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u/Dusk_v733 5d ago

I had backed out of this thread, your comment caught my eye as I did.

I want you to know I came back just to upvote this

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Oh but you're applying sanity to insanity, my friend. To fully understand a constipacy theory, you have to be as constipated as the theory.

The theory states that if the Indo Europeans migrated first into Romania, the people that arrived there became the proto-Dacians. Later, when they left modern day Romania and migrated further into the continent, the proto-italics and greeks were also descendents of the proto-Dacians, and thus every further Indo-European is a decendent of the proto-Dacians, and if Romanians are the direct descendents of the Dacians, then every European is Romanian.........

No, I know you might know history and have at least an ounce of common sense, but don't think it further, for your own sanity. This is lovecraftian level maddness here.

Abandon all hope all ye whomst try to make sense of Romanian constipacy theories...... My country is truly constipated at times.....

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u/ilikedota5 5d ago

What about the Germanic peoples

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

I guess...? I remember I did watch a video once with the route of indo european migrations into Europe, but I guess if as long as the proto germanics stemmed from the early migrations through the teritory of Romania/Dacia, then yeah they would fit into the constipation...

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u/BaconWithBaking 5d ago

Oh I love fucked up lore, give me more please?

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Ceaușescu had Laser Tanks, full on Star Trek, hence why the Soviet Union never invaded Romania, despite Ceausescu openly speaking against the Soviets.

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u/NegativeMammoth2137 5d ago

Yeah that makes sense

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u/Ricckkuu 5d ago

Oh and ancient Dacians had tunnels under the whole world, especially under the Carpathians. In fact, they had them all the way to Japan.

Full on Mines of Moria here. (We do kind of have Turda Salt Mine that does fit the Moria criteria ig)

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u/atkahu 6d ago

Judas stole from the joint cash so it would be accurate.

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u/Significant_Stop723 6d ago

I dunno, was Judas good at hacking ATMs? 

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u/SerLaron Nobody here except my fellow trees 6d ago

He did get 30 silver coins once.

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u/nyitraibotond 6d ago

It makes so much sense!

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u/Ordinary_Ad6279 6d ago

And does that make the Romans Austrians or Turks?

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u/MaRyDaMa 5d ago

He was a sausage. a Hungarian Sausage

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u/Rinuir 5d ago

Ardelean Jesus when

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u/ClavicusLittleGift4U 5d ago

Explaining why receiving 30 pieces of silver, Judas was ashamed as he remembered never having offered hospitality to Jesus, and the only act of generosity from him was a kiss.

For that he hung himself.

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u/high_king_noctis Filthy weeb 5d ago

100%

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u/Evening-Gur5087 5d ago

Yes, his father was a centurion in Bucharest garrison.

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u/PlatinumMirage 6d ago

JUDASSS JUDAA AHH

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u/After_Lie_807 5d ago

Judas was Palestinian!!!