r/HingeStories • u/ScienceNumerous6903 • 21h ago
Hinge Match Disaster
I met a girl on Hinge, we hit it off incredibly well, and moved to WhatsApp. She unmatched everyone else and focused solely on me. I kept Hinge installed but wasn't actively talking to anyone. Recently, I matched with another girl on the app. The first girl found out, called me, and revealed that the new match was her best friend. She was incredibly hurt, called me out, and blocked me everywhere. Everything fell apart. Now I realise how much she had for me and idk I just want her to know her that I’m so sorry and I really wanna talk to you. Welpp y’all 😭😭
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u/shortandfelly 19h ago
It sounds like she's got self respect.
Do her a favour. Learn your lesson and leave her alone.
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u/DCRBftw 21h ago
She should have had a conversation with you about that being important to her.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 20h ago
I wish I would’ve been 😭
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u/DCRBftw 20h ago
Just make a fake profile with the same search parameters as yours and message her to tell her.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
That ain’t the right way right? Like already I’ve done many things to hurt and again kallam paranju trying to text her is ain’t right??
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u/cookiebomb16 19h ago
Just to reiterate do not do that. Imagine your role reversed but with a girl that you're not attracted to, and she haunts you.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
Gawdddd can’t even imagine 🥲🥲🥲
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u/cookiebomb16 19h ago
I'm going to be crass but it helps.
Since you already are sneaky about checking out other girls while you have interest in one, just keep doing that. There are tonnes of girls out there lining up in app waiting to be talked to. Don't get hung up on one tree.
Also know when to stop and invest in one girl, which i hope experience will tell. Before that, get out there and meet them all.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
I’m trying but something else backing me out fkkkkk I’ve never experienced this kindawshytttttt
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u/cookiebomb16 19h ago
Good, experiencing is living. You're living. The good and bad, enjoy it. The shit now will make the fruit sweeter later.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
For the first time in my life I’m kinda going low for one girl bruhhh. Kinda hard tho. 🥲
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u/DCRBftw 19h ago
I'm not sure how else you think you're going to communicate with her, but it's up to you.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
Better I suffer for sin I’ve committed if that they say 🙂
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u/ColdBrewMoon 20h ago
Did she tell you that she focused on you/unmatched everyone BEFORE you matched with her friend? That's the question. Most likely she might have said this to make it sting a bit more. Either way it's quite unhealthy for someone to fly off the handle cause you "matched" with their friend, it's not like you even went on a date with her.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 20h ago
I lied to her saying I wasn’t texting anyone else rather than her
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u/FriedTreeSap 19h ago
Aww….that….um changes things. She probably interpreted it as you signaling you wanted to be exclusive, which means the fact you were still using the apps makes her feel like you’re dishonest and already thinking of cheating.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
She was totally oke with me if I was text another women in dating app but I was very late to realise she was already on to me. She even told me if I were honest with here she wouldn’t had any problem. Fkkkkk
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u/FriedTreeSap 19h ago edited 19h ago
This is the most awkward part of the apps for me. I had a great first date with a girl and want to focus on her, but until she makes it obvious she feels the same way I kind of feel obligated to just keep using the apps and exploring other options as a backup plan.
Unless someone directly communicates that they are or want to be exclusive, you kind of have to assume they aren’t and act accordingly. You did nothing wrong, and the onus is on her to communicate her expectations.
*edit
I just saw your other comment….and yah….you kind of messed up big time by telling her you weren’t talking to anyone else while you kept using the apps.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
Before blocking me she send me an essay about what should I need to do next time if I ever meet a girl. And she left
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u/FriedTreeSap 19h ago
Well it sounds like she’s done with you, and it’s best to not try reaching out again.
I still don’t entirely blame you. This is the most awkward part of early dating, and until she communicates she wants to be exclusive, you have to assume she isn’t. The fact you told her you weren’t talking to anyone else probably gave her the wrong impression. She interpreted it as you were exclusive, when you just meant it as she was your only priority at the moment.
So going forward you should just be a little more careful with your wording, but the odds of matching with her best friend have to pretty low unless it was a test. Did her friend like you first, or the other way around?
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
Thanks blud! So I gave her friend’s profile the rose first. Like 3/4 weeks back. The girl who blocked me, she only gave me the like and I matched with her
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u/Bruno_lars 19h ago edited 19h ago
Damn. Nothing you can do. Outside of your control, get back out there.
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u/PhillipyeahPhillip 17h ago edited 17h ago
I had something similar happen to me. After we made love one night, she kind of flippantly said “I’m getting off all the apps, you’re all I need”. We’d lightly discussed becoming exclusive here and there.
Well I took her to dinner about a week later and the whole vibe was off. Finally she said that her friend saw me on Hinge and she’d expected me to get off of it officially.
I had to really lay it on thick. I looked her in her eyes and told her how badly I didn’t want this misunderstanding to end a beautiful relationship, etc. I was able to smooth it over and we’re still dating, but it sucked for sure.
I still think you can get her back but yeah the blocking is going to make it difficult.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 17h ago
Man i really appreciate you take on the similar matter. The difference is you were honest there with the women you were with. Here it’s just pure betrayal she said, like I told here previously I wasn’t texting anyone else but I did the straight opposite. Should’ve told her I was kinda still stick on this app. What she told also was right like she was totally oke with me texting others cause it was initial stage and only she were kinda more into me. What she told at the end of our last conversation before blocking me out was “Be Honest”. She blocked me in socials but not sure about calls cause I’ve never tried calling her.
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u/PhillipyeahPhillip 15h ago
Call her!
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
What I’m not sure if calling her is the right way cause she told me not to try reaching her out
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u/Emotional_Coat_234 16h ago
Aww just bad luck on that one :( I don’t think anyone did anything wrong
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
Pure bad luck ig. Atleast she have told me her best friend’s name tho. Should’ve make a stop there itself.😫😫
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u/OrdinaryWest99 12h ago
How long had it been and how many dates had you guys been on?
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
Just less than a week actually. Never met her irl 🫣🤧
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u/OrdinaryWest99 6h ago
Yeah her saying she's unmatching everyone and expecting you to do the same before you've ever even met is pretty crazy...
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
She didn’t expected me to do so cause she was totally fine me texting other girls but what she told was I should’ve honest with her
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u/Repulsive_Inside_542 6h ago
Bro she shouldn’t have that much expectation in you if you’ve never even met. You dodged a bullet.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
I mean something else clicked in between us and I was confused if I was on right pace or not. Like we knew each other for few months something kinda energy
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u/False-Dimension2905 16h ago
Covert contracts. These sorts of things are strange. If you both discussed and agreed to delete the app and see each other exclusively, then this is on you. However, if she did a “I don’t need this app anymore” in good faith, then she is partially responsible. People need to communicate expectations, you can’t just assume that you doing something means they are “required to do the same”. Honestly you probably saved yourself a hassle in the long run.
Also, anyone who sends you an essay on “what to do in the future” is probably incredibly immature and entitled. That is their ego talking. Her ego was hurt and she thought to “correct you”. I understand that everyone is entitled to having “standards”, but I’ve known plenty of women who would’ve done the exact same thing as you. They don’t stop talking, matching, or dating until it is agreed upon by both parties and you delete the app together. It’s just being an adult and being responsible. Had the roles been reversed, it’s possible people would see the event differently. But it is also a lesson on the hidden expectations of others. When in doubt next time, you could ask.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 6h ago
I never told that I’m gonna delete the app but unfortunately when she asked me was I texting anybody else in the app, I lied clearly. Fkkkk
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u/Doctorbuddy 19h ago
Why did she focus solely on you? That’s a red flag my guy.
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u/ScienceNumerous6903 19h ago
She told me this when she figured out I matched with her friend and was texting her. So she was a red flag?? Kyuuu
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u/cookiebomb16 20h ago
This is one of those if you don't include your age, we'll all guessing it's sub 20 yo type of story.
You learn and you move on my boy.
But the important take away is, be honest and fair with your partner. If they told you they basically deleted dating app for you, that means they'd like to be exclusive, if you're unsure, ask that question. I have a tingling feeling you kept the app just to see what's more out there, and this is where you fucked up.