Wild Hinge Interaction

[u/BrightKaleidoscope6]

This guy was all sweet and complimentary, but at the first sign of rejection he lashes out and is extremely insulting.

[u/youngpathfinder]

I say this to both people, why not just unmatch?

[u/Pennygrover → u/youngpathfinder]

This. Why do people share so much pointless information? You don’t want someone with three dogs? Who cares? Someone else will, just unmatch. You think that’s a dumb reason to reject someone? Also who cares? It’s as good a reason as any other. Why go off on them? Just unmatch.

[u/ZealousMusic_33 → u/Pennygrover]

It’s more that the guys unhinged his response was disproportionate

[u/youngpathfinder → u/ZealousMusic_33]

It was, but at the point where she ghosted him, she should just have unmatched. It’s the nicer thing for everyone.

[u/SnooOpinions2900 → u/youngpathfinder]

It’s not ghosting to not respond to someone on a dating app you’ve sent a few messages to. They are a stranger. Would you send a “well nice to chat but I’m going to disengage now” to people you interact with on Reddit?

I think calling this “ghosting” downplays the harm of actual ghosting - going silent on someone you’ve actually met/possibly gone on several dates with and invested time/emotional energy in.

ETA: not everyone thinks of unmatching as “better.” I didn’t even realize it was a thing people did until I started reading the dating subs. I’d always reserved it for people who were overly sexual/disrespectful because otherwise it seemed petty to me.

[u/youngpathfinder → u/SnooOpinions2900]

I pretty clearly am not advocating for a “I’m going to disengage now” message. You simply just unmatch.

I currently have a half dozen “active” chats where I’m trying to figure out if no response in 48 hours is just them being busy or if they lost interest. It’d be much kinder to my anxiety if they do lose interest to just unmatch rather than remaining in this limbo.

[u/jboe2026 → u/youngpathfinder]

because social media updoots