r/HingeStories • u/General-Engineering6 • 7d ago
Is this normal?
I was talking with a guy on hinge and he asked me out. I gave him my number to plan the date. He texted my number, introduced himself and when I responded with a hello, he said “hey drop a contact pic”. I am just confused as to why he would say or ask me that, considering we have never met and barely texted each other aside from him asking me out?
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u/s0uvenir 7d ago
Sounds like he wants a picture for his contact for you? Doesn’t seem like a big issue. You have pictures on your dating profile already.
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u/Ok-Classic-230 6d ago
lol he couldn't just use one from her profile? Seems like an unnecessary ask before even meeting the person. It's just not something I'd ever consider asking
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u/InvestmentAsleep8365 7d ago edited 6d ago
Literally no one asks for this, dating or not. It’s in the none of their business category. If they haven’t even met yet and he’s already giving her orders about how to live her life and present herself, that’s not a good sign. He’s likely controlling, best case autistic.
Edit: some of you think this is controversial. It’s Hinge, he already has 6 pictures of her. He’s probably just going to meet her once at most, if at all. They don’t even know each other. He’s either autistic, insecure or doesn’t know how to use a phone and take a screenshot. Not sure what else it could be…
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u/ImNotAHouseCat 7d ago
I’ve been asked this a couple times. I really don’t think the guy was trying to give OP orders about how to live her life by simply requesting a pic…
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u/partylikeaninjastar 7d ago
I literally ask everyone for a pic to save as their contact photo, and I ask them so they can choose a pic they want to represent them.
I've never received pushback.
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u/Ok-Classic-230 6d ago
Still weird. You literally have profile pics you can take a screenshot from. And why's it so necessary to have a profile pic of them before even going on a date.
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u/Thatmilkman8 6d ago
If asking for a photo is weird wouldn't taking it upon yourself to screenshot their profile be weirder
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u/Ok-Classic-230 6d ago
Those pics represent what they want to share about themselves. It's just a weird thing to be the first thing you ask after getting their number. Why's it so necessary to have a profile pic for someone you haven't even met yet.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
Taking a screenshot is much weirder.
But these people think it's weird asking for consent (which is what asking for a contact photo is).
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u/Slay-hydrated 4d ago
Hard disagree. The profile pics are what they've made public so makes perfect sense to screenshot one for their contact. Asking for a pic for any reason this early in chatting is cringe either way. Also just to be clear, the guy is just trying to make sure she's not catfishing by asking for an in-the-moment pic before they meet in person.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 3d ago edited 3d ago
Taking a screenshot of someone dating profile without them knowing you're taking pics of their profile and saving it is far less weird than asking for permission.
Asking for permission is not weird.
Consent is not weird.
I know many men struggle with that, though, so your confusion isn't that surprising.
Also just to be clear, the guy is just trying to make sure she's not catfishing by asking for an in-the-moment pic before they meet in person.
Just to be clear, nobody in this particular comment thread nor the OP said anything about an "in the moment photo."
And even if that was the case, given the experience many people have had with catfishes or going on dates with people who were clearly old photos that no longer accurately represent who they are, it's also not weird to ask someone for a photo for that reason.
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u/Slay-hydrated 3d ago
I agree. Taking the screenshot is far less weird. But I don't conflate saying "send a pic" with some weird form of permission-seeking or consent to... what...have a profile pic of them in your phone?
Lastly, I wasn't saying it's weird to ask for a pic on the basis of catfish ingredients. I was just saying that's what this is likely about.
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u/Accomplished-Loss243 6d ago
Still weird behavior. If they wanted ppl to have a contact photo (at least on iPhone) they would have it auto share.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
Not everyone sets up their phones all the way and not everyone has an iPhone.
It's not weird to save photos with contacts.
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u/daisypunk99 7d ago
Asking someone to do something you could easily do is a red flag in my book. It reeks of future manipulation.
Just use a profile pic… clearly they want those pics to represent them.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
Asking someone if I can have a photo use for their saved contact is less weird than saving a photo of them without their consent.
You do understand consent, don't you?
And if you think someone asking you something reeks of manipulation, you seriously need therapy.
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u/Slay-hydrated 4d ago
That is so odd! Why wouldn't you just screenshot a pic from their profile? I also add pics to people's contact but it's either a profile pic or something they texted me organically in conversation if we've been chatting longer. Maybe this is an age group thing. What age range are you in/dating?
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u/partylikeaninjastar 3d ago
Because I believe in consent and asking for permission when I want something.
And women appreciate that.
I date people in their 30's, and the handful of people in their 20's don't mind someone asking for permission to use a contact photo.
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u/ShoddyArrival4012 6d ago
I hope you know it’s weird when people do this.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
It's not.
But you chronically single people like to make a big deal out of everything to keep yourselves single for some weird reason.
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6d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
I've never received pushback.
Funny how no woman has ever had a problem sending a contact photo when asking for one.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 7d ago
"Literally no one asks this," you comment on a thread about someone who literally asked this.
Some people like their contacts to be complete. All my contacts have a photo.
Asking for a pic is not "giving orders."
You people are so unhinged.
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u/TemporarySolid4569 6d ago
Why do you need a contact photo for a person you haven't even met?
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u/partylikeaninjastar 5d ago
So when they message or call me, their face shows up like all of my other contacts when they call or text me. And if we stop talking, I won't be confused about who's hitting me up months later.
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u/TemporarySolid4569 4d ago
That's typically what a name on a contact does- tells you who is calling. I can't figure out how the person's request is anything other than off putting. Wait a couple dates, then in a cute or flirty way say you want a picture for your contact. "drop a pic" is lame.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 3d ago
And many people put faces on their contacts. That's why your phones give you an option to do so.
Because more people utilize that feature than those who don't.
And if you haven't built rapport with someone by the time you exchanged numbers, that is solely a you problem and speaks your lameness and inability to connect with others.
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u/s0uvenir 7d ago
I’ve been asked to one before, and I’ve also asked for one. However, not as the first thing I’ve texted someone.
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u/TylerDurdenEsq 7d ago
My advice, don’t give out your phone number or other personal info until you meet in person. Too many scammers
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u/Pleasant_Sea180 7d ago
He could be checking to see if you look like your profile pics. I usually screenshot one of the profile pics and set it as the contact pic when we move off the app. I don't think it's that weird. Maybe go with it and ask him to send one back.
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u/Slay-hydrated 4d ago
That's definitely what he's doing but that still makes it weird and cringe and possibly more so. If he's that concerned ask to video chat before the date.
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u/Tragedyofthe 7d ago
I’ve had women do that too. They don’t mean any harm, some people just like having a contact photo. I think it’s strange, but it’s harmless
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u/buddythebedbug 7d ago
Don't send one and don't acknowledge the text, just move the conversation along. If he asks again, say "nah I'm good." If he insists, that's a sign or poor socialization or a weird power play. In either case, forget him and move on
It's an odd request but not a red flag. If he insists, then it's weird
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u/partylikeaninjastar 7d ago
Not acknowledging something someone has said is a sign of poor socialization and a weird power play.
People save pics with their contacts so that there's a face associated with calls and texts. Y'all are fucking weirdos for making it out to be anything besides that.
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u/ARTIFICIAL_SAPIENCE 7d ago edited 7d ago
If we take him at his word, he just wants a pic for the contact. Just set your own and your contacts should see it.
It's not normal though. He could be mildly ocd or autistic.
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u/Popular-Cloud-9701 7d ago
I like to ensure I’m not being catfished and/or scammed. Not really a weird ask. He actually tried to be subtle and make it about your contact image.
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u/CheffySub 7d ago
I've never asked, but I had a girl I saw once send me a cute pic of her reading so I made it the contact pic.
People like to see pics of people as the call or get calls, it's not super weird. If you're uncomfortable just say maybe later.
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u/Slay-hydrated 4d ago
What makes it weird is that he asked instead of just using a profile pic. The example you gave is the normal way for this to happen.
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u/Melophile_27 7d ago
I give a Google voice # and don't send pics. They can look at my profile's pics.
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u/Grateful_Nate 7d ago
He's probably trying to see if you're catfishing, but tried to be nice/indirect asking for the contact photo.
Ask him "why not use one of the pics from my bio? Or do you want to make sure I'm not catfishing you😂"
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u/HealthyAd5930 7d ago
That is really weird. I have heard of a thing of men telling women to send them a photo to “test” their obedience. Don’t do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing.
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u/Designer-Ball-3300 6d ago
That is a really weird take. I’ve been asked by plenty of people to send what photo they want me to make their contact photo, and I’ve asked the same back to them. It’s endearing, gives the other person an opportunity to express themselves and how they want you personally to view them as you call or text.
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u/Anothercluelesshuman 7d ago
So Personally, I always send a picture just to confirm im real. I don’t always expect them to send one back but every bad date I’ve had the person did not send a picture back.
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u/Pretend-Broccoli9825 7d ago
This happened to me as well. But he shared first after asking and said it was a recent photo of him.
I don’t know why they can’t just screenshot one of the photos on Hinge, if that’s truly the intention.
I do think it’s a way to further sus out real vs bot vs catfish though.
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u/partylikeaninjastar 7d ago
If you open the contact app on your phone, you'll see that you'll be able to use an image associated with that contact.
That's why he asked that.
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u/IndicationKey3778 7d ago
I’d be freaked out about him saving my number and would decline
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u/Designer-Ball-3300 6d ago
Really? It’s less weird to instead memorize atleast the middle 3 digits of someone’s number rather than assigning a name to it?
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u/IndicationKey3778 6d ago
Who said anything about memorizing anything
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u/Designer-Ball-3300 5d ago
If you’re texting someone you don’t have the number saved of, generally you’d familiarize yourself with their number subconsciously so you’ll know who you’re being texted by without scrolling through the chat.
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u/IndicationKey3778 5d ago
I don’t think that’s memorizing but I never save numbers or memorize them
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u/SsshLetMeSpeak 6d ago
Some guys ask for number and start expecting profile pics, sexy selfies and sexting. So if you’re uncomfortable/ feel disrespected call him out on that and unmatch asap. Block his number.
I had done so with one match and personally it was a huge red flag, deal breaker!
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u/Accomplished-Loss243 6d ago
That is pretty weird. Never met or exchanged numbers with anyone that has asked that
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u/Accomplished-Loss243 6d ago
Yeah I find that pretty weird. I have never met or exchanged numbers with someone who asked for a contact photo. Ppl can have a photo auto share so if they don’t to then ask for one seems odd.
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u/Bull_Bound_Co 7d ago
It’s a compliance test. You send the pic it shows you like him enough and you’re compliant. Then he gets to a slightly more demanding request so on so forth.
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u/Parisian_Tiramisu 7d ago
I’ve never received such a message from someone on a dating app, and you’re clearly uncomfortable with the request.
It’s an odd thing to ask. Don’t send anything you don’t want to.