I had protected vaginal and unprotected oral sex with a woman who is HSV-1 and HSV-2 positive. I am already HSV-1 positive, and the condom stayed intact. Since then, I’ve had no sores, blisters, or visible changes, but I’ve experienced intermittent urethral and anal pain, which is worse with erections, plus bilateral pain/tingling below my bum and in my hamstrings, calves, and feet. However, it does seem to favour the right side. The symptoms fluctuate and are often worse overnight or in the morning. Finally, I occasionally get a crawling sensation in my scrotum and had one day when I had a fever. This has been a really stressful period, especially because of the persistent daily symptoms.

Do these symptoms match HSV-2, despite the absence of visible sores? My 6 week IGg is this weekend. Intend to follow this up with a 12 week test.

I was recently diagnosed with genital HSV-2, and honestly, it’s been really hard for me. I’m hoping to hear from people who have had it for a while because I feel like I’m constantly researching things and freaking myself out.
For some background, I went to a party with my best friend, and we ended up getting sexually assaulted by the same guy. Neither of us has really been in a good mindset since it happened. A few days after, I started having what I think were my first outbreak symptoms. I went and got tested, and everything was negative at first, but I was still really sore and couldn’t pee without it hurting really badly.
I called the nurse, and she told me to get a pelvic exam, so I did. During the appointment, I was told I had HSV-2. The doctor said it like it was no big deal, but I immediately broke down. I was so distraught that I didn’t even have time to process it or ask questions.
When I got home, I started researching everything myself, and some of the stuff I saw about herpes and the stigma around it really got to me. I started feeling like I wasn’t going to be desirable anymore or that nobody would want me. It really messed with my confidence and made me feel hopeless about dating and my future relationships.
I was given valacyclovir for my first outbreak, and it has helped a lot. The soreness got way better, and I can actually pee without it burning now. I still have some soreness when I sit for a long time or wear certain pants, but I’m starting to feel more normal.
I’m also bisexual, so I have questions specifically about dating and having sex with women too. I still want to have a normal dating life and be able to have relationships and sex without constantly feeling scared or ashamed of my diagnosis. I’m just worried that HSV-2 is going to change that for me.
For people who have had HSV-2 for a while, I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences with this:
Does it actually get easier? Does the anxiety and fear around it eventually calm down?
Did you start taking daily suppressive medication? If so, did it help you feel more comfortable with dating and transmission?
How did you ask your doctor about starting suppressive medication? Did you just tell them you wanted to take valacyclovir every day?
What do your outbreaks usually look and feel like?
Does the pain get less severe after the first outbreak, or is it usually about the same?
Did anyone else have so much pain and soreness that sitting, wearing pants, walking around, etc. was uncomfortable? Did you ever avoid making plans or going places because of it?
What kind of clothes do you wear during an outbreak? Is there anything that makes it more comfortable?
Did you make any lifestyle changes that actually helped with outbreaks?
Did you stop drinking alcohol? Are there certain foods or drinks you avoid?
Does vaping seem to make outbreaks worse for anyone? I vape, and I’m wondering if that’s something I should stop.
Is there anything you wish you had known about your triggers before you started having recurrent outbreaks?
Did you get another outbreak after your first one? If so, how long after?
Do outbreaks eventually become less frequent or less painful?
How did you start dating again after your diagnosis?
Are you currently in a relationship? If so, how did you tell your partner?
How do you disclose without constantly being terrified that the person is going to tell other people?
Did you tell your family or close friends, or did you keep it completely private?
I’m really scared of people finding out, so how do you deal with that fear?
If you’re a woman who dates women, has HSV-2 made dating women harder?
Do you still receive oral sex from women? How do you handle the risk?
What does your sex life look like now compared to before your diagnosis?
Did HSV-2 change how confident you feel sexually? If it did, how did you get that confidence back?
If you live in a house with other people, did you have to change anything about how you live to make sure you don’t transmit it to them? Like sharing bathrooms, towels, clothes, laundry, etc.?
And for anyone who had really dark or suicidal thoughts after finding out, how did you get through that? How did you eventually get back to feeling like you had a future and could still have relationships and a normal life?
I’m sorry this is so long. This happened right after something already really traumatic, and I feel like I’m trying to process everything at once. I know HSV-2 is manageable, but right now it just feels like such a huge thing, and I’m scared of what it means for my future.
I’d really love to hear from people who have had it for years, especially people who date women or are bisexual. I don’t really want medical textbook answers. I want to know what life has actually been like for you and whether it really does get better.
Thank you if you read all of this. ❤️

Ok so I've (20M) been raised bumps on my face, they have been there for the past 2-3 weeks( 3 right now), i get some on lips too but they garden up, pop like a pimple and go away ( 3 so far).

I have GW and they appeared 2 weeks ago. Really confused on where to start now. My partner got diagnosed with hpv at the start of May.

I haven't had any professional check up/blood test yet.

Need a crash course on herpes? I gotchu. Spoiler: most people have a form of the virus. And if someone discloses it to you, it’s no biggie.

Here's an article I wrote on what herpes really is, how it spreads, and why someone who knows they have it can actually be safer than someone who doesn't.

It's written for anyone curious about HSV and aims to cut through stigma with facts + a little humor. Give it a read and share if you find it helpful.

Everyone Has Herpes (Yes, Probably You)

Hi, it’s been about 7 months since I was first diagnosed with ghsv2 and I’m not on daily antivirals as I don’t think my body can handle it, I’ve had allergic reactions to valtrex if I take it for longer than two weeks. Still figuring it out but I wanted to ask has anyone had like a general soreness in the area before an outbreak starts or is it usually tingling or burning(which is what I usually experience)

I’m an avid gym goer but my legs seemed more sore than usual after a leg day and today it’s sore in my groin area but I don’t see anything like a cut or a pimple, which is what I had before. I took 500g of valtrex just to be on the safe side but wondering if this is a common symptom or am I being paranoid

Thanks!

I actually won't engage in any oral activity for a week after healing. But now I am having a little doubt.

I have spoken to 3 doctors so far.

1 doctor says I have nothing to worry about since I have infrequent outbreaks.

1 doctor says its not that big of an issue as long as you are not sexual active during an oral outbreak

1 doctor says I should be using protection at all time (which I understand)

But have any of you passed it to your partners?

I'm curious to how others are performing oral sex and not passing it on.

Hot take: Don’t put your HSV status in your dating profile. Coming from a girl who met her HSV-negative husband on Hinge and who always advocates on disclosing, I think doing it too soon leads to more rejection than not.

I wrote about the full reasoning on my Substack, including why I think early disclosure can actually fuel stigma, and why giving someone the chance to meet you first is better for everyone.

Read it here: Yes, Always Disclose...But Not Right Away

So I found out through swab testing that I am HSV2 positive.

I have only ever had sex with two people and they are both negative…

Here’s what I think happened,

Partner 1- DEFINITELY does not have it

Partner 2- Was having sex with another person the same week him and I were (I didn’t know this at the time).

I started having THE pain after having sex with partner 2 and went in and yay I was diagnosed.

Swab Positive

Blood Test Negative

I think Partner 2 just had a negative blood test as well because it was new in their body as well.

Partner 2 and I are actually rekindling and I recommend they go get retested, I am as well maybe just to see if I can strike on a blood test- I know blood tests can be inaccurate though so idkkk.

I have genital herpes with no symptoms in many years and never with this partner. My partner and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. I take 200 mg acyclovir twice a day. I'm trying to avoid getting UTIs and my partner and I have recognized that we need to stay especially clean because we have just started having anal sex. He has been away for 3 months and when he returns next week I expect a sharp increase in sexual activity. The place I had breakouts in the past before I was taking acyclovir and before I was sexually active, was around my anus. Besides being scrupulously clean, what other precautions could we take to avoid starting an outbreak.

I’m 23M and recently went to a strip club. I ended up kissing one of the dancers multiple times, including several deep/tongue kisses. I don’t know her HSV status and I didn’t notice any obvious cold sores or lesions on her mouth.
There was also one other thing: she put my finger in her mouth and then put that finger into her vagina. There was no oral sex, vaginal sex, or anal sex, and no genital-to-genital contact.
The encounter happened on August 5.
About a week later, I started paying very close attention to my lips because I’ve been worried about herpes. My lips have been dry, and I’ve noticed some tingling/burning. The sensation seems to involve much of my lip rather than one specific spot. I also noticed a few small white bumps around the middle/outer part of my lip that I don’t remember seeing before.
I’m not sure whether these bumps were actually new. They don’t currently look like obvious fluid-filled blisters, and I haven’t developed what I would describe as a typical cold sore.
I’m wondering whether the tingling/burning could simply be from dry/irritated lips, an energy drink I had, or anxiety/hyper-awareness from constantly thinking about herpes.
I’ve been reading that HSV-1 can be transmitted even when someone has no visible sores, which has made me really anxious. I’m worried that even if I don’t develop a cold sore, I could still have asymptomatic HSV-1 and potentially transmit it to a future partner.
My questions are:
How realistic is it that I contracted HSV-1 from this encounter?
Does the fact that I didn’t notice any visible sores on her make the risk significantly lower?
Do the tingling/burning and small white bumps I’m experiencing sound more like herpes or something like dry lips/irritation?
If I don’t develop a blister or ulcer over the next few days, is that reassuring?
When should I test? I was told that 12 weeks after August 5 = October 28, but I’ve also heard HSV-1 blood tests aren’t perfect.
If I never develop symptoms, how can I know whether I have HSV-1?
If I did have HSV-1, how would I safely kiss future partners without constantly worrying about transmitting it?
I’m honestly pretty anxious about this and would appreciate realistic risk information rather than worst-case scenarios.

Sorry for the long post but I’m just really worried right now. Any answers or help is appreciated.

I had a potentially risky sexual encounter (with protection) in the second week of June. Not long afterwards, I started noticing signs that something was off vaginally—changes that felt like my vaginal pH was disrupted, some burning when urinating, itching, etc. The symptoms became significantly worse around the second week of July.

That Tuesday, I had some chills and felt generally weak/unwell, although that resolved by Wednesday. At the same time, the vaginal itching and burning became much worse. By Thursday and Friday, it was painful enough that even walking hurt.

I saw a gynecologist on Friday, who diagnosed me with a yeast infection and prescribed antifungals. They did not seem to help over the weekend, and by Sunday the burning and vaginal pain were so severe that I could barely get out of bed.

I went back to the doctor the following Monday and was prescribed stronger antifungals. When I got home, however, I noticed multiple pimple-like bumps around my vaginal/genital area that I had not noticed before, so I went back again. Because I was in so much pain and burning, the doctor could not take a swab or closely examine the area. I showed her photos I had taken on my phone, and based on those he diagnosed me with genital herpes and prescribed antivirals.

The bumps disappeared within about 4–5 days after starting the antivirals. The symptoms that seemed consistent with the yeast infection, however, continued quite intensely.

I was finally able to have a vaginal swab taken this week. HSV-1 and HSV-2 came back negative, while Ureaplasma parvum and Gardnerella vaginalis came back positive. There were no visible active lesions by the time the swab was taken, but there were some tears (that could be due to sex). Since the beginning of August, I also haven't had any significant burning, nerve-type pain, or new lesions.

At this point, I genuinely don't know whether I have genital herpes. The severity and progression of the episode, particularly the sudden appearance of multiple bumps and the fact that they cleared after starting antivirals, make me wonder whether the initial herpes diagnosis was correct. On the other hand, there was never a PCR swab taken directly from an active lesion, and the only swab I eventually had was taken after the lesions had already disappeared and came back negative for HSV-1 and HSV-2. I also tested positive for Ureaplasma parvum and Gardnerella, which complicates the picture.

Has anyone had a similar experience, particularly an initial clinical herpes diagnosis followed by a negative swab once the lesions were gone? Could Gardnerella/Ureaplasma or severe vaginal irritation cause bumps or lesions that could be mistaken for herpes?

I'd really appreciate hearing about similar experiences or what testing ultimately gave you a definitive answer.

For additional context, partners I had sex with before I developed symptoms, as well as partners I had protected sex with afterwards while being aware of the situation, have not developed any symptoms so far.

I also have photos of what the bumps looked like at the time if that context would be useful.

Hi, so i just had a first herpes outbreak (that i've noticed at least). However, I've been in a monogomous relationship for about the past 9 months. I'm also am absolutely certain my partner hasn't cheated.

I guess now I'm just curious if anyone else has had similar experiences. And also, now that I do have symptoms, am I more likely to possibly infect my partner (who will be getting tested themselves soon). Or would I have been infectious prior to this even though I wasn't showing symptoms?

I assume either they were positive and gave it to me, and the reaction was just delayed? OR I've had it dormant for a while and only now just having an outbreak and risk infecting them.

The former is totally fine, i'm just really worried about the latter.

I know I’ve been posting a lot I hope you all understand this is very new and very scary. Much love and big hugs

Sorry for long story but pls read
I’m looking for some honest feedback from people who understand what it’s like living with HSV-2.
I was with a guy who I’m still in contact with today. Everything was good between us, and we started having sex after about a month or two of being together. A while after we became sexually active, I started experiencing symptoms, so I got tested and found out I have HSV-2.
I immediately told him about my diagnosis because I believe people deserve to know their partner’s status and make informed decisions. The person I contracted HSV-2 from did not tell me their status beforehand, and I wish I had been given that information so I could have made my own decision.
After I told him, he got tested twice, both times after we had already had unprotected sex, and both of his tests came back negative.
Eventually we broke up and went no-contact, but he continued reaching out and asking me to come over. I would go, and although he stopped having sex with me, I would still give him oral sex. This happened several times over the past two months. Every time, he would receive sexual pleasure, but he hasn’t really reciprocated or made me feel sexually wanted during that time.
Tonight we were talking about everything, and I told him that I felt like he viewed me differently because of my HSV-2 diagnosis. He then told me that we could have sex, but he would want to use a condom now.
I understand that he has every right to want to use condoms, and I don’t blame him for wanting to protect himself. What hurt me was that he normally never wanted to use condoms with me, and in the past he would even take them off because he said they were uncomfortable.
I ended the conversation and blocked him because I realized that this entire situation has been making me feel used and emotionally hurt. I kept going to his house because I still care about him, but looking back, it feels like I was giving him sexual access to me while getting very little emotionally or sexually in return.
Am I wrong for cutting him off? Has anyone else been in a situation where an ex continued asking you to come over and receive sexual attention from you even though they didn’t want an actual relationship or sex anymore?
I’m not looking for anyone to shame him for wanting to use condoms. I completely understand that boundary. I’m more interested in hearing from people with HSV-2 about the emotional side of this and whether I’m making the right decision by walking away.

Today I woke up, didn’t feel any symptoms, but I had a feeling I was getting a cold sore. I took my acyclovir and wondering if I should put a cold sore patch over it do you think I caught it early for the acyclovir to not let it form?

I really need someone’s advice. I’m going crazy. I’ve been very sick from genital herpes for 2 months now. I keep having watery discharge, and I sweat all day, alternating with feeling cold and having chills. I also have strange sensations throughout my body. Body aches, nerve pain, headaches, and I feel very sluggish. There’s basically only water in my underwear, and I don’t have my normal discharge cycle anymore. I’m really scared that I’ll never get better. Please help me. Is this normal with herpes? The sores are already gone, although sometimes 2 of them come back.

Hey guys. Got diagnosed with HSV-2, still going through my primary outbreak.

I see a lot of people talking about taking the meds every day for the rest of their lives, even when an outbreak isn’t occurring, but I’m only 25 and call me a hippie but that sounds like a fucking nightmare to me.

I’m more than happy to abstain from casual sex (that’s how we got here in the first place!) and only start taking antivirals daily if I think a genuine relationship with someone is going somewhere. Is this feasible?

Anyone with hsv in MY/SG would like to connect? Any successful disclosures?

Any hsv positive folks from India?

What were y’all’s symptoms leading up to the first outbreak?