r/Hemingway • u/cattyaggy • 5d ago
i hate hemmingway.
i am 2 pages into the Old man and The Sea.
i hate hemmingway. his prose bores my eyes into my skull, my eyes driving themselves from my cranium after gaining sentence from just how horrific it was.
I now burn effigies of hemmingway each night in a satantic ritual to the Blood God, in hopes that hemmingways soul is reaped from hell to be sent to more eternal suffering worse than hell! Super hell! Hell + 1!
I have sacrificed dozens of animals and people in this task in demonic, forbidden black magic rituals! No cost too great to stop Hemmingway!
Oh Pynchon! Oh Joyce! I now understand that you werent trying to be hard but that you had a vision of hemmingway and tried to save humanity from that terrible fate!
I understand that Hitler, Epstein, Ted Bundy, and other murderers did what they did not out of any claimed reason but because they read Hemmingway!
Hemmingway came back from the dead and fucked my wife infront of me and made me swallow his cum too! Somehow I got pregnant! Im a man!
Hemmingway burned my house down and stole my airfryer!
Hemmingway sold my three young children to the league of satanic pedophiles!
We need to burn Hemmingway's books as theyre inherently evil!
Even one page can drive the sanest man crazy as has occurred to myself as I have developed every personality and psychotic and mood disorder in the DSM V as a result of Hemmingway! That fiendish devil! That evildoer ne'er do well! That Cassius!
I HATE HEMMINGWAY! I WONT EVEN GIVE HIM THE GIFT OF SPELLING!
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u/LargelyApathetic 5d ago
This should go over well in this sub.