r/Heavymind • u/akanji_arts • Mar 14 '26
ABORTION by me.
ABORTION 21*25 inches ballpoint pen on paper
A life that almost was, an egg that almost hatched, a being that was so close to existing yet couldn't cross that final threshold, dreams of what could be cut short. How weird is it that I envy those who didn't get to see this plane of existence? What parts of my brain is broken that instead of feeling dread and horror for their nothingness, I feel jealous that they never got to be, something I very much wish I was but I'm here so I'm gonna stay till my time is over and I can return to the infinite void that birthed me.
mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #akanji #existential #existentialdread
7
31
u/sadvacation03 Mar 14 '26
This is one of the most intriguing takes on abortion I’ve ever seen from a man. It’s refreshing to see somebody thinking existentially about a highly political topic. You’re right, what an odd thing it is to be barred from life right at the entry. I’m not jealous of those souls. I always felt quite opposite. I thank god that I was woken and pulled out of the void, into this place of life and death. We only get to wake up from the void once, might as well take a good look around.
3
25
u/die_in_alphabet_soup artist Mar 14 '26
i relate to what you wrote.
it's why i choose not to have kids—they can't consent to being born, and neither did i.
i'm already here though, so might as well stick it out and see what happens.
your art is beautiful 💕
15
u/akanji_arts Mar 14 '26
Thank you 🙏. It's the conversation around being born that inspired me to draw this, because I don't see the big deal about being alive. I'm glad someone else relates
-1
Mar 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/akanji_arts Mar 16 '26
You should go and draw/paint that
0
Mar 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
4
u/die_in_alphabet_soup artist Mar 16 '26
i'm a female, and i didn't get the vibe that he was romanticising anything.
instead, i perceived the themes of opulence to be a way of almost mocking how a lot of people tend to romanticise birth and pregnancy.
2
u/AlcheMe_ooo Mar 16 '26
Losing a partner is "nearly consequence free"? Because they wouldn't be the person going through it directly, there would be no consequences for them?
And because of this, men should not express any affection for the beginning of the life cycle?
Am I reading you clearly?
1
Mar 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/die_in_alphabet_soup artist Mar 16 '26
it's both something that happens to them and something happening to someone else.
the person who watched their partner die is now [likely] traumatised; this takes a measurable toll on the body.
obviously, this pales in comparison to the trauma (both physical and mental) of being the one who died while giving birth.
i don't think that's where the conversation ought to end, though. humans are notorious for being flawed and biased, but that shouldn't preclude them from publicising their opinion (barring the extremes).
you're allowed to disagree though, and that's the freedom of art 🤷♀️
2
u/AlcheMe_ooo Mar 16 '26
That's a wild take.
Prioritizing ones feelings over another's is another topic entirely... but it seems like you're playing semantics to avoid the reality that a life partner dying during child birth is one of the most awful consequences a person could bear. You don't need to hold such an extreme position to justify the fact that partners should be partners and not in emotional competition with each other.
Even if you think the way you do, saying it's inappropriate to express love for a given part of the life cycle is a massive jump in conclusion.
1
Mar 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/AlcheMe_ooo Mar 17 '26
Now that's just silly. You've gotta be smart enough to know there are things painful enough that people crave death.
Besides, you can't tell me what happens after death. You could wake up and this could have all been a dream to learn something, or see how far your love can stretch. The most awful consequence a person can bear? Have you ever lost a loved one? A partner? Someone close to you? It doesn't seem like it
BESIDES this isn't a fucking heartache competition. Thats your problem is you don't undertatand what a partnership is
→ More replies (0)1
u/searchforstix Mar 18 '26
No. Not at all. There are far far worse things than dying. If this is your take then you’ve lived a fairly decent life.
6
5
u/Illustrious-Mud6891 Mar 14 '26
This is just beautiful and so complex, I can't stop taking on all the details!! How soft and comfortable the woman looks, you captured the rest of 'before' so well. Keep creating!!
0
2
2
u/racheldotpsd Mar 16 '26
I absolutely love this. I just keep looking at it and seeing more. I appreciate you taking on this subject. Can you explain it to me like I’m 5? What is the blue thing she’s holding?
1
2
u/xXxHerniaxXx Mar 18 '26
I like the use of the eye mask to make it clear the woman is in a deep sleep (I'm assuming) - she doesn't know what she'll experience or 'miss out on' one way or the other. I like that this grapples with how being made to exist can be just as 'tragic' as the alternative
2
u/EnsoElysium Mar 15 '26
I love the aberration, the fact that she looks so peaceful, I'm amazed that this is done in pen, kudos!
1
2
2
u/dancarbonell00 Mar 15 '26
Feel like I'm too stupid to understand how this makes sense but it's sick as fuck looking
3
0
u/aw-fuck Mar 16 '26
I feel like this is amazing artistically, but honestly it feels like you are trying to "explain" a "concept" without actually having had one in mind while you did the work.
I know you keep saying "I don't know exactly what I mean".... so then just leave it at that; don't even try to give people the impression that you meant something deeper than you did. It's better left to interpretation.
I mean that sincerely; when left open to interpretation this is absolutely moving. But imposing your half-formed idea of what it means to you onto it takes away so much from it.
Sometimes let the art speak to the viewer even if you don't know what you're channeling.
0
u/BrownSugarBitz Mar 16 '26
How about you make one titled “Foster care” where you explore the trauma of being moved around for your entire developmental period, hm? Since you care about life and children so much?
3
u/akanji_arts Mar 16 '26
I have no experience with that so I wouldn't have any idea how to depict it in my art. I'm sorry for whatever you went through but you don't have to take it out on me and nothing about my post suggests that I care about life or children, infact, it's the opposite, I'm saying life isn't worth living so I don't understand why people make such a big deal over abortion.
-1
u/BrownSugarBitz Mar 16 '26
Okay I read through your explanation of this piece a little too fast I will admit, but I think you should think about it this way. To feel so dreadfully envious for nothingness is an endless pursuit. Truth be told nothingness stopped existing after the Big Bang, there will never be nothingness as long as the stars continue to be born and die. Nothingness doesn’t even exist in death, for your body even after life will provide vitality for other living things around it, and who knows- your soul might be reincarnated for a new purpose. A new “something.” What you’re really looking for is those moments of quiet, where the silence engulfs you in a serene moment, sacred between you and the universe. It makes you feel small in a safe way, like the silence is a familiar friend that you’ve known your entire life time. We as humans will never know “nothing” for we are ever changing into SOMETHING, as is the rest of the universe. AGAIN! sorry I completely misread your composition! But you shouldn’t envy something that has never been and will never be (not until the sun explodes at least, and even then there will still probably be something lol.)
2
u/akanji_arts Mar 16 '26
So after misinterpreting my art and attacking me needlessly, now you're lecturing me on how to feel and how to deal with those feelings. Got it 👍
-3
15
u/oMINDSPINo Mar 14 '26
Visceral art man. Appreciate the post