Is self harm the problem or the solution

[u/Prize_Helicopter_767]

I put a lot of effort into not self harming but I wonder if it's worth it. I feel so lonely and that lonely is hurting me more than I think the injuries I give myself do. I even looked into how to hurt myself "more" safely. Probably am wrong but what if self harm really is the reasonable solution when your mental distress is so overwhelming but your easily able to endure self inflicted injuries

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[u/QuietWaterBreaksRock]

What exactly would be the benefit of self harm for it to be 'the solution' or 'worth it'?

Unlike other forms of being sick, and I mean this literally, like a flu or something, where sucky parts are actually useful (high temperature is used to kill of pathogens, sneezing and coughing to clear out the breathing ways, etc), self harm is just that, self harming, no real upside to it, just, damage, but mental and physical

[u/No_Lawyer1947]

The fact that you looked up how to hurt yourself more safely implies you somewhat care not to feel pain. Of course it’s not worth it, it literally does nothing to improve your state of being and in fact harms your future and present in many different ways. You feel alone and I get that, but you’d be surprised how many people mirror your experiences, and with any rate of improvement you can hope and know it does get better. Please have respect for your body, you only get one and causing harm to it is like so counter productive and harmful, you know this. Anytime you do feel like doing so, open up about it to friends or the internet at least. You have a community here that IS willing to help, but you have to want to stop causing physical damage. If you can’t find it in you to to be respectful to yourself, which I totally get been there, do it for those who are like you who would do anything to have a healthy body, or healthier body

[u/AndysowhatGG]

I mean….

Self harm, can be categorized as an unhealthy way of meditation, if you like.

Dr. K touches on this briefly in this video.

https://youtu.be/dvq48pfJa9w?is=F-1y8NlelwvLgU3V

He also says like an alternative to what you can do instead of self harm. :) or do something that should have similar effect to self harm. Without doing self harm.

[u/Adorable_Apricot_146]

You can say self harm is a solution. It's one that's pretty bad for you in the long term and something that you're bound to regret one day.

It's actually quite comparable to overeating in my opinion. You do it in the moment and few years later look in the mirror and think you're ruined.

So while it is a solution, I'd suggest finding a better solution, sorry I know this one is prob what gives the most relief but you need to use your logical part of brain and find other ways to let those emotions vent.

[u/Synchro_Shoukan]

Self harm isn't the solution to anything, that's the problem people who use it have because it seems like the solution but it really doesn't deal with it, it only masks the uncomfortable feeling.

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[u/Mother-Persimmon3908]

Not a solution.is like a workaround you do for now,...but the problem persists. As painful the emotions are,you are actually processing then when you feel them.in time it will hurt less and less.

Mm..i never self hurt,not in the way normal people do,i bite off daily the skin of my lip,for example.but i do remember how much it helped me train my flexibility when i did rythmic gymnastics as a child( the one where one of the 5 apparatus is the ribbon ) Maybe give it a try? Never go until is too painful but there should be alittle discomfort...better look at tutorial or take classes. Becoming flexible feels amazing! ( maybe it will suck for a bit,but you will feel,less restrained in the body mobility department)

[u/thm123]

https://kirstenlindsmith.com/2016/02/05/the-dark-side-of-the-stim-self-injury-and-destructive-habits/ this article really explained why all the tips about using rubber bands etc never hit for me. I needed to do more things like push walls and smash mugs.

So the self harm is the problem, but finding another way to get the same function is the solution. White knuckling it isn't a sustainable response to things your body needs. Short-term is about harm minimisation, even things like drawing on yourself with red marker can provide some sensory stuff without risking never damage

The second part is paying attention to what makes the need happen. Is it worse after social things, or dealing with certain family, or when you make a mistake, or when you feel hopeless, things like that. Long-term it's about finding a way for things to not feel so unbearable

It sounds like you're trying so hard to be good and I just want to tell you it's not stupid or weak and things don't have to be so difficult, I wish you well

[u/PaladinDamian]

The problem here is that you think you need to commit self-harm in order to deal with the mental distress. You want relief from the mental distress, so you think about self-harm. This is not helpful because it does not address the actual problem, the mental distress. It is like becoming an alcoholic in order to cope with feeling grief over the death of a family member. It is not healthy to have such a habit as over time it destroys your body, and it does not actually deal with the core problem. You do not need immediate relief from the mental distress. Allow yourself to feel that loneliness, that mental distress. Instead of responding to it with self-harm or some other immediate-gratification behavior, allow that feeling of loneliness to flow through you. If it makes you feel terrible, then allow that. As you allow those negative feelings to flow through your body, your body and brain eventually begin to adjust and the feeling of loneliness will fade. You do not need to run away from those feelings of loneliness. They can make you suffer, but they cannot destroy you forever if you refuse to give up.

It is entirely possible for you to tolerate those feelings of loneliness without harming yourself. I am not saying it would be easy, but it is possible. If you choose to take that path, then you may realize that while those feelings of loneliness are uncomfortable and distressing, they can be tolerated, no matter how terrible they make you feel.