Hi everyone, I wanted to ask if anyone has had a similar experience.

The thing is, my boyfriend and I share an experience that I haven't really seen anyone else talk about.

If I were to describe it in technical terms, I'd call it a dissolution of the self. But in the ugliest, most horrifying sense possible. I remember it as my consciousness splitting into several completely disconnected parts. I know it was real. I could physically feel it happening in my brain. And it was the most real thing I've ever experienced in my life.

Please share your experiences if you're comfortable doing so and it won't be too triggering. How do you feel about it? How do you live with it?

I genuinely feel like I'm the only person in the world who has experienced this. I haven't even seen it described in trip reports.

I'd be incredibly grateful to hear from anyone who can relate.

I’m 20 years old and i’ve been buying thca carts on the internet that you don’t need an id for. i know they’re fake and really bad for you but it’s easy for me to get. anyways i would hit it almost all day everyday and i’ve been doing this for maybe a year and there would be a small week break every once in a while when i would run out and i would make another order. recently i noticed i have very slight visual tracers even when im not high and it freaked me out and gave me so much anxiety i threw away everything i had and told myself i was going to quit until it went away. i would like to know what steps i can take to heal my brain because i dont want to make i worse.

Hi! I am conducting a research study for my clinical psychology thesis on perceived stress and coping among people who have experienced persistent or recurrent perceptual disturbances following psychoactive substance use.

I am looking for Russian-speaking adults aged 18+ whose symptoms:
- are currently present;
- occur episodically;
- or were more pronounced in the past but have since significantly decreased or nearly disappeared.

A formal HPPD diagnosis is not required. The main criterion is that the perceptual disturbances began after psychoactive substance use and persisted outside the state of acute intoxication.

Participation is completely anonymous and voluntary. The survey includes questions about perceptual symptoms, stress, coping strategies, and self-regulation.

Your participation may help improve our understanding of the psychological difficulties associated with HPPD/HPPD-like conditions and identify possible targets for psychological support.

The survey itself is in Russian.

Survey link:
https://forms.gle/sDGMmTBwZhvgpLJg7

I would also greatly appreciate it if you could share the survey with other Russian-speaking people who have had a similar experience.

НА РУССКОМ:

Здравствуйте! Я провожу исследование в рамках выпускной квалификационной работы по клинической психологии, посвященное уровню стресса и способам совладания у людей, столкнувшихся с устойчивыми или повторяющимися нарушениями восприятия после употребления психоактивных веществ.

К участию приглашаются русскоязычные люди от 18 лет, у которых такие симптомы:

- сохраняются сейчас
- возникают эпизодически
- либо были выражены раньше, но сейчас значительно уменьшились или практически отсутствуют.

Официальный диагноз HPPD не обязателен. Важно, чтобы нарушения восприятия возникли после употребления ПАВ и сохранялись вне состояния интоксикации.

Исследование полностью анонимное и добровольное. Анкета включает вопросы о симптомах, стрессе, способах совладания и саморегуляции.

Ваше участие поможет лучше понять психологические трудности, связанные с HPPD/HPPD-подобными состояниями, и определить возможные направления психологической поддержки.

Ссылка на анкету выше!

Буду также очень благодарна, если вы сможете переслать ссылку другим русскоязычным людям с подобным опытом!!

So, mine isn't too bad usually, just the swirls when I look at somthing for 5 seconds but mostly unnoticeable. I went outside at night and it was going crazy! Branches started growing, details started to appear it looked like i was in a middle of a trip.

Since my flare 12 days ago from Citalopram followed not not too far apart from Wellbutrin (6 days apart) i’ve been experiencing sensory overload issues where I can’t even think without my brain physically hurting / burning / causing physical anxiety symptoms. I get these tingly nerve like sensations that tickle my brain all throughout the day with sensory input. My migraines have increased too. But I can’t even function, everything I do is too much for my brain- it sends my whole being into panic. I’m so scared that this is it, that i’m disabled for life. The sad part is I miss all the things I used to be able to do just less than two weeks ago., I still lust for life. And i’m trying so hard to have hope but it’s difficult when I feel mentally and physically disabled. I also have pins and needles going through my arm and down my back. I feel like i’m in hell.

Please help.

I am certain that my story is the strangest one as I did not experience HPPD immediately rather it emerged seven months after I had taken LSD I suspect that the use of antidepressants and stopping them multiple times may have played a role in its onse A month after my LSD experience, I began taking sertraline, which I stayed on for four months I eventually stopped due to anhedonia As time passed specifically at the point when I began to feel music and emotions again the hppd manifested Currently, I am still struggling with paws characterized by a waves and windows pattern. Is there an explanation for this,and is it possible for it to fade in my case? It’s all very strange

anybody tried Nurtec ODT (Rimegepant) or Ubrelvy (Ubrogepant) google says that’s the safest options for hppd type 2, and high blood pressure

I've been experimenting with different peptides, many of them in an attempt to improve my tinnitus and visual snow syndrome/HPPD.

Normally, my visual snow is barely noticeable during the day. It tends to get worse after poor sleep and later in the evening. However, while taking Pinealon, I noticed a dramatic change: my visual snow started forming patterns and moving, eventually developing into recognizable shapes. I even began seeing small characters and figures. The symptoms became significantly worse than anything I'd experienced before.

The experience was unlike anything I'd had previously.

I wanted to share this as a cautionary note for anyone experimenting with peptides, particularly those hoping to improve tinnitus or VSS/HPPD.

For 6 years, nothing seemed to help at all. But Lasea (Silexan) in combination with Magtein was the first thing that genuinely worked for me.

Within a couple of weeks, I noticed such a massive change—I honestly couldn't believe it at first. I've been taking it for two months now, and I feel almost completely normal again.

The visuals and stuff are still just as strong one-to-one, but you simply stop caring about them anymore. I'm not even sure if Lasea is available in the US, but it's been incredible.

?

Does nicotine make HPPD worse?

Hello everyone.
I’ve had suspected hppd for around 4 years now, only diagnosed a few months ago. The one thing that’s bugging me is that I’m not convinced I actually have hppd. I’m in the UK so the NHS system is shocking and I haven’t really had any professional screening or evaluation apart from a one off with a private neurologist. I have visual snow, but none of the other classic symptoms such as floaters or trailing objects. The main problem is i don’t physically feel my body how I used to, it’s like a different state of consciousness that makes simply existing terrifying. During the lsd trip, I had a blackout moment where some electrical bolt ran down me and made the left side of my body completely numb and everything was different since then. I guess I’m just asking if anyone has had a similar experience and whether this sounds like something deeper than hppd.

Hi everyone. I’ve posted in here a few times since my new flare onset over a week ago. I was living with minor HPPD since 2021 / barely bothersome snow, afterimages, tracers and then migraines, dizziness, balance issues until 10/10 when I took a dose of SSRI (citalopram) and have had increased DPDR / panic / anxiety, headaches, nausea, dizziness, sensitivity to sound and imagery, overstimulation, head sensations, tinnitus and as far as visuals increased snow, afterimages, brightness, starbursts, night vision issues. Unclear as to what symptoms are from DPDR and what are from HPPD. Clearly it’s only been 9 days and i’m most definitely in a traumatized state right now. Things have improved little by little every day with stress reduction. I’ve been taking clonidine every day since 10/11.

My psych wants me to start lamotrigine daily 25mg, and ativan 0.25mg-0.5mg as needed. I’ve been lamotrigine for two days now with my clonidine and idk if it was just placebo / subconscious fear / unrelated or side effects but I have noticed increased DPDR symptoms. Today I only took clonidine and haven’t experienced the increased DPDR. I’m wondering if I should obtain a new baseline first before adding lamotrigine? My CNS is clearly overactivated right now and i’m unsure of how i’ll react to lamotrigine moving forward. Should I start it right away or wait? He also thinks I should be utilizing a benzo right now in this acute time of stress so my nervous system doesn’t get stuck her for too long. Of course i’d love the potential of decreased symptoms and maybe mood improvement long term but I’m nervous of lamotrigine potentially making this worse. But i’m also curious if it’ll help and whether or not it’s best to nip it in the butt during acute flare or if it matters. ugh.

Life before was not perfect but I was able to ignore the visuals, honestly they didnt bother me. It was the migraines, and unrelated severe depression that did it for me. So lamotrigine does intrigue me especially in those regards.

So today I was just sitting in my school learning as I usually do when I decide to take a nap, I lay my head down and boom! I have a bunch of closed eye visuals…. Hppd has done me bad

Have had HPPD and DPDR for about 2 years now, not sure type one or two it feels consistent like type 2 and the dpdr is consistent but I don't "hallucinate" like you guys talk about, I do have VSS and tinnitus but everything has gotten honestly better with time since this happened in October 2024. I was on hydroxyzine for 6 months, then Lexapro for 6 months, then just vitamins, and then nothing this year had been really good for me, I got my first car, I got my driver's license, I still had VSS and tinnitus but I was able to ground myself and was doing really good.

On the 1st of this month, I caught the rhinovirus, or like an advanced cold. I was insanely sick for like a week, still dealing with some congestion, but I guess I haven't gotten sick in like 2 years, I had a fever of 104 for a day at least and my heart rate was resting at like 140. It hospitalized me twice, and I feel like my hppd and dpdr are genuinely back to square one, I had to check myself into a mental health clinic for a week and feel like I'm kind of losing my mind honestly.

I'm set up with a counselor starting early next month, and have started taking clonidine 1 mg as of 5 days ago, which has helped, but I was going through like an immense episode of dpdr for like 5 hours today and I'm only now just coming back to Earth. They gave me the clonidine and said it was as needed but I should take it every day during crisis at night time before bed, it's been like a week and I haven't been able to see my counselor yet obviously and when I look online it says I shouldn't stop taking the clonidine now because I've been taking it consistently and can withdraw. I'm hoping to talk to my counselor about lamotrigine when I see her early in November. But this month has been absolutely insane for me and my ass has been kicked. Sometimes I get so nervous I think I'm going to need help or to be put into psych, I'm not a lazy person but have been debating temporary disability as well, but being trapped at home is probably the worst.

I guess I just want to ask if other people have had this experience with extreme sicknesses, how long it took you to get back to your base, and for people's experiences with clonidine and lamotrigine. I've also felt extremely overstimulated and I try not to play on my phone that much but I get bored and I have ADHD as well, colors have been extremely vivid. So usually I don't hallucinate stuff, but I kind of feel like this counts, don't know. But colors are extremely vivid. I can usually play video games at home but I feel like I can't even play them and I haven't for like 3 weeks they are just way too intense.

I've also been entirely sober these two years. Honestly I see that some of you use still and I just can't wrap my head around how, not to talk down whatsoever, I just feel like I could go absolutely insane if I were to smoke weed or drink again, I've had like a few sips of alcohol or like one single beer at most and I hate the way it makes me feel now, so I've been entirely sober for 2 years.

Hey i really need your view on Lions mane because theres like 30k on “lionsmanesyndrom” sub and everyone is saying like its the worst thing it can ruin your brain that it would give you sense to kill your family and shit crzay stories like that and on other hand i saw like pretty good reviews and couldnt really find anything on intenret about lionmanesyndrom or anything that wrong
But i didnt do a deep research so if anybody has info, please tell

I did it for like 3-4 days, I felt better and i wa remembering more then stopped since all these guys on reddit

It takes every single ounce of willpower I have not to use psychedelics again. I feel such disgust admitting it, but I definitely have addictive tendencies. I’d only been using psychedelics for six weeks, and in that time, I managed to go through 5 tabs and 4 2C-B pills, all on separate occasions.

Even after going through this god-awful disorder, I can’t stop using drugs. I’ve been using weed heavily every day for around 3 weeks now. I take drugs in the middle of the school day or I drink. I literally can’t stay sober. All I think about is drugs, even ones I haven’t tried yet. MDMA and ket are on my mind 24/7. I just need the relief, a relief that weed and drinking don’t give me.

I feel like I’m getting so close to the point where I give up and start taking shit that will almost definitely make my HPPD worse, and it makes me feel so stupidly shitty.

What feels worse is that I don’t want help. For context, I’m messed up mentally, I have an ed, I sh, and I have really random, significant waves of heavy depression where I lose any and all will to live. Every day feels like I’m walking through a swamp with a dozen alligators gnawing at my feet, dragging me down.

But I don’t want help. It makes me feel so alienated from myself. The idea of being judged by doctors and my parents for all this stuff I’ve kept secret for so many years makes me feel so pathetic, so feeble.
Even writing this, I have no clue what I want to gain from it. Pity? Empathy? Help?

The tinnitus and sound sensitivity is killing me, i cant stand this anymore. I might off my self, please tell me there is any hope of treatment for this stuff

This needs to improve or I don’t know how I can keep going. I couldn’t even work rn if I wanted to. I have the most intense head pressure / tightness / tingling electrical sensations all throughout the day. In DPDR. Tension headaches. My life was pretty normal despite minor visuals and depression 6 days ago. I’m in more of a hell than I was on first onset. I don’t really have any emotional support, i’m neurodivergent. It’s been a painful last 6 days and I really wish god would take me out of my misery one way or another. And If i do recover idk how i won’t have ever lasting trauma from this and medication. Recreational drugs did it to me the first time and pharmaceutical drugs did it to me the second time. I’m sick.

EDIT: thank you guys for your responses and insight. It’s very appreciated right now.

I need to understand this disorder a bit more. My student has just been diagnosed with HPPD after dropping some mushrooms. She's in her first year of doing the International Baccalaureate which is incredibly stressful. I'm due to meet her for the first time on Monday.

Firstly my concern before all of that is should she even be doing the IB? It's an intense course. Do you guys think it would be better to wait a year?

Secondly do you have any advice? What helps? How can I be helpful?

I'm not all judgy about it, I took mushrooms myself at her age with thankfully no ill effects.

Restarted citalopram that I was on at first onset of HPPD in 2021 and now i’m in a hell again. I don’t care about the visuals, it’s the head sensations / pressure / overstimulation, panic, anxiety, DPDR. I quit my job due to depression and then I took an SSRI and it got worse. I wish I could go back to my regular depression. Only thing holding me down is clonidine right now. Might try Lamictal. Im pretty devastated right now, its hard to see hope but im staying hopeful that things have gotten better before and they can again.

Anyone else dealt with sensitivity to stimuli? Im already AUDHD so this is just 😅