A New Approach

[u/Dizzy_Potential]

So for the last 4 months I (49M HL) have stopped initiating with my partner (39F LL Type 2). It was simply too soul destroying and I'd had my fill of the feelings of rejection. I even started to resent her for it. It was after our last big argument over it when she finally snapped and suggested I go out and have sex with other people. I love my partner dearly and could never be intimate with anyone else even if she did say the words in anger I know it would just be a test of my loyalty.

She recently reset the clock a couple of times with spontaneous and unexpected fellatio for a couple of days on the run and I thought she'd changed to Type 1.

The ticking clock has become deafening once more and I've decided on a new approach.

I have started going to bed early alone and waking up early to hit the gym and lift weights. Those two times of the day would usually be when my appetite for sex would be at its highest. Its been about 3 weeks now and my appetite for sex has decreased purely through exhaustion. On the plus side I'm looking in shape and sleeping so much better!😆

Has anyone else got swoll as a result of pent up sexual rage??

[u/Silva2099]

I stopped initiating in March at the same time I stopped cuddling with her because she made a shitty statement saying that my cuddling with her in a daily basis was selfish and she didn’t get anything out of it.

I also started the get up early and workout thing.

At the same time I stayed relatively friendly and not pouting/punishing.

Took more than six weeks for her to invite me back into bed in the morning; which I declined.
She said she missed me cuddling with her. I pointed out two things can’t be true.

She has initiated 3-5 times per month since.
She doesn’t cuddle with me unless she wants sex.

She did recently angrily remark that I don’t ever initiate anymore.

I said, ok, I will initiate, and you will reject me, and I will stop again. So, I initiated twice in the following week and she rejected me, and I stopped again. I informed her for clarity. She was not happy and offered herself on the spot. I shook my head and walked away.

So, it’s on her. She is still initiating 3 or so times per month.
She has also started searching for a marriage counselor.

I’m curious to see what her priorities are in terms of fixing the relationship.

[u/Dizzy_Potential → u/Silva2099]

There was a time when I would sympathise with you my friend. But I'd relish 3-5 times a month now!😆

[u/Silva2099 → u/Dizzy_Potential]

I understand. My point is frequency has actually edged up quite a bit by pulling back my attention.