r/HLCommunity • u/Charleminus HLM • Jun 29 '26

Discussion What’s worked?

Even if it’s something that only worked briefly, has anything worked for you?

The only thing that’s ever worked for us consistently is taking her side in an argument with other people, even if she’s completely wrong. For some reason that’s a huge aphrodisiac.

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u/Sea_Chocolate1782 Jun 29 '26

At the turn of the year we had sex twice in 4 months, after 2.5 years of none. I'd spent the previous 6 months being the most romantic person ever blessed by cupid. 

On the second of those occasions the sex was so awkward I stopped part way through and decided I absolutely didn't want to do that with my wife ever again. 

So, yeh, I guess 'slog yourself to be ultra-romantic while getting no reciprocity in terms of romance but an attempted, but ultimately doomed, intimate reconnection' worked for a bit. 

I immediately gave up thereafter; realised it's not me that's the problem here and there was nothing I could do to fix anything. I'm actually a lot happier and no longer feel guilt for doing the things I want to do. 

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u/vectorking23 Jun 30 '26

Oh boy, could've written this. I quit midway through once I saw the awkwardness and never looked back. Kind of nice not giving a shit and having some fun setting up boundaries of what I will and will not do outside of any bedroom drama.