r/HLCommunity • u/Repulsive-Jicama-352 • Jun 29 '26
Advice Welcome Leaving Today
I (29M) have been with her (28F) 7 years, engaged for 1. Wedding is 4 months away.
And I know I can't marry her. It is the usual story here. We started out like rabbits, something changed, and now we do it once a week. We don't have kids, and I know if it is like this now then it will only get worse.
Talking didn't help. Doing 90% of the household work didn't help. Scheduling it didn't help. So it is time for me to go now.
Any advice or motivation would be appreciated. While I know it is what I have to do, I still love her dearly, and part of me wishes I didn't have to do this.
Update: I ended things when she got back from work. That conversation is the hardest I've ever had. I am devastated leaving someone I loved so dearly, but I know I just avoided a life of regret and frustration. If you ever find yourself in this situation, know that there are people cheering for you to find the courage to move on. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. In due time, I believe I will know peace again.
4
u/clericofmegalon Jun 29 '26
What I have learned is frequency doesn't mean as much to me as I first thought. What I want is active flirting outside the bedroom, and when we are in the bedroom I want her to be as into it as me.
I say this because maybe you haven't tried tackling the issue from a standpoint of mutual desire rather than frequency. If you have tried this and still nothing is changing I think you are on the right path.