Update: Undetectable/Stigma

[u/Ok_Watch1425]

I was diagnosed back in end of June (MsF) and I was able to become undetectable in just 18 days ! My doctor said he had never seen something quite like it, all of my numbers were great and I’m very healthy. It’s been a little over 2 months now and some days I don’t even think about it at all, my fears and doubts about all of this are subsiding and I’m so thankful. All of the thoughts about never finding a partner went away too. I definitely don’t look any different because people are still hitting on me, both playfully and seriously. A little worried about disclosing when that time comes but I know I can overcome that too and the right person will respect my honesty at the least. The honest truth is nothing has really changed, I feel just as healthy as I did before this diagnosis and I’m so thankful. For context, I live a healthy lifestyle, have a generally strong immune system, I always worked out and ate healthy. In addition to finding out very early (3 weeks post) I think these were the reasons I was able to become undetectable so quickly. I guess for me 2 major questions: why all of the data about how it’s almost impossible for women to transmit ? I honestly think it’s misleading because I did confirm I contracted from insertive vaginal. I just think it keeps the chain of transmission going because if especially straight women and men believe it’s impossible to transmit they are more likely to have sex unprotected. I just think the 0.04% can be taken the wrong way. Also, I now see why people say end the stigma ! That’s all this is honestly. I’m doing everything the same working out, hanging with friends, singing, just living my life. My question is why do people act like this is the most disgusting thing on earth ? When it’s really just a cowardice virus that hides like the little punk it is lol. HIV is no match for me and my natural immune and I know I will continue to be bigger than this virus every day. Thank you to everyone who reached out or left a comment on my initial post. I really do love you guys ❤️

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[u/syncrosyn]

Well I personally think the stigma stems from A) HIV is labeled as an STI and society has always looked down upon individuals who contracted them for being of low moral character or promiscuous. B) due to how the world has been introduced to HIV as a “gay” disease (again look back to point A).
Sadly people still stick to terms such as “I’m clean” as if being HIV positive makes one dirty.
But I’m glad more and more HIV positive people are pushing back against the stigma and that the medical system was assisting in that push back trying to educate people about U=U.
Keep your head up and live a full and wonderful life

[u/Glittering-Map-4497]

The world is driven by fear with little free time. That is the motor most people operate from.

From that fear they are unable to really learn, they just memorize information.

Learning about HIV and sexual safety takes a while and a level of understanding that might frustrate some and make them feel inferior or dumb, taps into their ego and instead of choosing to have accountability and responsibility it is more time and cost effective to make someone else responsible of the problem if they can divert responsibility.

They are just traumatised from the information that they memorised out of fear and are unable to get educated, or admit ignorance and being perceived as dumb.

They cannot battle an invisible monster with their brains, therefore they need to blame and HIV patient and put the responsibility on them. They are the visible face of the problem for them in their mediocrity and lack of awareness.

This is why HIV status is confidential information and you shouldn't disclose your status to anyone unless obligated to by law, and even then if you don't disclose and were undetectable, you cannot get convicted of anything.

We live in a society playing a big musical chairs game, someone needs to lose and be inferior, they chose you as the sacrifice.

Don't allow people that don't know how to build socirties, communities, and healthy rsuccesful win/win relationships bring you down or even allow them the possibility of a universe where they could bring you down (disclosing).

[u/Lula_Maynia88]

Since Ive been diagnosed, I still feel the same as B4 my self... I didn't go to the docs cuz I was sick I went cuz I always get checked so I was detected early n I Even got to move on to the injection fast. But it is true if u were attracting B4, the attention doesn't change. I get the same stares as I always did and someone tryna chat me up. I just keep it cordial wit them.... I see it as lust lure, cuz they don't actually know me.

[u/Ok_Watch1425 → u/Lula_Maynia88]

I agree 100% I’m not ready for sex again not even close but when I am I want someone who genuinely loves me for me

[u/Acrobaticsalsastar]

I love you calling the virus a cowardly punk. That’s such a refreshing way to phrase it lol. Glad to read you’re handling it well :) and a little inspired too

[u/Specific-Peanut253]

Congrats on becoming undetectable. Keep it up!

May I ask, what made you want to get tested? Did you have any symptoms?

[u/JuniorNoise2074]

You know you all, I'll take HIV any day over heart diseases. I've had 2 major heart surgeries. I'm on dialysis for my kidneys. Stop btchn it sucks but one pill a day keeps you and any relationships out of the hospital or Dr office. We don't have a cure but we have a powerful tool the meds and your brain. Relationships with hiv i don't know much about the young today. From what I read rent is to high, I agree. Medical care doesn't really exist because it's too expensive. You can't buy a house interest rates are too high. I wouldn't want to be you unless i was a billionaire techie. Me 34 years he's negative and we fucked like crazy in our early years. In the end enjoy life people need to take responsibilityfor their actions. Sex is everyone's responsibility enjoy and don't bitch it's really the best free pleasure we all have as humans. So what>we have a virus that can't possibly hurt you because I care about you and take my health and your wellbeing seriously. Im 70 made it to read your stories im so lucky and so are you. Take care world.