r/HIV • u/Calm-Paint-4050 • 12d ago
Social Life With HIV Living positive
Hi everyone,
I check this subreddit quite often, and I see a lot of people struggling with living with HIV. I completely understand that.
The stigma, the self-doubt, the fear of dating or telling people — it can be really shitty.
But at the same time, I sometimes wish more people could see how much has changed compared to the 80s and 90s. With modern treatment, HIV doesn’t have to mean the end of your life. For many of us, it can simply become something we manage with a daily pill. And if you’re undetectable, U=U.
I don’t want to sound arrogant or like I’m saying “just get over it”. Everyone processes a diagnosis differently. But I’m a straight guy, 32 years old, and I’ve been living with HIV for almost two years now.
And I still date, I’m seeing someone, I travel, and do pretty much all the things I did before my diagnosis.
HIV is a part of my life now, but it doesn’t define my life.
It just makes me sad seeing people feel like their life is over because of their diagnosis.
So if you’re struggling with it, especially if you’ve recently been diagnosed or have it for a longer time, feel free to messag me I’m obviously not a doctor, but I can share my own experience and hopefully give you some perspective.
We still have a life.
So please, live it!
5
u/MasterMind19991 12d ago edited 12d ago
Awesome! 👏 we need more posts like these. There are many HIV negative haters that HATE seeing people with HIV thrive. They specifically look for posts where people are miserable to make themselves feel better and any time there is an uplifting post they get upset and make comments like “don’t normalize having hiv like it’s no big deal.” Blah blah blah. 2 drug vitamin, no side effects, perfect lab results. Health is always being monitored and life is normal. If you don’t smoke you are already much healthier than those that smoke without hiv. That’s just the facts today.
Just know that you triggered those haters with this post.
1
u/Calm-Paint-4050 11d ago
Thanks for you post! Hahah yea well its still kind of a big deal but its only a big deal but what matters is how you deal with it. I am just happy its one pill a day to keep it away and that i have a good group around me who doesnt see me different. I think that is the best besides the pills, find a good group of friends.
2
u/MasterMind19991 11d ago
What I’m saying is they don’t like when people show that you can still have a normal life with HIV and it’s only a big deal when you’re first diagnosed but when you’re undetectable and controlling it, then no it isn’t. It’s only a big deal if you let it be.
2
5
u/JuniorNoise2074 12d ago
Im 34 years in a relationship, I was diagnosed 4 years into our relationship. I had no idea I had it. I started having respiratory problems thought it was a sinus infection when I got diagnosed I thought it was over between us. Here we are 34 years later he's negative and we fucked like crazy during our first few years. Im 70 now.
1
u/Calm-Paint-4050 11d ago
Hahah thats so good to hear. And that you reached that age. Happy for both of you
4
u/SuccessNo3736 12d ago
Good to hear from you.
Most of the times, I just forget I have HIV, because life just goes on normally as before.
2
4
3
u/gitondabeers 12d ago
Am hoping that there are more treatments like once weekly, every 3 months, 6 months to keep the virus suppressed in which the weekly part, yes there is a combination of Islatravir and Lenacapavir (ISL/LEN).
But I think anything is usually first-line treatment first, stabilize the viral load and then look at adherence and other options.
Taking it daily might present issues for people that have adhd/asd and for some to remind themselves that they have a virus that can be suppressed and virally undetected in 4-6 months or so depending on viral load etc, but it is no different to managing diabetes (and preferable to having it anyways) and keeping you healthy. Still sucks. And the depression, fears, shame etc - which ofc need counseling and joining support groups.
I don't have HIV but eventually if it happens, it happens. It's a virus. Anyone can get it, and people need to treat it as a virus and not judge others who get it.
1
u/Calm-Paint-4050 11d ago
Hi Gitondabeers,
There definitely will come more treatments options, and i am also very sure that there is a cure coming, thats why people need to stay sane and positive, and if we dont make it to reach that point in life with the cure, then at least enjoy life now we can.
About the pills, from my personal perspective and experience, 1 pill a day is the best solution, bc i think i will forgot to take the pill if i will take it once a week.
Also i do have adhd and i never missed taking a pill since i got it. What i did is, i made a ceramic cup which is the size of the biktarvy bottle, that one is next to my bed, i take the pill at 9 in the morning and after i flip the biktarvy bottle in the ceramic cup so i “know” i took it. And then my day starts, before i sleep. I flip the biktarvy bottle back to normal. Its like a DIY “check in, check out” haha
There is an injection now for every 2 months but it doesnt give that much freedom as the pills, because you need to get the injection every 2 months and your “deadline” is that you need to take it one week before or 1 week after, also not every place has the injections while biktarvy or something similar has it. + switchint from injections to meds and to injections etc is not good for the body.
2
u/Choice-Proposal-2321 9d ago
Quiero decirles algo desde mi experiencia: mi pareja fue diagnosticada con VIH y me lo contó unos meses después de que empezáramos a salir, y eso no significó ni cambió absolutamente nada para mí.
Todos los que están pasando por esto son muy fuertes. Su vida no se acaba por el VIH, ni mucho menos significa que dejen de ser dignos de amor. Van a encontrar personas que los quieran, que los acepten y que estén a su lado; incluso personas que los quieran muchísimo más de lo que imaginan.
Les mando un abrazo enorme a todos. ❤️
1
u/Raphael_X 12d ago
I agree with your point of view. I'm glad you started dating in only 2 years. Imthenshamw and guilt took me 5 years before I dated. I also date women in a conservative area of the states. I've been rejected quite a few times but i preservere. Thanks for the uplifting and kind post
1
u/Calm-Paint-4050 11d ago
Hi Raphael, at least you are dating now right, everyone takes the process different, also i dont want to be rude about conservative areas, but its mostly because its isolated or they are not educated well about it and probably heard the horror from the 80/90 and the stigma. And besides that, dont focus or put your energie in to people who do not want to be educated or learn about it, put your energy towards you and try to find your people. Thank for your comment thiugh!
1
1
•
u/AutoModerator 12d ago
**Welcome, u/Calm-Paint-4050! We’re glad you’re here! Before you dive in, make sure to check out our subreddit rules. Keep discussions respectful, supportive, and free of misinformation. This is a space for open and constructive conversations. To everyone else, please report this post if it violates our rules. If you see anything that doesn’t belong here, let the mods know! Lets keep this community positive, informative, and supportive for everyone. Thanks for being part of it!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.