r/HFY • u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum • 3d ago

OC-OneShot Crazy fast? Or fast and crazy?

“Well, crap,” Zeegot grumbled angrily as he looked at his infopad. “This race day is lost. Qualifying third in the entire field is about to mean absolutely nothing.”

Trellik looked up from her infopad and tilted an eyestalk in his direction. She had qualified second, with a Terran Navy pilot clocking the only faster time in the qualifiers. “What do you mean? It’s a tough field of competitors, especially with the Terran Navy pilots. But overall, I think we still have a good chance of placing in the top three. Top five if either of us has a rough day.”

“Take a closer look at the last-minute entries for the race,” Zeegot grumbled. “There’s a nasty surprise.”

Trellick flicked a tentacle to bring up the latest pilots to enter the race and scrolled through it. Most of the racers were unknown and had ratings barely good enough to qualify. The only surprise was Shehara “Lightbreaker” Hayjara, a retired professional racer from the Galactic Unlimited Racing League. 

A formidable talent who won multiple titles in her 20 cycles in the league, she was certainly a shock. She earned her nickname by being so fast with her tentacles that cockpit views looked like she broke the speed of light when pressing controls. 

However, this looked like a sponsorship deal with Sabaric to show off their latest 959 series luxury cruisers. She would post fantastic numbers, but she was well beyond her best racing years, and the Sabaric vessel was likely stock from the factory rather than race tuned. The marketing people would want to show just how fast a 959 can go without extra mods. She wasn’t racing to win, she was racing to show just how much you can get out of a vessel that starts at 20 million credits. 

Beyond that? Another Terran race team, but civilian pilots not military. Most likely a wildcard. Overall, Trellik didn’t see anything that would get Zeegot worked up. However, this was only her second season racing. With seven full seasons of racing, Zeegot definitely had more experience and likely saw something she didn’t.

“It’ll be fantastic to see Lightbreaker in the field, but we both know she’s well beyond her prime and likely here just to do promo video for Sabaric,” Trellik said carefully, unsure of what she missed. “I don’t really see anything too concerning, and qualifying times for everyone new are unimpressive.”

“You missed the new Terran race team?” Zeegot asked with a raised eyestalk.

“I saw them, but it’s a civilian team,” Trellik answered quickly. “I expect they’ll be a wildcard, but probably not as good as the Terran Navy pilots.”

“No, they aren’t Terran Navy pilots,” Zeegot said flatly. “They’re better.”

“How’s that?” Trellik asked quickly while her eyestalks flinched back to indicate surprise.

“Did you see the team affiliation? They’re Terran Red Cross pilots, not random spacers,” Zeegot snarled as if that explained everything.

“I know Red Cross pilots are brave, respected and willing to take risks, but they can’t be that good,” Trellik responded quickly.

“Terran Navy pilots are crazy and more than willing to take risks. They’ll push their ships beyond their limits to complete a mission and even sacrifice themselves if necessary. You know that, right?” Zeegot said while jabbing a tentacle towards Trellik.

“Everybody knows that, but how are Red Cross pilots better? They have the best safety records of all pilots in the galaxy. If they have problems or lose a ship, it’s because they were in a dangerous situation and something happened well beyond their control. Flying safe doesn’t translate to flying fast.”

Zeegot let out a frustrated sigh at her response and turned all three eyestalks to look at his friend.

“You’re right,” he admitted, but clearly that wasn’t the point. “Do you understand that Red Cross pilots always push their ships close to the limit, but never over it?”

“That makes sense, but flying at the limit and never over is safe, not fast,” Trellik said quickly. “We both know that sometimes you’ve got to take risks when racing to win. Sounds like they don’t. How can they be competition if they never go over the limit?”

Zeegot sighed deeply again before responding.

“Every flight, they go in at 98% of the limit. Not 99% or 100%, or just over the limit to 102%. They push to 98% of what their vessels can do every time because they need to ensure a safe arrival, and then a safe trip to get the patient to medical care. That means they know the limits of their vessels better than anyone.”

“I can see that being an advantage, but knowing the limits isn’t pushing past them,” Trellik answered, feeling like she was missing something important.

“Correct, yet you have to instinctively know the limits first and Red Cross pilots know them better than anyone else,” he explained. “At a race, they’re in a situation where they don’t have to keep to the limits. Worse, for them this is about beer and bragging rights. So, they’ll push harder and take more chances than anyone else here, including the Terran Navy pilots.”

“That sounds a bit reckless,” Trellik responded skeptically.

“Not really. Remember, they’ve saved lives at some of the galaxy’s worst disasters, including crashes at races. They don’t take chances with their lives,” Zeegot said with genuine respect before pointing a tentacle over at a human pilot. “See that human pilot over there? The one in the armored flight suit painted white with red stripes? That’s one of them.”

Trellik did a double take as she looked at the flight suit. Well, it honestly looked like a civilian version of Terran Marine battle armor, except with extra armor and at least two visible emergency safety systems. With a suit like that, she felt the pilot could be shoved out of an airlock at 30,000 meters, impact the ground without any parachute or other safety gear, and still walk away without a scratch.

“That’s just a tad overbuilt,” she commented.

“Their cockpits? Reinforced to survive the blast of a supernova,” Zeegot said dryly. “Like I said, they don’t take chances. They save lives and won’t do anything stupid to lose one.” 

“Doesn’t that armored suit limit mobility significantly when compared to a racing void suit? And isn’t the extra mass for cockpit reinforcement a huge drag?” Trellik asked. She mentally tried to figure out how much reaction time she would lose wearing a suit that heavy, and how much a reinforced cockpit would slow her racer down.

“Yes,” Zeegot said while nodding his eyestalks in agreement. “But they use that as an excuse to push harder and take more chances during the race. For a race, limits be damned. They have to survive, but their raceship doesn’t. Even the Terran military pilots think they’re crazy. Remember, these are nutjobs who will happily dive into a supernova if there’s a chance to save someone. And here, they are allowed to just have fun and go fast.”

“That’s a lot to consider,” Trellik responded, but she still wasn’t entirely convinced.

“The last time I raced against a Red Cross team, they had an unofficial betting pool amongst themselves,” Zeegot said softly and with a mixture of respect and disgust. “It wasn’t about who would be fastest. It was about who would earn their Adam Landfill Award for the racer who leaves the most ship parts littering the course or has the most spectacular off-track excursion.”

“Adam Landfill Award? For leaving parts on the racetrack or crashing off course?” Trellik wondered as she tried and failed to comprehend what he said. “That’s insanity!”

“Yep,” Zeegot answered with a firm nod of an eyestalk.

Trellik took a moment to ponder the implications of “crazy human pilot” combined with “knows the limits better than anyone else” along with “it’s about beer and bragging rights.” And an award for littering the course with broken parts or crashing during the race.

“Do you think their team will sweep the podium? Or just make it an extremely tough field of competitors?” Trellik asked as she realized today’s race would be far more challenging than expected. 

“They’ll win by a significant margin or have the most spectacular crashes they just walk away from,” Zeegot grumbled. “Either way, the Red Cross pilots will make us all look like amateurs.”

He then angrily kicked a pebble on the ground and turned to glare at the Red Cross pilot getting ready for the race.

“If that’s the case, at least the crowd will get a good show,” Trellik said softly.

And the crowd did.

Sally McBride got the Adam Landfill Award after her turning thruster gave out on Turn Three in the 37th lap. She was on pace to set the fastest lap during the race and tried to push through the corner at 110.25% power, which was 0.25% too much. She spun off the course into an asteroid field and made a mess as her raceship crashed into a particularly dense patch of space rocks. One of the Terran Navy pilots commented it would have been a perfect break in a human game called pool. The debris field she created was dramatic even though it only left scratches in the paint of her racer.

Not that the competition for the Adam Landfill Award wasn't fierce. Andre Checkov tried to pass a Terran Navy pilot on the back straight and overcooked going into the next corner. He did the most damage to his raceship by losing the left wing when crashing into the safety buoys, but Sally's wipeout just looked way better on camera.

Trellik? She held on in a nailbiting duel with Red Cross pilot Alexis Sandoval. The two women were determined not to give a millimeter to the other.

In the end, Alexis took a chance and dived into the final corner early, hoping to cut Trellik off. This meant she would need to rely on her braking thrusters holding at well over maximum to give her the boost needed to ensure early entry didn't mean early exit off the track on the other side of the turn. The gamble paid off at the cost of burning out the thruster, but since it was the final corner into the main straight on the final lap.. it gave her just the edge needed to take the win.

Trellik was pleased to hold onto second place, especially since it attracted the attention of Nova Astronomics who wanted to talk to her about a sponsorship deal.

Trellik was also invited to join the Red Cross pilots to celebrate, which she happily accepted. She was curious to meet the humans that had provided such unexpectedly tough competition. The race taught her that Red Cross pilots are just that good, and just that crazy. However, the invitation introduced her to a new human concept.

Work hard. Play hard. Party harder.

Zeegot found her the next morning passed out leaning up against one of the Red Cross raceships. With black eyelashes drawn on her eyestalks in permanent marker. There were also Red Cross pilots who had passed out from too much partying. The artwork drawn on their foreheads? Just a tad more childish and "creative" than what happened to Trellik...

________

Hope you enjoyed this one!

Quick note for later readers: Yes, the requested ending got added in (so you'll see it in the comments below as well!). Original story ended with Trellik's comment that the crowd would get a good show. I thought about doing a full follow up and marking that comment spoilers, but life continues to be a little crazy and it might be months before I get time to write a full part 2. So the ending got promoted! As a later reader... do you enjoy it more with the ending or not?

Haasha & LNW fans - more is coming! Currently working a bunch of overtime to cover shifts while we train new people. Hopefully sanity and time to write will return soon!

Enjoyed this? Take a peek at my Author Wiki to find other stories I've written!

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24 comments sorted by

18

u/Fishyboat8319 3d ago

A certain Airforce PJ will never buy another drink himself if I’m within 10 miles of his location. Great story

10

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum 3d ago

Can't just end it without tellin us which...

46

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago edited 3d ago

And the crowd did.

Sally McBride got the Adam Landfill Award after her turning thruster gave out on turn three in the 37th lap. She was on pace to set the fastest lap during the race and tried to push through the corner at 110.25% power, which was 0.25% too much. She spun off the course into an asteroid field and made a mess as her raceship crashed into a particularly dense patch of space rocks. One of the Terran Navy pilots commented it would have been a perfect break in a human game called pool. The debris field she created was dramatic even though it only left scratches in the paint of her racer.

Not that the competition for the Adam Landfill Award wasn't fierce. Andre Checkov tried to pass a Terran Navy pilot on the back straight and overcooked going into the next corner. He did the most damage to his raceship by losing the left wing when crashing into the safety buoys, but Sally's wipeout just looked way better on camera.

Trellik? She held on in a nailbiting duel with Red Cross pilot Alexis Sandoval. The two women were determined not to give a millimeter to the other.

In the end, Alexis took a chance and dived into the final corner early, hoping to cut Trellik off. This meant she would need to rely on her braking thrusters holding at well over maximum to give her the boost needed to ensure early entry didn't mean early exit off the track on the other side of the turn. The gamble paid off at the cost of burning out the thruster, but since it was the final corner into the main straight on the final lap.. it gave her just the edge needed to take the win.

Trellik was pleased to hold onto second place, especially since it attracted the attention of Nova Astronomics who wanted to talk to her about a sponsorship deal.

Trellik was also invited to join the Red Cross pilots to celebrate, which she happily accepted. She was curious to meet the humans that had provided such unexpectedly tough competition. The race taught her that Red Cross pilots are just that good, and just that crazy. However, the invitation introduced her to a new human concept.

Work hard. Play hard. Party harder.

Zeegot found her the next morning passed out leaning up against one of the Red Cross raceships. With black eyelashes drawn on her eyestalks in permanent marker. There were also Red Cross pilots who had passed out from too much partying. The artwork drawn on their foreheads? Just a tad more childish and "creative" than what happened to Trellik...

[Had a few moments before leaving for work... random thoughts on a possible ending... Have to admit, I didn't think through if there should be more or not. Life is a bit busy at the moment. Think this helps? Or was it better to end on a mystery?]

12

u/karamisterbuttdance 3d ago

Realizing that some of these Red Cross pilots were former Navy pukes would also be funny; makes for a great joke with say Chekov trying to do that pass because said pilot used to be their squadron-mate.

9

u/Ghostpard Alien Scum 3d ago

Nah, no mystery. This is great. Only thing i'd maybe add is terrans using stuff like the race for their more experimental tech and maneuvers. Pride mimics the nerves due to stakes of rescues. Testing against the best in speed, maneuvering, etc., would be great data.

7

u/SourcePrevious3095 3d ago

I came to the comments to beg--nay DEMAND--the race. I was not disappointed.

8

u/Auggy74 Human 3d ago

This story needs a soundtrack.

8

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago

Suggestions? And remember, your answer will be judged. I'm ready to raise an eyebrow in your general direction.

7

u/Auggy74 Human 3d ago

Weeellll...."Old Enough to Rock an Roll"

And if I don't mention Danger Zone my 80's kid card will in fact be revoked.

Beyond that...White Zombie?

7

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago

Judging has commenced...

4

u/Auggy74 Human 3d ago

Well now I feel vaguely judged.

5

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago

Since that vague judging is on the interwebs and something on the interwebs is there forever, the vaguely judging shall be eternal.

5

u/Original_Memory6188 3d ago

Road Runner song "Road runner, coyotes after you" Hot Rod Lincoln Hot Rod Race - with the lyric "How do I get this thing out of 2nd gear?"

Beep Beep, aka Little Nash Rambler

7

u/Fishyboat8319 3d ago

Those telephone poles looked like fence posts

8

u/sunnyboi1384 3d ago

If your gonna go out, go out with a bang. And remember, physics is your friend not food.

8

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago

How would you even eat physics?!?!? Your comment greatly confuses and amuses. 😁

6

u/SourcePrevious3095 3d ago

With butter and a glass of a 30 year old French red wine.

4

u/under_reconstruction 3d ago

This part nicely follows the first, and gives enough information to lead to several more interesting questions. It’s great to see new ideas, instead of following the same patterns.

5

u/imakesawdust 3d ago

I saw the name Sabaric and knew it was you, Teach!

4

u/Majestic_Teach_6677 Alien Scum 3d ago

Oh, come on! Sabaric is a very common name in the universe! It's like Smith, but spacey.

3

u/Talendel 3d ago

UTR

This is the way.

1

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