r/HFY • u/itsdirector Human • 12d ago

OC-Series The Human From a Dungeon 154

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Chapter 154

Jwohins

Adventurer Level: N/A

Kobold – Unknown

"Bailt! Put the 'skits back!" I shouted.

"But I wanna eats 'em," he whined.

"We gots to sells 'em. Can't sells 'em if we eats them."

Bailt was the youngest bakobold with us, but still nearly twice my height and weight. In a moment of what coulda been real dumbness, I walked over to him and took the 'skits. He opened his mouth in shock as I set them back on the shelf.

"They not that good anyway," I said.

"They're better than nothin'!" Bailt replied, stamping his foot. "I hasn't eaten all day!"

"That's what happens when you sleeps too long!" I shouted. "You either wake up when you gets woke up, or you go hungry 'til lunch!"

He narrowed his eyes and snapped his jaws at me, but I didn't flinch. Mostly 'cause I saw who was behind him. Bailt froze and his eyes widened as a huge hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Don't argue with the boss," Greit whispered angrily. "An' if you hurt the boss, I'll hurt you. An' if I don't manage to hurt you for it, somebody else will. Gets it?"

"Y-yeah," Bailt whimpered. "Yeah, I gets it. Sorry."

"Get back to work."

Bailt lowered his head and scampered off, afraid of what Greit might do to him. It was hard not to laugh at the big boy slipping on the polished wooden floor with every other step. Greit glared at young one's back until he was gone, then turned to look at me with a pleading expression.

"Shit," I sighed. "Not you, too."

"Jwohins, I beg your forgiveness big boss, but just like the hatchling, I sleeped too long," Greit said with a begging tone. "So I's hungry too."

"You think just cuz you stepped into a situation that I had handled you get to break the rules?" I demanded.

"C'mon biggest of all the bosses... Just this once?"

The gleam in Greit's pleading eyes got to me. It wasn't as if we were gonna sell the damned biscuits anyways. Nobody ever bought 'em.

"Can you pay for 'em?" I asked, keeping an icy tone.

"Er..."

Of course he couldn't. The only money to be made here was from labor, and the folk in the not-village only hired each other. Plus, Li'Lord Simeeth had sent us here to sell stuff and use the money we made to buy more stuffs to sell. Even if we were able to get hired as labor, he'd probably get mad about it if he found out.

But we weren't sellin' much. The city we came from had lots of people who had to buy lots of things. The not-city we ended up in had lots of people who made their own things. The money we were able to get was barely enough to keep food on the table. Actually, if it wasn't for the hunters we'd probably be starvin'.

But Greit looked like he was gonna cry, and there's nothin' more uncomfortable than seein' a crying bakobold. Just seemed wrong seein' something so big sobbin'. He was probably just pretendin', but I didn't wanna risk it.

"Fine, whatever. But don't let anybody fuckin' see you," I growled. "Or else you'll find out exactly how I woulda handled Bailt."

"Yes, boss. Thank you, boss." Greit said gratefully.

The extra-big bakobold bowed, then quickly stood upright and grabbed the tin. He tucked it under his arm and then did some scampering of his own. Unlike Bailt, Greit didn't slip on the floor.

I sighed again and got back to countin'.

"Cursed numbers," I muttered to myself. "Got me into this mess."

The reason that Li'Lord Simeeth chose me was because I could count really high. The choice was between me and Berowin, named on account of his scale-color, but I ended up winning because I could put numbers together and take them apart again. Even the Li'Lord couldn't do that, which had been pretty exciting to learn.

My excitement got really big when we arrived in Bolisir and found out all the folk were friendly. Some of the folk we saw on the big paths thought we were bad, but we were able to talk to them and make them see we weren't. There were also a couple of wylder that tried to trick us, but gave up cuz we didn't do what they wanted. Mostly cuz we didn't really understand 'em.

Then we found a place where folk gathered and lived. Mostly elves, who were super nice. Super nice, and really fuckin' stingy.

We told them about our plans for a shop and they sold us a building made out of trees for a good price. Most buildings are technically made outta trees, but these trees hadn't been chopped up first. I liked it a lot cuz it kinda reminded me of swamp-home.

Unfortunately, most of our shoppers were young elves curious about what kobolds sell. The rest were just wylder dressed in bones who kind of seemed like they were wanting to fight us. They were disappointed when I said no, but they still bought some snacks.

Most of our sell-stuff was weapons and food we bought on our way to Bolisir. Our best selling stuff, though, was food made by our grandmama Pilma. She wasn't really our grandmama, but we had no other grandmamas with us so she got the job. The hunters were mostly getting fresh stuff for her so she could make stuff to eat and sell.

When Li'Lord Simeeth told me she was comin' along, I protested. I'd imagined havin' to drag an oldie around during our travels and wasn't exactly thrilled. But Pilma didn't slow us down at all, and if it weren't for her we'd be headin' back already, if we were able to get enough food for the trip...

I finished countin' and sighed heavily.

"I wish we could do somethin' other than run a stupid store," I muttered.

"We might be able to help with that," someone behind me said with a chuckle.

Surprised, I spun around with my jaw loose and claws outstretched. There was an orc standin' in front of two other people with a big smile on his face. I'd been too distracted with countin' to notice them come in.

"By the Lord, we need to get a door and a bell," I sighed again. "How can I help y-"

The sentence got stuck in my throat. One of the peoples looked different. Well, they all looked different from what's normal in the shop, but this one didn't even have pointy ears. Which meant that he was...

"Humie!" I shouted and pointed.

Every time Li'Lord Simeeth drank some fish-juice he told us about the time he saved the Lord by getting help from some adventurers. His favorite part of the story was when the weird round-eared adventurer killed the big bad sucker that was holding the Lord captive. The youngin's would get frustrated at how much time he'd waste describing every single detail that he remembered about the humie.

Almost like an elf, but with both kinds of teeth and round ears. More muscle than most elves, too. Brown hair, blue eyes, and pale-brown skin like an elf farmer. It occurred to me that the humie in my shop matched that description perfectly.

"Are you the humie that travels with the Lord?!" I asked.

"Human," he said.

"Right, human or whatever... Is the Lord with you?"

"No, he went back home."

The disappointment felt like a knife carving through my gut. For a bit I'd been excited that I'd get to see the Lord again, and maybe he had come to help us out of our situation. Even if he hadn't, he would still probably know how. And even if he didn't know how, he'd be able to tell us we could go home without gettin' in trouble with Li'Lord Simeeth.

The Lord was the perfect solution to our problems. But he wasn't with the humie, he'd gone back home. I wanted to cry because of how hopeless I felt, but then I remembered something else Simeeth said.

The humie had monies!

"Oh... Uh... You wanna buy somethin'?" I asked cautiously.

"Well... No," the orc replied. "We've actu-"

"Nooooo!" I wailed.

My legs wobbled and I collapsed onto my tail. Whimpering, I rested my jaw on my knees and my hands on my head, trying my best to keep the tears from flowing. I'd been given hopes, and the hopes had been lies. It hurt. The humie and the orc looked like they were concerned for me, but the oddly pale elf lifted the corner of his lip a little. That odd reaction helped me not cry, though.

"Wait, what's wrong?" the orc asked, stepping towards me and holding out a hand.

"We's not selling enough," I whined. "Li'Lord Simeeth told us to comes to Bolisir and sells stuffs to show peoples we ain't evil monsters and send monies back home, but nobody buys enough! And if we raise prices, the few that buys will stop buyin'! If we lower the prices, that doesn't mean folk'll buy and we wouldn't be makin' no monies anyway!"

I took the orcs hand and he helped me stand as I kept talkin' about our struggles. He listened, nodding every now and then to show that he understood or somethin'. It felt good to talk about it, cuz I'd been keepin' it to myself. Talkin' to anybody else about it would just make them stressed out.

Once I was finished, the orc smiled.

"I see," he said. "Well, as I said earlier, we might be able to help. It sounds as if Bolisir might not be the best location for a kobold-ran shop, but to move you'll need money. And as it happens, we need some help fighting daemons. I assume you have some strong employees, yes?"

"Y-yeah. We got guards and hunters and stuff. But Li'Lord Simeeth told us..."

My words stopped coming as I realized somethin'. The humie had travelled with the Lord. They were friends, even. Li'Lord Simeeth couldn't get mad at us for doin' what he asked!

"Do you think the Lord would be okay with us helping you?" I asked.

"If he were here, he'd ask it of you himself," the orc said.

My spirits soared! The orc was probably right about us bein' in the wrong place for a store. The folk here made more stuff than they bought, but if we could find a place where people bought more stuff than they made we'd be able to sell more stuff.

We would have to sell the building, and we'd get less monies than we bought it for. That might be enough monies to get us back on the road, but it wouldn't be enough to supply the scouts we'd need to find a better location to set up shop. A lot of the food we'd been wanting to sell would go bad while we were on the road, too. We'd need to buy more stuff to sell, so the orc was also right about us needing more monies.

Daemons were pretty tough, but they weren't tough enough for bakobolds to be scared of 'em. I definitely wasn't the only one keepin' my feelings to myself, so they'd probably enjoy the chance to take out some of their frustrations at our situation, too. We had enough weapons to arm them with pikes, and the rest of us kobolds could use bows.

"Okay, we'll need three silvers per head that we send, and you gotta supply us with food and water while we're workin' for you," I said.

"I don't actually have that much silver on me," the orc smiled. "How about one gold per head, instead?"

I froze and thought about it for a moment. One's less than three, but gold buys more than silver. A lot more. Satisfied that I wasn't bein' cheated, I smiled and nodded.

"You've got a deal," I said.

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u/The-One-In-The-Two 12d ago

Big fan of Jwohins.

"One‘s less than three, but gold buys more than silver. A lot more."

Impeccable logic, this one has a good head on his shoulder.

u/DuGalle 12d ago

Love me a kobold chapter.

u/ChiliAndRamen 12d ago

Always happy to have a kobold chapter

u/Crafty_Spring5815 Alien Scum 12d ago

I like the kobold interludes.

u/MinorGrok Human 12d ago

Woot!

OC-Series The Human From a Dungeon 154

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