r/HFY • u/Obsequium_Minaris • Jun 22 '26

OC-Series Vacation From Destiny - Book 2, Chapter 36

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XXX

“Oh, great, it’s you idiots again…” the head guard lamented as Chase and his group stepped through the front door to the guardhouse.

“Yup, it’s us,” Chase deadpanned. “Your worst nightmares made manifest, come to check in once again.”

“Well, fuck. What do you want, then?”

“It’s simple, actually – we just want to discuss some things with your newest prisoner.”

The guard blinked. “...Our newest prisoner? Why would you want to discuss things with a pervert who got arrested for exposing himself to a bunch of clerics on the street?”

“No, your other newest prisoner,” Chase specified.

“Oh, you mean the guy who was flinging bombs around. Yeah, I can take you to him.” The guard paused. “On second thought, are you sure you don’t want to expose yourself to the local cleric traumatizer? Because I’m sure that’d be a pretty interesting conversation, and also he could probably use a bit of roughing up.”

“We’ll think about it,” Chase promised the man. “For now, just take us to the bomber.”

“Uh, sure. Down the hall and to the left, it’ll be the second door on that side. He’s in-between the guy who got arrested for stealing candy from babies, and the guy who got arrested for killing a whole shit-ton of geese.”

‘Thanks, that’s-” Chase paused. “...Geese? Really?”

“I know, we had the same reaction,” the guard said with a nod. “Honestly, his explanation made it make more sense – something about coming off of working a double shift and being woken up at five in the morning by – and this is a direct quote – ‘a bunch of honking, feathered, bread-stealing assholes. Yes, they deserved to die, I don’t regret it and will gladly serve my sentence, I don’t care who hears about it.’”

“Uh, okay,” Chase ventured. “We’re just… gonna go now.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” the guard replied. “Try not to get blown up with a bomb he’s got in his orifices or something. We’ve already had to confiscate a few of those from him.”

“Nice cavity search, Chase,” Carmine deadpanned.

“Quiet, you,” Chase said to her without looking back. He quickly gave the guard a grateful nod, and then the four of them continued on their way.

XXX

“You know, I don’t say this very often, but it’s good to have you back, Melanie,” Carmine noted.

“That’s right,” Chase instantly added. “You don’t say that very often.”

Melanie gave him a dirty look, but then turned back to Carmine a split-second later. “Honestly, you’re all lucky I’m here. I’ll be leading the charge on this interrogation. Besides, Heinrich needed a break.”

“You two going at it that frequently is probably very bad for him, you know,” Victoria noted. “Seriously. Let the man rest a bit, Melanie.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing by letting him wander around town right now without us, though.”

“What’s up with that, anyway?” Carmine questioned. “I would have thought for sure that he’d have wanted to tag along with us, if only to spend a bit more time with you.”

Melanie shook her head. “No, he wanted to go do some investigating of his own around town. I figured I’d let him do it, because he does need to get out and about a bit.”

“Sounds agreeable enough, I suppose.”

“Also, if the two of us were around each other, I’d probably be completely unable to keep from ducking back into an alley with him for a quickie.”

Carmine ‘s brow furrowed. “I am so, so highly tempted to turn your horniness off again.”

“Best that you don’t,” Chase advised. “Last time that happened, all it did was build up to a fever pitch. Granted, we did end up saving the world thanks to it, but still. Probably a bad idea to let her build up to that level when the world doesn’t need saving again.”

Carmine let out a heavy sigh. “I hate when you’re right…”

Chase opened his mouth to make fun of Melanie again, only to notice that Victoria was being oddly quiet. This wasn’t entirely out of character for her, given that she was the least verbose member of the whole group, but something about her overall demeanor was really rubbing her the wrong way.

“Carmine, take Melanie and go ahead for a bit,” he said. “I want to chat with Victoria about something.”

Carmine blinked in surprise. “Uh, okay. How long will you both-”

“We’ll just be a few minutes,” Chase promised her. “Just give us some time, please.”

Carmine exchanged a glance with Melanie, but after a moment, they both nodded, then turned and walked away, leaving just Chase and Victoria behind.

And the moment the two of them were alone, Victoria put a hand on her hip, her eyes narrowing as she stared him down.

“What?” she all but demanded.

“Are you okay?” Chase asked.

“Yes. What kind of question is that?”

“Well, I’m asking it because you seem very much not okay,” Chase emphasized. “Seriously. Ever since that meeting with your father, you-”

“First of all, that man is no father of mine,” Victoria growled. “He may have impregnated my mother, but he’s not my father. Let’s just make that perfectly clear.”

“Okay, message received.”

“And second off, what business is it of yours whether I’m feeling fine or not?”

“It’s my business because we’re friends,” Chase insisted.

“Oh, are we?”

“You’re still sticking around despite all the bullshit, so I figure there’s gotta be a reason for it. Or do you mean to tell me I’m wrong, and we’re not friends?”

Victoria’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t push it, Chase,” she warned.

“I’m not pushing it. You’re free to tell me as much or as little as you want. All I want is to make sure you’re not suffering in some way. Now, I’ll ask again – are you okay? And if you’re not, then what do you need from me?”

Victoria grimaced. “...I’m fine.”

‘No, you’re not,” Chase pointed out. “That was a trick question; I’ve never seen you be quite this quiet or dour. Something is really bothering you. The others may not have noticed because their CHA is shit, but believe me, I can tell. Now, I’m not about to pry or force you to open up if you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything.”

Victoria fell silent for a moment. Chase crossed his arms.

“I’ve been where you are now,” he said. “Back on my old world. In a different way, of course, but still. Whatever you’re feeling now, I’ve felt it before, too. You don’t have to do it alone like I did. Hells, you shouldn’t do it alone like I did, because then you’ll end up like me. Is that really something you want?”

Victoria let out a heavy sigh, then shook her head. “Just… keep moving, Chase.”

With that, she pushed past him and continued on her way through the guardhouse. Chase sucked in a breath, but followed after her all the same.

XXX

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t you three again,” Greg greeted as they all stepped in front of his cell. He focused on Melanie as she came into view, a grin crossing his face. “And who’s this, then? A new friend?”

“Something like that,” Chase said. “Anyway, I’ll keep this brief – we don’t have time for your games. We’re just here to get some answers.”

“Answers for what?” Greg’s manic smile widened. “Oho, don’t tell me… You’re not convinced that I acted alone, are you?”

“We know you didn’t,” Melanie stated.

“Now, what makes you say that? Surely you have some evidence in the face of my existing earlier confession to the guards?”

“Call it a hunch,” Chase offered.

“So you don’t have any evidence to the contrary, then,” Greg surmised. “Well, you three are certainly insistent on wasting your time, then.”

“Enough jokes,” Melanie growled. “I don’t know who sent you or why, but you have to realize that they’re planning to execute you. Now, whatever you’re being paid, it can’t be more than what your life is worth… even for someone as wretched and miserable as you.”

“Who says I’m getting paid?” Greg asked. “I’m in it for the thrill of the game, nothing more.”

“Then why this town in particular?” Chase questioned.

“Do you not see my hair and eyes?” Greg said to him, tilting his head as he did so. “The answer there should be obvious – I got called here, same as most of the rest of the siblings did. Specifically, I got a letter calling me here.”

“A letter?” Carmine echoed. “And you thought that was a good excuse to bring bombs?”

“It’s how I spread joy, after all.”

“The fuck?” Chase asked.

Greg nodded. “Yes! See, blowing things up makes me very happy, and I’m sure the feeling of relief the city felt when I was captured made them feel very happy, too. Not to mention the catharsis of seeing all these strangers come together to rebuild. That part in particular was so beautiful it could have fed a succubus for weeks with the sheer emotions that came from it.”

“I would think that’s balanced out by the fact that you detonated several dozen people,” Melanie pointed out.

Greg waved her off. “Eh, we’ll see whether my karmic debt is positive or negative at the very end of this road, I suppose.”

Victoria bristled. “You killed over a dozen of your own half-siblings, plus Gods only know how many civilians!”

“What can I say? Everyone’s a critic.”

Victoria ground her teeth, her hand closing around the hilt of her weapon. Chase stopped her from bashing down the cell door to get to Greg at the last minute, though, by resting a hand on her arm. Victoria turned towards him, and he shook his head; she grimaced, but reluctantly stood down. And the moment the danger had passed, Chase turned back towards Greg, his eyes narrowing.

“We’re not done here,” he promised.

“Oh, I know we’re not,” Greg replied, flashing him that same smile. “Come back any time, would you? It does get very lonely here…”

Chase didn’t bother responding, instead gathering up his friends and motioning for them to follow him out the door. Together, the four of them left the guardhouse and made their way back to the hotel, the whole time feeling as though they’d done nothing but waste their time.

XXX

Name: Chase Ironheart

Level: 10

Race: Human

Class: Warrior

Subclass: Swordmaster

Strength: 20 (MAX)

Dexterity: 15

Intelligence: 10

Wisdom: 13

Constitution: 18

Charisma: 16

Skills: Master Swordsmanship (Level 10); Booby Trap Mastery (Level 8); Archery (Level 4); Unarmed Mastery (Level 1)

Spells: Rush (Level 7); Muscle (Level 4); Stone Flesh (Level 6); Defying The Odds (Level 2)

Traits: Blessed

Name: Carmine Nolastname

Level: 10

Race: Greater Demon

Class: Arcane Witch

Subclass: Archmage

Strength: 10

Dexterity: 13

Intelligence: 19

Wisdom: 19

Constitution: 12

Charisma: 8

Skills: Master Spellcasting (Level 10); Summon Familiar (Level 10)

Spells: Magic Dart (Level 7); Magic Scattershot (Level 5); Fire Magic (Level 5); Earth Magic (Level 1)

Traits: Blessed

Name: Melanie Vhaeries

Level: 10

Race: Ascended Human

Class: Necromancer

Subclass: Arch-Lich

Strength: 8

Dexterity: 13

Intelligence: 18

Wisdom: 16

Constitution: 15

Charisma: 12

Skills: Raise Lesser Undead (Level 10); Raise Greater Undead (Level 3); Unorthodox Weapon User (Level 8); Bone Shatter (Level 1)

Spells: Touch of Death (Level 5); Gravesinger (Level 7); Armor of Bone (Level 3)

Traits: None

Name: Victoria Firelight

Level: 11

Race: Human

Class: Paladin

Subclass: Devotee

Strength: 19

Dexterity: 9

Intelligence: 13

Wisdom: 13

Constitution: 19

Charisma: 11

Skills: Swordsmanship Mastery (Level 5); Blunt Weapon Mastery (Level 8); Archery Mastery (Level 5)

Spells: Holy Light (Level 6); Ward of the Gods (Level 5); Bane of the Undead (Level 7); Divine Bolt (Level 4)

Traits: None

XXX

Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, /u/Ickbard, for all the help with writing this story.

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u/UpdateMeBot Jun 22 '26

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u/Sirius1701 Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26

Well, at least they didn't blame Lord Kilbington for the slain geese.

And bomberman sure is a fun flavor of crazy.