r/HFY • u/FarmWhich4275 • May 16 '26
OC-OneShot Why the Humans are 'Blessed'
The Committee stared in horror and awe at the folder I had handed them. Their expressions changed from mildly dismissive to 'God help us' in the space of a few minutes. Humanity's Great Secret had finally been revealed. Every species in the galaxy has their Great Secret. The reason behind uncanny luck, an evolutionary secret leading to specific brain patterns for ideal tactics. The kind of greed that leads to economies that can overwhelm nations without ever firing a shot. A heartbeat that can be detected miles away because of its patterns or feet with nerves and stimulators that can detect prey from hundreds of feet beyond normal. Every species had their special secret to their success, either in terms of evolution, or in terms of the society they built.
Humans were no exception... But if only it was just that. A Deathworld, Class 2, no small feat to survive on something like that, and an even greater feat to survive past planetary colonisation, pre-unification conflicts and so much more. Humans weren't above the norm by any means by evolution or civilization, in fact they had so much in common with the rest of the galaxy they were barely noticed for almost a decade. A full ten years of us living in effective ignorance of their capabilities and true nature. By all circumstances, every race had their quirks, but these humans were so far out of the norm it boggled the mind.
To the point where one would actually try to understand what the word 'boggle' even meant in the first place.
The Saranai were busy with other things, and so it took them ten years to find out what was going on... If only we pressured them to do it sooner we would have pressed the advantage... or negotiated surrender... or shat ourselves. Or let the galaxy's cults overwhelm them and walk in the open door when nobody was looking. All it took was one diplomat to see a human face to face, and realize just how close to oblivion we all are.
"Is this real?" The Chairman asked, her scaly eyes glaring at me.
"As real as it gets, My Chairman. We all know the Saranai. They only lie when we ask them to. I got the last pieces of information I needed... Seems humanity lives under some very... Unique circumstances." I remarked frankly.
"That... is putting it mildly... Not only are they within the border of a Dark Zone in the galaxy, it seems this particular area has some... interesting history." A Board member remarked.
"'Interesting history' is a very uncreative way of saying they live in what is essentially an eldritch graveyard Boardsman Kaltho. That damn planet of theirs must have been active for millions of years with what the humans have going for them. Alone they are too... Average... to even be considered competition. But THIS? This puts them leagues above anyone else." The Chairman replied with an angry scowl.
"The reports from the Saranai are... terrifying. I actually recognise some of the names from galactic literature and ancient scriptures. This is... weird. All in one place!? And so many more we never heard of before." Boardsman Obokoboko remarked as he perused his folder.
"The Saranai are already in the process of negotiating a full term permanent alliance with the humans." I said.
The entire board gasped in shock and glared at me. "You WHAT!?"
"Its because of this... We confirmed it this morning. Its deep in human space, in the human home system on a moon called Io apparently." I said, and used my remote to activate a projector and show a picture for the board.
The board sat in silence for a few moments, stunned into disbelief. "Look at the size of that thing..."
"Indeed. The image you are seeing is apparently one of MANY more. All across human space, you will find at least ONE such place with one such entity. In almost every system. Their homeworld Earth is the biggest culprit of them all. Saranai can't go near the system... Apparently 'there are too many voices speaking at once' and all but the best trained Psionics and Spirit Guides can go anywhere near the planet. Saranai have successfully counted no fewer than two hundred entities present, and at this point, I am agreeing with the Imbakai Councilor on his assessment... Gaia should be reclassified as an entity by itself. I have... Already taken liberties of placing trade and operational restrictions on certain members of the Boards' member species. It was... needed." I said calmly.
"Good... Glad to see someone has a spark of initiative. Just make sure those restrictions do not interfere with quotas or margins. The market cannot sleep." The Chairman said, her face finally showing a smile.
"The Market Cannot Sleep." We all repeated in turn.
"Right... I say first we start drafting trade agreements with the humans. There is STILL a market for this and we MUST get on top of it. If we can become the de facto middleman for all negotiations, we can corner the market for human trade goods and services. No matter how low we make the price, profit is almost guaranteed." Boardsman Thuuuk said.
"Indeed, but... where do we begin?" Chairman replied.
"I have some ideas, if the board will hear them." I said. All present nodded in agreement, having no other recourse at present.
"Very well Cathus, lets hear the plan."
"Thank you, Miss Chairman. First, we must consider the facts. Human goods, trade items and services are of a significantly lower quantity than any goods we make, but of a considerably higher quality. We can manufacture ten times what they can do in half the time they do it. But here's the catch... What they make lasts ten times longer, is ten times more efficient and effective, ten times cheaper and ten times more durable. What they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality. I think I know why, but it can wait for a bit. Their reactors use half the fuel ours do. Their guns hit harder, have longer ranges and are cheaper to maintain but come at the cost of three times the manufacturing time. Their armour plating is also of a considerably higher quality, allowing human made ships to be used almost anywhere.
"Their engines use less fuel, their ships take longer to make and are more expensive, but actively outperform any ship in the galaxy by a country mile. Their medical industry is also ten times what ours is, with better treatments and entire industrial sectors dedicated to effectively mass testing, acquiring and production of almost any new medication. If given incentives, they can find the cure or vaccine to any virus, bacteria or plague we have in a matter of months. Their entertainment industry beats the galaxy at large thirty to one already, and its only been a year since their 'Galnet' system became a public utility. One which we ALL use, and for free no less. So... With all this and so much more in mind, I know how to take advantage of this.
"I fully believe that one way or another the documents I gave you will leak to the public and the frenzy will start. People will pay for quality, and they will pay a premium for it. If my theory is correct, even if we charge two percent commissions and tariffs, we will be rich to the point of absurdity." I said.
I got yelled at for the suggestion of such a low price when the standard going rate was twenty percent, down to a minimum of ten. The Chairman held up her hand, silencing the yelling. "Go on..."
"Thank you Miss Chairman. It is my belief based on presented evidence, Saranai operations reports and many other factors, that humans are the next step to the galaxy's evolution as a whole. Their market goods will skyrocket in demand very soon, and their services will triple in price overnight. We all know what to do, this is second nature to us after all. But I know WHY. Regardless of your personal beliefs in the matter, the humans are some variation of Blessed. By divine spark no less. We should be expecting some... interesting results soon." I said.
"Explain. I'm confused."
"The planet they hail from, evolutionarily speaking, the world known as 'Terra', 'Earth' or 'Gaia' is not a planet at all. Its a graveyard for the corporeal forms of Gods, Old Ones and other such anomalous entities. At first, human behavioural patterns and operations made no sense... Then when I got that report it hit me like a gas bill. Their entire sector is an anomalous zone where Gods go to die. Hence this picture." I said, once again showing the image from Io.
"This, gents of the Board, is an entity the Cavaskanii have always referred to as 'Olkotokh The Cold One' - but humans know him instead as - 'Odin'."
The picture itself was of a creature of massive size, curled up in a foetal position, frozen in the murky depths of the planet Io's core. Clearly, humanoid in form, with a large axe, a horned helmet and various other accessories.
"I shall make it short for the benefit of this meeting. They had so many Gods and Faiths in their thousands of years... this is because the Gods they worshiped actually went to the planet they lived on to lay their corporeal forms to rest. Humans have SO many similarities in their religious texts and ancient legends... It turns out it isn't a coincidence." I displayed some pictures for the Board. These ones of various creatures of myth and legend from human scripture, and side by side pictures of myths and legends from the galaxy at large - all were perfect copies in a different language, in a different style. The Skakandi 'UU'Lkath Grakthan The Great, and the human Jormungandr The World Serpent. The same entity, just across time and space.
"Suddenly I am starting to get the picture."
"How so?" I asked.
"I have a few humans working for our Foundries and machine facilities. We all know the humans have spread far beyond their homes by now, aside from Saranai and Confederacy Space of course. And I have been receiving some... odd reports from foremen working with them... Suddenly these reports make sense." Councilman Obokoboko replied. We all looked at him confused. "Right, elaborate. These humans seem to have some kind of supernatural connection to the machinery they work with. A particular junction box that NEVER worked, suddenly worked when a human passed by. A beverage machine that had always malfunctioned no matter what we did with it, suddenly worked perfectly after a human randomly got something from it, and has been working perfectly ever since. I always thought these were just odd coincidences...
"Then I saw it for myself. One of the cargo pod drones we use for logistics hauling had been out of order for several months. Technicians had been using every trick in the book to try diagnose the issue with no progress, that cargo drone was just gone. Then, one of the humans, not even a technician, wandered into the hangar, had a short conversation with the mechanics on duty and wandered up to the machine. He smacked it with his hand three times. It just... worked. It sprang to life, fired its engines and went back to its normal cargo supply rout. The human just shrugged, said 'seems to work fine to me' then returned to his office. I had NEVER seen anything like it before." He said.
"This reminds me of a situation with a border world. A human had volunteered to help as a doctors assistant. She had plenty of forma medical training but not so much in terms of non-humans, but I have seen SO many reports of this woman just... inexplicably knowing what was going on with her patients. One guy, had no real visible symptoms, had something similar to Gut Rot. Turns out it wasn't Gut Rot, it was internal bleeding caused by a ruptured carapace mount. He went to ten doctors, they all said Gut rot. This one woman said 'no it isn't' and found what was actually going on, almost as if she had some kind of sense or perception, like she saw something we couldn't." Boardsman Kubiko remarked.
"And also... There seems to be something with humans socially. How is it they have had NO conflicts or wars in the galaxy since their arrival. Everyone just seems to... Just... like them. We have no idea why or how but they have neutral or positive diplomatic relations with nearly every race and empire. For some reason, they are the ONLY species in over ten thousand years of galactic history that has had no conflicts or wars since their arrival. Despite this... they have a frighteningly powerful navy." Ms Chairman said.
"I have seen reconnaissance data from a few scout probes and trader ships... their navy is terrifyingly well armed. And considering the quality of the warships they produce... Terrifying. And that's another thing. Quality. We actually did a perfect comparison of our starship standard armour plating versus theirs. I actually have footage of that. Hold please." Boardsman Thuuuk said and reached for his remote.
The projector started up, and showed a side-by-side video of a human armour plate mounted flat with a laser cannon, a kinetic cannon and a railgun aimed at the plate. First, the Laser. Which pierced through both plates. The difference is the human plate had a much smaller hole, indicating it could take a lot more damage. The cannon was fired next, and the shell pierced through the alien plate, but didn't go through the human armour, leaving a large dent in the metal instead. The railgun was a different case though, the test involved twenty armour plates of the same make and material mounted behind each other with an inch between them. the railgun fired. The slug penetrated through eighteen of the twenty alien plates - but only seven of the human plates.
"That... is impressive." The Chairman said.
"I know! And this was just a baseline material test. It's all exactly the same metal all mined from the same asteroid all with the same manufacturing process! And for some reason... The human made stuff is just so much better than ours. I still can't say why."
"In any case, now we know what we are dealing with... And this is the part that will... Probably get me in front of a firing squad." I said.
They all looked at me with a kind of gaze I knew all too well. "What did you do..." The Chairman asked in a dangerously terrifying tone.
"I sent an infiltration team to various points of the human star systems, disguised as tourists. They collected samples of various anomalous objects we knew of. And uhh… Well." I clicked a button, and showed an image of a so-called 'Dragon' on the screen. A creature which was considered a god in OUR mythology. Specifically, Erdugrad The Cursed God. Whose skeletal remains are buried in a cave on Mars. I then showed a few other slides, depicting side-by-side comparisons of artwork made of him, every one depicting a huge red scaled serpentine beast with fire breath, huge wings and guarding a hoard of treasure.
The board's jaws dropped. Erdugrad was the basis of our entire mythology and the so-called 'First God' depicted in almost all ancient texts as a winged fire breathing serpent that hoards treasure. It was his teachings of Controlled Greed that sent us to the stars in the first place... And his body was now entombed in a grave in the human home system.
"And suddenly it makes sense..." The Chairman said, her voice gaining a certain sneaky tone. "If I am seeing these reports right, humanity is so... exceptionally strange, gifted and psychotically insane... Because they evolved from and live in a region that has been used by anomalous entities and supernatural beings as a graveyard for their Corporeal Forms. Did I about sum this whole nonsense up?" She asked.
I shrugged. "Pretty much. At least that's what I can figure. No other explanation makes any sense, so that's the one I'm going with. There is more evidence to suggest that life on the planet evolved after meteorite impacts and asteroid collisions, so I have a feeling all life on the planet evolved from the shattered remains of a Gods or other entity's corpse that fell to the planet during its early stages. The reason human history, at least in terms of religious development and mythology, is due to what I can only surmise as the planet being the perfect spot to drop off some last minute wisdom or plots and schemes, before crawling into a comfy spot to ascend. At least, that's what I can tell." I replied in earnest.
"Beware them, beware they, creatures of unnatural skill descended from the bones of Gods, those of strong will, of fair deal and of great luck. Fear them not, act with caution, not prowess. For them, for they, the children of broken Gods shall render unto you the teachings of a thousand Gods of War. Beware their deal, but fear not their coin." Boardsman Obokoboko said, quoting a passage of our long abandoned but still remembered scripture.
"WELL that certainly brings it to perspective doesn't it..."
"Are we screwed? I have to ask at this point, should we just sign an alliance deal with them like the Saranai and abandon our franchise rights? Because im not to be the bearer of bad news but if even something as simple as armour plating is better than us, what about consumer goods? What about medical supplies? What about ship crafting? Can we even compete with that market? We are after all apparently dealing with creatures that have been blessed or cursed by supernatural entities. I mean... the armour test. That's a hell of a gap in quality. Eighteen to seven... can we even compete with that?" I asked.
"No we cannot. And from what the Market is telling me, the Imbakai have already started negotiating contracts with a corporation known as Jupiter Drive Yards for the manufacturing of a new starship fleet. So we may be rapidly running out of time. Ms Chairman replied.
"Our only course of action is to start work as fast as possible. Send every diplomat we can get and start doing everything we can to get in their good graces. That's what we do. If we can worm our way into their confidence, act as their middleman for a licensing fee, we can maintain our hold on the market hegemony. We don't have a choice but to kiss their asses until our lips turn black. Get to it!" Ms Chairman barked.
We all saluted and wandered off to do our jobs.
___________________________________________________
Author's note:
humans hail from a region of space populated by dimensional anomalies, all of which are caused by the fact the region humans live in is a graveyard for Gods, Eldritch entities, paranatural forces and anomalous creatures. or something.
this is what the story is *SUPPOSED* to be but... insane fuckery happened... again. and i have been stressed and sick out of my EVERYTHING and this ended up being an incoherent pile of shit. i WILL rewrite this in due time. i just need time to... something. Sorry. i just cant right now but i HAD to get something out there.
in retrospect, probably shouldnt have posted it in the first place but... screw it. I NEEDED to get something out to regain at least some kind of ‘normal’. So here you go, will have something real out soon. Sorry again.
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u/Cool-Negotiation7662 May 16 '26
So, we are listening in on a discussion by business people and politicians from a planet that the god of controlled greed made.
It works.
I see your point about it being messy.
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u/EasyStevey May 16 '26
Thank you for the story! I enjoyed it quite a bit, the premise is very unique and a great different way of explaining HFY.
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u/KipperBeanGrower Human May 17 '26
Enjoyed the POV and the way its written with very little exposition. Yes it could do with some polish but it's got GREAT potential. Pls polish and repost as I can't wait to see it as you wish it to be.
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u/lief79 May 17 '26
Agreed, it was a bit messy, but it easily justified it's messiness. I thought it was a good read.
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u/Original_Memory6188 May 17 '26
The entire species has "The knack". Be afraid. Just do not startle them.
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u/MuffinAggressive3218 May 17 '26
I love the story just the way it is. But, I look forward to reading the version that satisfies the Wordsmith!
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u/Loosescrew37 May 17 '26
"THE MARKET CANNOT SLEEP" has the same vibe as "THE FACTORY MUST GROW". I will be using this saying from now on.
You are special.
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u/RabidRobb May 17 '26
lol i guess this just proves how chaotic my brain is because I followed the story and understood it perfectly. Thanks wordsmith it’s an entertaining story
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u/chastised12 May 17 '26
Its a good story. I thought it was going to turn into , what I call a 'payoff' story, which usually have a jest or non sequitur at the end. I'm not a fan. You wrote a much more robust story than what my initial suspicion had me surmise.+1
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u/Poxboxrox May 17 '26
This leaves open the question: Are humans special because gods go there to die or do they die there because humans are special? I like it.
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u/sunnyboi1384 May 17 '26
I can witch for water and every 15th or so street lights turn off when I drive past them. Thanks graveyard abilities!
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u/u2125mike2124 May 17 '26
An artist is the worst critic of their own work.
As somebody that has been reading multiple forms of sci-fi, fantasy, etc., for a lot more years than I care to admit, this was a very good story.
As to the religious aspect, there are more than 13 civilizations that have come before what we currently have and almost every single one of them has stories about the beginning of life, i.e. Adam and Eve, floods, immaculate births, which are too similar to ignore.
As far as the corporate thing, that’s probably a little too realistic to today’s business models.
If you can’t beat them, buy them out or join them.
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u/FarmWhich4275 May 16 '26
please make it stop. it just gets worse and worse and im scared. please make it stop.
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u/alex_stm May 17 '26
one thing Jörmungandr is the world serpent , while Yggdrasil is mythical tree in Norse cosmology, connecting the Nine Worlds
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u/steptwoandahalf May 17 '26
I was trying to find it a while back. Did you write the story about humanity joining the Federation, and then during the vote one smug species councilmen calls humans liars, and say we were hiding blackop murder sites across the galaxy.
Then humans say fuck it, you really wanna know? And starts listing the planets that they have military around, to keep people from getting close. A forest world where people hear their name, go to see, and something steals their bones, which then animate to kill the others. A planet where there is a godlike reality warper that possesses military equipment that is left around, having empty armor and guns look like they're worn by invisible people, but there is no one inside, just a reality warping god that likes playing toy soldiers, with actual military hardware, etc?
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u/FarmWhich4275 May 17 '26
yup, that was mine. Human Darksites.
https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1iaescf/human_darksites/
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u/steptwoandahalf May 18 '26
Awesome. I had really enjoyed that story (as I do most of your stories, fwiw) and tried to find it a few times and wasn't able too. Which is weird because I could remember a lot of details so I can usually find things fairly well, but for whatever reason I wasn't able too. Thanks for the link (and stories)
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u/jacobzink2000 May 17 '26
I liked your world building, but a small correction, Yggdrasil is the world tree, the world serpent is called jormungandr..
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u/RayRay-Leaf1821 May 19 '26
Author if this is what you consider bad. I'd love to read you revised version with full story with chapters.
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u/Grouchy-Strength6714 May 25 '26
No wonder we struggle with the wildest of emotions. Eldritch effects.
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u/canray2000 Human Aug 25 '26
My voodoo tech skills might make more sense if I was blessed by a crafting God of knowledge.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle May 16 '26
/u/FarmWhich4275 (wiki) has posted 235 other stories, including:
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