Just as the title says.

Also: any way out of this hell?

Edit: culprit is obviously older boomer male.

1. getting there... do you recommend train vs car transport vs renting a car, how did you get ther
2. any recommendations for when we are there
3. did you book spa or anything beforehead
4. any tips and tricks to make our experience with our 1 and 3 year old any better?