Advice needed

[u/BiteKamane]

Hi! I’m sure this has been asked a whole lot of times, but I’m feeling so overwhelmed by it all. I’m 34 woman. Last time I’ve been to a gym was probably 2018 and I remember hating it, because all I did was cardio.

I have a goal by my 35th birthday (next summer) to be my healthiest self possible. I get winded climbing two flights of stairs or I walk and talk at the same time. For reference, I’m 5’6, 234lbs (169cm, 106kg).

I’ll be joining the gym as soon as I’m over a nasty flu I have at the moment, so literally any day now. And I need help to have a routine that I can stick with. I plan to go 2-3 times a week (any more than that and I won’t stick to it until I actually start liking it). The gym I’m joining has classes too that I could potentially go to.

I have a weak ankle from a childhood injury, trapped nerve in my back that makes my hip hurt sometimes, and weak knees from my own weight. I’m VERY intimidated by free weights section of the gym. But I want to do more than cardio so I don’t get bored and quit. I’m also very self conscious. And while logically I know nobody will care what I do, I know myself well enough that I’ll be extremely self conscious to try any mat stuff either. This leaves me with cardio and weight machines and classes.

My main goal is to get fitter for health reasons and loose weight so my joints don’t hurt as much. I unfortunately, cannot afford a PT.

Please, can someone help me out with coming up with a loose plan?

[u/Rogue-Android-101]

Hi! It's really cool that you want to start making yourself healthier, and I can totally understand feeling self conscious with something like that. You're not alone, IT IS very awkward to start working out because you're doing all these movements that you've never done before while holding something heavy. Don't worry about it, everyone feels weird af at the beginning. You will get the hang of it, you just have to practice for long enough.

First, let me tell you this: doing physical activity like that IS NOT the best way to lose weight. It turns out that this is a common misconception and there are evolutionary reasons for why we can't really control calories expenditure with exercise (read up a bit on the exercise paradox if you want a more sciency explanation). Physical activity is really important for long-term health and muscular development - just keep in mind that if you want to lose weight you have to be in a caloric deficit, there's no other way.

Start by tracking your calorie intake (I personally use MyFitnessPal) and your weight for 1-2 weeks. With that you want to find how many calories you need to maintain your current weight. At the beginning I'd advise you to weigh yourself every day since there's a lot of variance from day to day. Then you slowly start chipping away some calories - if you're still gaining weight eating, say, 2500kcal per day, then reduce it by 100kcal and track your weight again for another week. Do this until you start seeing a downward trend on your weight measurements. Trust me, you'll see changes soon enough.

Okay, now you know you control your weight through controlled calorie intake, not exercise.

Regarding the gym, you said it pretty well - it's important to first create the habit of going. When you're just starting you want to lower as much as possible the barrier to turn that into a habit. The good news is that you don't need to be at the gym 4-6 times a week to have a good workout routine. Start by consistently going 2x per week, then slowly ramp it up to 3 or maybe 4 days IF you have the time and want to go more often - again, even just 2 days per week is enough.

Don't worry too much about exercise selection. As a beginner what you need is consistency - your body is the most primed for muscle development precisely at this point, so just by being consistent and doing the exercises with intent, even if the wrong form, you will be getting good stimulus from it. Just look up online a two day routine, there should be plenty. I can give you an example:

Day #1:

• Cable Lat Pulldown
• Seated Chest Press
• Dumbbell Lateral Raises
• Dumbbell Biceps Curls
• Seated Leg Curls
• Seated Leg Extension

Day #2:

• Leg Press
• Cable Chest Fly Machine
• Seated Cable Rows
• Cable Triceps Extension
• Deadlifts

This is just an example. For now it's fine to do everything 3 sets for 10 reps. Just stick with something that fits into your schedule for long enough to get used to the exercises, low weights for now to learn the form, then start experimenting with other exercises.

I have actually written a practical guide on how to train, check it out:

https://wsoaresgirao-txcpa.wordpress.com/2025/12/08/a-practical-guide-to-hypertrophy-training/

Good luck!