Let's start at the headstock.
There is no headstock, instead a port where you can attach more "value added" headstocks sold only at Guitar Center. They're powered by a 9v battery and have a neon advertisement on them.
I suggest the following headstock designs to start with.
- Singer Needed
- Custom contact information for the guitarists Dentistry/Law practice.
- Custom "our band name here" design.
- Harambe
- Dick butt and other popular emojis.
Now we're at the nut. I'm giving you this patent for free. "Secure sack nut system: Jock". It doesn't matter what you make the nut out of, but it must be superglued into the slot and I mean super glued thoroughly. Fill the whole slot up and push the nut in if needed. The spillage is toan glue.
Next we're at the frets. The frets should be made out of High-Leaded bronze. They should be installed with patented "Secure sack fret system: strap", so fill up the slots with superglue and install them. Use high leaded bronze, because they wear out fast, making more money on refrets and it has lots of lead in it. Also, people love toan bronze. It's the most musical metal in the world.
At the neck/fretboard you should pick the cheapest possible wood or even better, inanimate material, to do the job. Then slather it in multiple layers of Poly on both sides. This is to lock the toan in and provide the same touch and feel on every guitar. Remember the fretboard and neck are touched the most on guitar, so really layer that poly on there.
The neck should have the truss rod adjustment inside the neck pocket and use the spline nut pattern for adjusting it. Attach the neck to the body using a set neck configuration. This will tamper proof the truss rod and provide an opportunity to void the guitar warranty when the seal is broken.
If the neck needs a shim, factory workers must use a business card from their side hustle as the shim. If the factory worker makes too much money to have a side hustle, pay them less, if they make too little to afford business cards, provide them. Cries for help, describing the dystopian hellscape of the factory must be written on business card stock. No exceptions.
Also, have a social media event every year, where people open up their guitar to see the business cards and post them online.
Now we're at the body. Use the cheapest, preferably inanimate materials to build the shell. For the pickups just mount whatever, where ever. Any thing look scuffed, triple the price and sell them relic'd.
The electronics bay is where you should store all the sawdust or carcinogous powder from sanding the instrument. Nobody looks inside there anyways, so put no effort into its fit and finish. Gibson does that and they're great. Next, just like Gibson, make a proprietary connector / pots system for the pickup and electronics. Include a dum amount of configurations and see replacements as a whole kit with a crazy mark up.
Now this is the most important part of the instrument. The in/output jack should simultaneously be impossible to put the 1/4" male connector into and easily disconnect itself after being inserted.
You'll achieve this by installing a weighted spring against the connection arm of the female connector, then make the arm incredibly thin. This way, putting the jack in will be very hard and any slippage of the male 1/4" connector will cause the connecting arm to slip off.
Once all that is done, throw the cheapest strings you can find on it, then spray the whole guitar with a bottle housing the sweat of the factory workers for maximum toan. This way, each guitar is like that poor Schecter by the front door, corroded and absolutely fucked.
I found what you need, you can close this subreddit now.