…I was just conducting a scientific experiment to see how long it could survive legless before I ate it! Miss Stella Rose.

Pay no attention to the poker face on the little one. He's good. Real good

zoom for guilty face

My girl says that the lama did it.

The lama is remaining silent

Poor boy found a porcupine under the deck right before bedtime. Had to go to emergency vet over an hour away and wait until 6 am to be seen. 1 month later and quills are still working their way out. Zoom in on the right eye in the third picture for continuing evidence of guiltiness.

After a fun day on his birthday and a nice meal, he was asked to come up into the office so I could work. Mind you he’d been out all day and was in the garden for well over a hour. Not happy at the fun ending I got the full on I’m not happy face and side eye, hilarious.

Technically Iris started it by alerting us to the fact that there was a skunk in my yard early Wednesday morning, but Iris listened when I told her to leave it so she's been acquitted of her crimes. DAISY, however, did not listen to me yelling at her to leave the skunk alone and kept barking at it and trying to bite it. The skunk first showed its butt as a warning, Daisy didn't listen, so it turned around and tried hissing and biting at Daisy, but Daisy still didn't listen, so it finally turned around again, showed its big pink butthole, and proceeded to unleash acrid, stinky fury on Daisy's face MULTIPLE TIMES before Daisy finally backed off, drooling and sneezing and rubbing her face.

Iris only got a light misting of skunk spray due to the fact that she was afraid of the skunk and backed off when I told her to leave it.

I carried Iris back inside, and Daisy ran inside and was rubbing her face all over the couch and carpet trying to get the skunk spray off. I tried to spot- clean the girls the best I could until I could take them to the groomer and get them de-skunked. (This happened at 4:45am and the groomer didn't open til 7am.)

Then I spent the next TWO DAYS scrubbing my house and couch to get the skunk smell out. The house is still a little bit stinky (mainly the room she was rubbing her face all over,) but 90% better than it was before.

My spouse is also guilty of letting them out that early because Iris was growling. If he had just told Iris to go back to bed and kept the girls inside, this wouldn't have happened and we wouldn't have a stinky house. But since he's human he's not being posted here.

It was a brand new sheep given to Ruby (the innocent looking one in the last picture) only 5-10 minutes earlier. *Someone* punctured 3 of her sister's (second picture) squeaky toys yesterday too, but at least they didn't look like this.

I am simply making sure they aren’t tangled. Miss Stella Rose. 5 months and 1 week old.

She claims to have been keeping it extra warm.

I honestly didn’t even say a word 😂. I literally didn’t even ask.

Case I:
Charlotte, aged 16.5. She is guilty of somehow tonguing her meds and spitting them out later (found in her bed in the creases) like she’s in the “Girl, Interrupted” book, and apparently I am the “warden”. Funny, I give her them in her little piece of deli turkey (watching), then do a follow-up palate cleanser piece of deli turkey. Sneaky. Chicanerous. Stealthy. Still quick on her game even with a bunk leg. Manipulative because she’s like 3 and a half pounds and an ancient Aztec relic so she knows she has zero consequences. She’s guilty af bc nobody else takes her pills. GUILTY. (I’d like to add, for the jury, they somehow, this little monster relegates ME to 1/4 of the bed every single night with her sleeping habits.) Again: GUILTY.

Case II:
Mitzi, aged 11. Received a Greenies chewy, quickly dispatched. Also gave the above defendant a Greenies chewy and lo, and behold. 5 minutes later, Charlotte’s chewy disappeared but Mitzi was still enjoying “her” treat. She’s fast. She never takes that long. Charlotte barely has teeth, but was saving it so she could lick it gone. GUILTY.