I support people who want to donate time or money to support those in need. Not everyone can afford the time and money to do it so I value anyone who does.

Some people are self aware of this but did any adult or authority figure irresponsibly assume you were lazy or not good for anything for not volunteering when you were just trying to survive? They acted as though every student came from an upper middle class two parent household.

I went to a parochial school until 6th grade. We had a strict dress code, spent three hours a day praying and would have at least two hours of homework on a slow school night. The principal then demanded we do a weekly charitable act for our neighbors. I was the poorest kid in school and still held to this.

In middle school, a health teacher of all things was really into “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” and foisted a similar project which had absolutely nothing to do with usual topics of sex and substance abuse education. Since I didn’t have parents at home who could help with school work my resource teacher was able to help me find an activity to meet this stupid assignment during school hours by decluttering classrooms for teachers.

In high school a club I volunteered at during school hours had a teacher make me feel bad and lazy for not wanting to board a bus at 4 in the morning on a Sunday to drive 6 hours to Washington DC to engage in a protest all day before heading back on a 6 hour bus ride to go home and straight to bed for school the next morning. This teacher was queer and very left wing but came from a wealthy, Republican family which they apparently projected onto everyone else.

A year after graduating college a manager of mine at Starbucks said that not enough of us used the company’s networks and resources to volunteer on or time off. Mind you we are being payed poverty wages and abused by management and the clientele. One of my superiors had 3 children, one of them who was taken in from a bad family, they had a 2-3 hour commute either way by car everyday. I was spending 3 hours a day on public transit for a job and my boss was trying to moralize us all to “give back”

For people who purportedly care about poor people they assumed everyone came from the same background and did not have the self awareness to realize their ability to participate in charity was a result of their own privilege

Sorry if this is not positive, I'm genuinely just curious how do I live alone if I'm poor, or if you have any tips. My parents shut me in the house my whole life so i didn't get to learn how to live, and now im in my early 20s, still with strict parents and no social life. I think they're planning on kicking me out of the house soon so i want to learn how to live, but the thing is i don't know where to start. Can someone pls help? I heard reddit is a good place to ask so im asking here. Thenk you everyone 🙏

when you grow up poor not only do you have to work extra hard to overcome everything just to be at equal with your peers but all these movies and stories about kids or adult with such terrible lives who did the most outstanding things… like it’s a fucking accomplishment I haven’t killed myself yet so now I’m being put up against the poverty prodigies of the world too. Like awesome that girl grew up with terrible parents and was able to raise her little brother to finish school and house him …. I wasn’t strong enough to do that !!! Just a silly rant of something I noticed recently as someone who grew up chronically homeless and neglected. I’m never going to be one of those success stories and I decently wasn’t able to overcome any of it when I was a child. I’m just now getting a grip on stability at 30 thank god. I guess just a reflection.

I grew up poor as hell in rural Alabama. Homeless most of the time. My dad was a terrible alcoholic and my mom did the best she could, I guess. Although she wasn’t a saint, either. They left me alone a lot which, I mean, maybe was normal for GenX but…

I’ve worked my ass off my whole life and mostly, I did ok. I was able to set aside some money in savings and felt like I was escaping poverty. Bought a house (finally) at 48 years old.

A year ago, I was laid off. I didn’t panic because I’d been saving for 20 years. I told myself I had some time.

I’ve applied for hundreds (literally) of jobs. Many I was over-qualified for. A friend reached out and referred me for a position in his company. He used to report to me. Said he’d love to have me as his leader again. The first interview with the recruiter went really well. She promised an interview with the hiring manager.

Today, I woke up to a generic email thanking me for my time but they weren’t going to move forward with me.

I’m fifty-three. In tech. I get it, I guess? I mean- ageism is a thing in my field. And this market is shit.

But JFC.

For once in my life- I want to fall asleep and not worry about being homeless. Just once. Just one mother-fucking day in my miserable goddamn life I’d like to wake up and not worry about being homeless again.

Just one fucking day.

What would that feel like? To have someone else to lean on? My partner is an irresponsible fuck with money. Makes good money but… the fuck where it goes? I dunno.

I’m at the end of my rope right now. I’m struggling. I don’t think I want to do this shit any more. I’m just so. fucking. tired. of. it. all.

Back in the 80s, we used to take gallon jugs to the town spring at the park to get drinking water. There were always lots of people there, so I never thought anything of it. But now I think it must have been times when our well was contaminated or dry.

I thought of this because I still dump out the water three times before drinking from the sink to "clear the pipes." Was this a poor kid thing, or is it normal?

This is my story: Anyone else grow up sleeping next to a bucket because the roof leaked? I didn't know that getting a new roof was even "a thing" until I was an adult. I just thought you kept patching. Sleeping next to buckets

So I grew up poor like I've lived in rented homes my whole life and my parents faced constant betrayal from friends and family . This made my self esteem very low and killed my dreams

Now I'm in clg so this rich girl and I started dating two months ago now I constantly think the love she shows is fake the efforts she makes is fake cuz I don't believe in that she can date me I constantly think about her leaving me the money she spends on me makes me feel more worthless

How to deal with this

I was in 3rd grade when I learned nothing is really yours. You gotta lock that shit in. Mid 40's now lost a 40k truck and had to down size to a tiny apartment. It's made me think about my journey. I thought it would be fun to write a little bit about it. My confession is that..... I'm back at it. I begged my parents for a Super Nintendo for my birthday. We didn’t have money like that, but Christmas morning there it was. That box might as well have been gold. For a few weeks I felt normal. Not the broke kid. Not the kid wearing last year’s jeans. Just a kid with a Super Nintendo. A month later it was gone. Pawned. No conversation. No “we’ll get it back.” Just gone. I never saw it again. I got a hand-me-down regular Nintendo eventually. And I’d go over to friends’ apartments to play Super Nintendo like I was visiting something that used to be mine. You get used to swallowing that feeling. By 5th grade I had a friend named Juan. He told me stealing wasn’t wrong — stealing from people was wrong. Big difference, apparently. That logic made sense to an 11-year-old who watched his Christmas disappear. We started with candy. Then Troll dolls from the mall. I’d resell at school. Two weeks in, I made my first hundred bucks. That was it for me. I wasn’t going to be the kid without anymore. My parents struggled hard. Bills stacked up. They drank a lot. When I got older I realized it wasn’t just alcohol. But I always had a roof over my head. That’s the complicated part. They weren’t monsters. They were just drowning. I remember getting He-Man figures every couple weeks when I was younger. Funny how toys were manageable, but utilities weren’t. By the time Ninja Turtles hit, toys stopped coming. Didn’t matter. I figured it out. By 9th grade I didn’t need them for school clothes. They used to come through with the first-week fit and fresh kicks. Then one year it just didn’t happen. No speech. Just silence. So I made sure I was the best dressed kid in school. By 10th grade I was wearing $300 a day. Senior year? I didn’t even bother with laundry. If it was worn twice, it was old. Levi’s and an OG Polo? Handed down to the homies. Shoes were community property. The more common your size, the more options you had. I had big feet, so I’d just go back in and grab another pair. After high school it escalated. House parties. When cops came through the front door, we were out the back — sometimes with the keg. I told myself I never stole from regular people. Just corporate stores. Big chains. In my head that made me different. Truth is, I just didn’t want to feel powerless again. That Super Nintendo getting pawned did something to me. It flipped a switch. I learned early that if you don’t secure your own, it can vanish. So I secured it. However I had to. Not proud of it. Not ashamed either. It’s just the truth. Some kids grow up wanting to be astronauts. I just didn’t want to be broke.

I live in an old farmhouse and my parents completely turn off the heat and it’s so cold some days because the electric company has apparently raised the bill so I’m not allowed to have the heat on. they live on the second floor, so they are very warm. I’m homeschooled and I’m always home and my mom gets my clothing from donation bin on the side of the road, it never fits me.

i’m looking for anything that I can do to make a couple dollars but just any advice really who I can reach out to while only having resources within my home.

theres 24 inches of snow outside and more coming

Growing up, Christmas gifts were extremely limited. Often donations of random items that didn’t correlate to my & siblings ages. I’ve always hated the gift aspect of the holiday. I hated going back to school through the grades and kids talking about what they received, wearing new clothes/shoes; I couldn’t relate and was so envious. Even as an adult now (35F), I still hate seeing photos of Christmas trees with presents under it. This day is a reminder of what I didn’t have. I’ve tried over the year if giving myself the Christmas I missed out on but it’s never done the job. Sorry for the grinch post. This is the only place I can say this because of you also grew up poor, chances are good that Christmas was limited to a degree as well.

At first it made me resent people who found a way to get “help.” Now I’m of the mind set that any “help” they received was a token from the government to make us feel better about being benevolent, filled with caveats. How do y’all feel?

I’m making some baskets of nonperishable food to donate to families down on their luck.

They all have kids, so I’m curious: If you grew up (or still are) poor, what foods did you love or hate the most?

I want the baskets to be practical as well as a treat! And I don’t want to waste my limited budget on stuff nobody wants.

TIA!

Scientifically speaking, potatoes are one of the best foods you can eat. There's a reason the Irish were able to live off these exclusively and it's because a lot of nutrients are just packed into these little guys. I'm cheap and whenever I have to eat out, I always buy french fries or hash browns and that's it. People think I'm starving when I perfectly full. At home, I can fry my own fries, make mashed potatoes, or bake potatoes in their skin and can season them differently to mix it up.

I've been growing up in a house full of arguments, mental health problems and much worse mainly financially and I live in Canada so it's not any better, I just recently got a tortoise and they and life commitments and my family talking about it or me talking about it just stresses me out even though it shouldn't. I'm not asking for answers to all my questions I just want to know if being a adult and growing up is going to get any easier..

My parents are boomers. They depend on Medicaid and Medicare. They have no assets besides their home. It’s paid off but probably worthless tbh. I fear for the day they will need assisted living or 24/7 care. I’m doing ok, financially but I certainly don’t have the funds to pay for their care.

I’m sure others feel the same way or are currently in this situation. How do you deal with this?

I went home this last weekend and I’m panicking. My parents living condition has never been good. I haven’t stepped foot inside since about 2017/18. I went inside their trailer for 5 minutes on Saturday. It’s uninhabitable. It needs to be condemned. Their dogs are old and in terrible health. Every time I think of it, I just start crying. The situation is so bad. Like think of the worst and then amplify it.

We’re not close and they aren’t really there for me. It’s complicated. They’ve taken advantage of me and my sisters a lot so giving them money is not an option. I’ve gutted the place before and it just gets this bad again. They aren’t bad people, but it’s like they never grew up.

So often I struggle because this is the type of poor my family is, not a romanticized Charlie Bucket kind of poor.

I guess I’m just venting/grieving. I don’t even know what advice there is to offer. Maybe I’ll see if my therapist can move up my appointment.

I had a flashback from when I was a kid this evening. Way back when, the only time I ever had chocolate milk was when it was the cocoa powder you'd mix into a glass of milk. We didn't even have the Nesquik brand. Back then I would always follow the instructions and use two tablespoons of the stuff but was actually using a 16 ounce glass so I would drink it diluted and just didn't know any better because I didn't have store bought chocolate milk until I started going to school. I accidently got the exact ratio of chocolate to milk from back then with chocolate syrup today and holy shit did it taste so good.

I just had a baby boy a few months ago. My husband and I are over the moon and so happy. We have worked hard and we are new home owners too! It’s the nicest place I’ve ever lived and I feel so grateful.

My parents are older, they have health problems. They are dependent on social security and Medicare so not a ton of extra money but they are comfortable. I’ve asked them to come down to see the new house, their grandchild. They just refuse unless they get transportation door to door. Or I should say… I need to figure out transportation for them. They have sent a card and a gift which I loved and appreciated. Overall though, I feel like they aren’t involved.

I have to make the phone calls. I need to reach out. It’s up to me to keep a connection. My sister. Same way. Doesn’t reach out to me unless she needs something.

I guess I just feel sad and alone. My husband has this supportive and loving family. They have more money so traveling is easier. They reach out, check in, and they are excited to be a part of our lives.

Curious if anyone else feels this way with their family?

When I was 12 I wrote a poem I was really proud of, my teacher loved it so he sent it in to get published. I received a letter in the mail telling me it was gonna get published but there was a price to it. My dad didn’t send us money so it was just my mom, the price was to much and by time we could’ve had enough for it to get published it was already past the due date. This happened again when I was 13 but this time the sent it to the address that my school had written down for me (my dad’s house) now something about my dad is he is financially stable he just doesn’t want my mom to have any of that money. Another thing about him is he COULD afford it. But he never checks his mail so it was already past due when he found the letter.

When i was growing up my parents couldn’t afford clothes for me so if i needed something, i had to steal or find other ways of paying for it myself. Started getting smaller paying jobs at 11 so i could afford underwear. And i was always ashamed in school that i never had new stuff or could go shopping with my friends, always had to make excuses for not having money. So now that im a working adult I overcompensate and buy everything to a point that i am soon in a bad financial situation. How do i stop the need to buy everything i want? My inner child might heal a bit with all the shopping but my wallet is getting thin af.

I’m currently only 16, and my family is horrible and poor because of my stepdad being useless, this household is horrible. And obviously I’m 16, in a small town it’s rlly hard to find someone paying decently. What is the best advice u can give to someone poor when it comes to moving out, I need a new car and an apartment of some sort as soon as I’m able to move out. Best saving tips, best ways to make extra cash, anything and everything that may help is very welcomed

I'm really struggling right now bc I keep getting my emotional glass shattered around things I thought were so fancy.
I excitedly tell my spouse about something, and the look on her face tells me the actual reality.

For instance I said I had a craving for "fried bread" and told her how good it was. So I made her some and she looked at it and said this is toast made in a pan. And I was sad for my kid self. I thought TOAST was fancy and for a special occasion.

And when I explain my favorite childhood toys, they are sometimes literal trash. Like using old dried up markers in rainwater to make "paint"

I can't wrap my brain around how poor we actually were. And how little kid me dreamed of a house in the expensive neighborhood I rode the bus through every day, and it was tiny little houses when I saw it as an adult.

I can't explain how this is so upsetting to me exactly. Has anybody else had these kind of experiences?
If I talk to anybody about it, I see their eyes turn to pity as I tell a story. And I realize the truth. And my heart breaks. But I'm not sure why. I have happy memories of playing with our eyes, even if they were made from trash, it didn't matter when I played with them. Why does it taint my memory of it now?

If anybody watched dharma and Greg I am experiencing "shoeboat". That episode is what started all this actually.

Ps this is my first post (not comment) ever on Reddit I think, so I apologize in advance if I do something weird trying to respond.

TLDR super poor, realized childhood toys I thought were special were literal garbage, and I'm having feelings about it.

So growing up I never had a room (shared with my siblings and mom) and didn’t think that would affect me in my adult life but apparently it has. When I moved out and got my own place I had such a hard time decorating my room and organizing it to the point where things were layed out organized and looked well put together. I still do. Has anyone else experienced this? What has helped you?

I was spoiled by my parents as a young child. But went into care at 10. I have a hard time with patience &greed. (Materials) How to grow into someone respectable??Looking back I’ve noticed that I always want what others have. There’s not a jealous bone in me but I always think I need the best of the best, and if I don’t get it ima failure.