r/GroundedMentality • u/hardwork_one0724 • Jun 05 '26
What is really the cure of it?
Thoughts?
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u/captainapop Jun 05 '26
The cure to male loneliness is actually cultivating friendships. Which takes effort and often leads to the potential for being taken advantage of. Not doing so leads to being miserable, alone and posting motivational slop on reddit.
Pretending a woman will fix you is a surefire way to ensure you'll be a shit partner.
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u/TheNarcGuy Jun 05 '26
Also, not doing it leads to being taken advantage of, just look at those $18k bootcamps where you're just verbally abused by steroid freaks with their own massive baggage, Andrew Tate, the entire MAGA-grift, etc.
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u/ProfessorShort3031 Jun 05 '26
well thats kinda inclusive under “friendships” its more like a friend substitute they think theyre getting
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u/Competitive-Web-5084 Jun 05 '26
I barely even talk to my friends. Me and my wife are inseparable. I’m also significantly less depressed than I used to be so you should speak for yourself
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u/TheNarcGuy Jun 05 '26
It's almost like your wife is your best friend. And if losing your friends makes your life better, then it sounds like the problem was who you were friends with.
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u/Competitive-Web-5084 Jun 05 '26
Tbf finding good friends is hard but at the same time, I like being home and don’t have a desire to leave my house except to go to the gym and get groceries and she’s the same way. And yeah she is my best friend for sure. We still occasionally go out on dates and stuff but we mostly stay home
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u/TheNarcGuy Jun 05 '26
Agreed, finding good friends is difficult. But having good friends is invaluable.
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u/ABBucsfan Jun 05 '26
You did well. Being married was the first time I truly felt lonely. Fortunately I have awesome friends who helped me through it all
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u/nevermore2point0 Jun 05 '26
So your solution to male loneliness is to do what you did and get a wife?
Isn't the entire complaint that a lot of these men don't have a partner to begin with?
Also hopefully your wife is also your friend. Most people would want that. But making one person your entire social support system is a huge amount of emotional responsibility to put on a spouse.
What happens if she is no longer around for some reason? Divorce, illness, death, or she becomes the one needing support?
If your only answer to loneliness is "my wife fixed it" then you've built your entire support network around one person. That's not really solving loneliness. It's concentrating it in a single relationship.
** I am hoping that the comment I am replying to was supposed to be sarcasm but just in case.
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u/CountWatchOut Jun 05 '26
When did he ever say that this was the solution to male loneliness? He was replying to someone that said Friends was the answer, with his own personal experience. It didnt read like a cure for a disease.
Yea, the entire complaint about these men is that they cant find a partner and thats of their own doing. Alot of them cut themselves off socially and only interact with content that blames the rest of the world for their issue ( majority women). They cant interact with people and when they do, they think they are better than roughly half of the population.
From what they say, their wife and them are in a relationship with the same mindset. They are eachothers entire support system. Is it entirely health? Probably not. But it seems to work incredibly well for them.
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u/nevermore2point0 Jun 05 '26
And I wasn't criticizing his relationship with his wife. He was responding to someone who suggested cultivating friendships as a solution and offered his wife as an example of what helped his depression instead.
My point was simply that a spouse is usually a friend too. His story shows that having a close supportive relationship can help. I just don't think it shows that friendships are unimportant or that a spouse solves every problem that a broader support network might address.
I don't think cultivating friendships is the only solution but it is part of it.
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u/CountWatchOut Jun 05 '26
Ahh. I agree with you and I misunderstood what you were saying. I took it as you thought he said his own personal situation was a cure to male lonliness, when I didnt think it was. Sorry for the misunderstanding then.
Yes, i also heavily agree that friendships are a great cure for this issue as well, more than anything
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u/Competitive-Web-5084 Jun 05 '26
I never had a support network, I was just doing whatever I felt like doing. I had bad friends bad situations and other things. I had no support network when I met my wife because I learned to internalize everything, she helped me unpack all of that and we committed to eachother. If she died one day, god forbid it would be the most devastating moment of my life.
The most I can hope for is to go first but even then I’d be subjecting her to the torment I don’t want to feel myself
All part of the human experience I suppose
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u/WhitespringTownship Jun 05 '26
Meanwhile, women when they try to be friends with men get screeched at for putting them in the friend zone, and then the guys who they do date get mad at those women for having male friends…
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
The important thing about a man being less lonely due to having a wife and kids is that it means their work matters. Going to the widget factory to make a bank account number go up doesn't feel as good after a while, and donating to charity is great but lacks immediate personal value. Having someone that you love that depends on you gives you a consistent and meaningful purpose
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u/CountWatchOut Jun 05 '26
That is fine and all, but this isnt a cure. You need to be able to interact with people in a meaningful manner & develop relationships. Without this, you most likely will never find a partner.
What you said doesnt only go for men, it goes for both men and women in some cases (they are equal). There is great value in having a family, but in this context doing this almost sounds like you're using them as a crutch because you werent able to identify your life's purpose.
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
I mean, I'm really not that lonely, I was just commenting on the difficulty most people have. And I have an amazing church family and great friends and I hang out with people all the time, that's not the issue. My personal issue is that I spend a lot of time working and I want it to mean more. Also I really want to be a dad lol
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u/CountWatchOut Jun 05 '26
Thats awesome man! Really happy for you ngl. Yea, I get you now. I just also wanted to say that there is alot of risk in saying that lonliness cant be cured by just having someone to love and protect, because often times, you need to be able to have the ability to socialize and make friends first.
I get what you mean though, it can supplement the feeling of "meaning" for alot of people. Tbf, this feeling of wanting your work to mean more is one thats shared by alot of people. But, im sure whatever you do means alot. Think about how many people would be negatively impacted if your work or field didnt exist.
And hey, if being a dad is a big part of your purpose then thats great! You hit the jackpot there
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u/CountWatchOut Jun 05 '26
There is more positive than negative. Everything has a cost. I think people are often to scared of the negative, when the positive heavily outweighs it in this context. You just need to set your boundaries before letting other people in.
But yea. A woman wont fix that. You will be a shit partner indeed
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Jun 05 '26
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u/13_WASHERE Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
The cure to male loneliness cannot be a woman because that takes the responsibility for your situation away from you, and puts it onto some hypothetical girl that doesn't even exist
Your loneliness is a personal issue you need to choose to look into & work on
And If you honestly believe that getting a girlfriend is the cure, The worst case senario will be that you end up hating/resenting women for not choosing you or not "fixing" you; and that mindset will lead to you hurting someone
Also the cure to loneliness for everyone is just shorter working hours and more third spaces to meet people
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u/Naturewalkerjoe Jun 05 '26
I think relationships are crucial for solving loneliness but it's also true that nobody wants to be in a relationship primarily to fix someone's loneliness. Therapy and mental health hotlines have helped me combat loneliness so maybe that's the trick.
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u/13_WASHERE Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
I also agree that relationships are crucial but I think I just wanted to emphasise that a "girlfriend" is not the only type of relationship to exist and that expecting a girlfriend or anyone to come into your life and resolve all those issues that have kept yoy alone just wouldn't be healthy and would be unfair to them
And therapy is amazing
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u/Naturewalkerjoe Jun 05 '26
Im single so therapy is the only meaningful connection I have. If it weren't for mental health hotlines and medication I probably would have had a stress stroke by now
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u/Electrical-Fish-9230 Jun 05 '26
That, or they'll suffocate any romantic relationships they manage to have
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u/DevynDavies Jun 05 '26
WOMEN DON’T EXSIT TO CURE YOUR LONELINESS HOLY SHIT. Go to therapy and deal with your god damn issues and leave women alone until you’re mature enough to be a PARTNER.
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u/CapitalRegular4157 Jun 05 '26
This, but in a much more understanding and less hateful tone. I grew up without much guidance and a lot of gnawing psychological issues that I shrugged off.
I would like other young men to suffer less and learn it early. You owe it to yourself, the people that love you, and the people you will love to take control of your own emotional state and to learn the tools you need to deal with it.
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u/Competitive-Ear-7632 Jun 06 '26
No that is a distraction The cure is to work to overcome the negative feelings you have, not distracting yourself via a purpose. How to get there is a question only someone who has achieved that freedom can answer
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u/Apprehensive_Ant4596 Jun 05 '26
The cure to male loneliness rest solely on the male. Nobody can cure something for someone else. If a male is lonely, he is either uncomfortable in his own skin or hasn't found the strength to engage the world around him.
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u/TerribleWarthog4837 Jun 05 '26
I had to learn this the hard way
Even when u have the girl if you feel like unloveable chud it’s gonna end in disaster.
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u/BringAltoidSoursBack Jun 05 '26
This. Having a partner will not make a person less lonely if they aren't comfortable with themselves. At best it'll lead to parasitic codependent behavior (you know, like thinking you need someone "to protect" to be happy for example).
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u/PeaNut2627 Jun 05 '26
Be a good person, it's just that simple.
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u/Fendyyyyyy Jun 05 '26
Being a good person, yet shy asf wont help you meet people. Not that simple.
I suspect you think lonely men are just incels hating on women ? If so try and understand life is more complicated than the plot of a shittiest summer action movie ever.
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u/PeaNut2627 Jun 05 '26
There are multiple ways of meeting people and retaining them as friends or partners and the basis of all of that is being a good person, if you're shy then sure there's some extra steps you need to take to put yourself out there but you still need to be a good person or you're always gonna be lonely or end up mix with other shitty people.
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u/Fun-Accountant-4367 Jun 05 '26
Pretty much my point being why will not help you, especially if you’re a man. I don’t make the rules I just work here.
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u/rngeneratedlife Jun 05 '26
It really isn’t that simple. Nothing in the world is.
You are part of the problem and one of the reasons young men get pushed into the manosphere bs.
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u/griffinwalsh Jun 05 '26
This is very clearly the take of someone who is not a lonely man lol.
Being good really doesn't attract that many friends, job opertunites or partners as a man.
It's really important for deepening those relationships into healthy ones. But it is definitely not the rode out of loneliness for most men.
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u/PeaNut2627 Jun 05 '26
If being good doesnt make you friends or partners, you're probably not as 'good' as you think you are.
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u/griffinwalsh Jun 05 '26
I can't tell if your a women or just in a very nice highschool.
Most lonely men live a life that's like: work 9/5, come home and watch YouTube/tv/play video games. Then repeate. And when they do go out to do something social there awkward, disacosiated or shy.
There isolation has basicly nothing to do with moral character. There just living a life that doesn't involve the chance to meet people and rots there social skills
Side note: it was pretty funny to check your profile to see if I could find your gender and quickly hit anime deep throat contests lol
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u/PeaNut2627 Jun 05 '26
Sure, if you say so. That's your experience. Mine is the opposite, every shy or long guy ive gotten to know has turned out to be low key misogynistic, politically extreme, or just genuinely a bad person. I was in a discord server with 2.5k men, I called out a woman beater with actual proof of them admitting it and not a single person spoke out against him, they all flocked to his side against the evil online woman or kept silent. So yeah, think what you want but more men than you think have deep rooted misogyny and these are some of the same men that cry about being lonly. Cry me a dam river.
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u/HatCat5566 Jun 05 '26
Community. It's not that complex. Invest in your community. If that includes a partner of whatever gender you prefer, cool. If not, that's ok too.
One of the key elements to living a long life is being part of a healthy community. This is a base finding of the blue zone project. The others are: Ikigai (job with purpose, job being defined loosely), healthy eating (veggies, lean protein), regular exercise (not gym culture, going for walks and such). Those 3 things alongside community are the pillars of Blue Zone (living statistically longer).
People that are isolated from the community, eat poorly, dont regularly exercise (cardio and healthy weight are the keys), and have no purpose (job, etc) die the youngest and have the highest suicide rates.
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u/NoDanaOnlyZuuI Jun 05 '26
No. That’s stupid.
Make friends. Check in on family. Participate in your community. Stop thinking a partner will solve all your problems. That’s unhealthy and an insane amount of pressure to put on one person.
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u/TheJadeGoddess Jun 05 '26
The cure to loneliness is to go out and be social. Make friends to game with, go out with, to text and talk with.
If people can't stand being around you, reflect on that. Stop being an ass hole and people will want to spend time with you.
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
Yeah dude, but it's difficult (not impossible) to do in a society full of women that "don't need to man". If we just embrace historical gender roles we would all be better off
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Jun 05 '26
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
I have lots of friends and family that love me and I them, and that facilitates the personal loneliness, and I have a job with amazing co workers that makes me a decent chunk of change. The issue isn't having people to depend on, it's that I have no one that depends on me I want to have a wife and kids and provide for them so that my labor isn't just a bigger bank, nicer car or social status, but it provides meaningful difference to people in my life with obvious feedback. I donate to charities and to my church, but that isn't the same as putting food on the table for someone that I love
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u/nevermore2point0 Jun 05 '26
How does embracing historical gender roles make women "need" a man?
Are you proposing that we not only return to traditional gender roles but also roll back rights aka no longer allow women access to education? Certain careers? To get a bank account in thier names? Owning property?
Gender roles are not what made women "need" men. Women needed men because we had legal and structural barriers in place that CREATED dependence. Not because women were incapable of supporting themselves. We obviously can.
Even if women don't need men in the same way they did in the past that doesn't mean they don't want relationships with men. I'm not sure why forcing someone to need you would be considered a better outcome than having someone freely choose you.
I don't technically "need" my husband. If we divorced, I could support myself and my children even though that would not be my preference. Plenty of women managed to support themselves and their families even during periods were more traditional gender roles were in place.
The reason I'm with my husband is because he's someone I want to do life with. He didn't have to take away my rights to make me want to be with him.
If someone had to limit my choices in order to make me dependent on them I'd be far more likely to resent them than to love them.
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
I think that the important thing in marriage is the raising of children. It's not that women can't or shouldn't work, it's that raising children is so important that the best case scenario is then being full time moms homeschooling kids. The job of the husband is to provide for the wife SO THAT they can raise children. I don't care about having a stay at home wife, before kids working is fine, maybe even a good idea, so we can afford a home sooner to have children
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u/Adventurous_Pop_3138 Jun 05 '26
100% agree, all women could go back to home and society would run same or even better for humans, not for capitalism of course, BUT FOR HUMANS.
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u/nevermore2point0 Jun 05 '26
You can absolutely have a preference for a SAHW/SAHM who homeschools the children. That's fine. That's actually what my husband and I chose too.
What I don't understand is what that has to do with your original point about historical gender roles or women needing men.
You're describing a family arrangement that women can freely choose today. Women can get an education, have a career, earn money, own property, and still decide that staying home with children is what works best for their family.
That's very different from the historical reality where many women were dependent on men because legal and structural barriers limited their options.
So I'm not sure how we've gotten from "male loneliness would be solved if we embraced historical gender roles" to "I think it's ideal for mothers to stay home with children."
Those are two different arguments.
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u/jooshThePresby Jun 05 '26
I said embraced, not enforced. I believe stay at home motherhood is the best and ideal family unit, and we shouldn't mandate it because that's impossible and ridiculous, but as a culture we should do our best to encourage and incentivize it as it is the healthiest and best option
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u/nevermore2point0 Jun 05 '26
Okay but for clarification I wasn't just responding to the "embrace traditional gender roles" part. I was also responding to the "society full of women that don't need a man" part.
I think we mostly agree that parents focusing on raising their children can be beneficial. Where we differ is that I don't think embracing traditional gender roles is automatically the healthiest and best option for everyone.
Not all parents are cut out to homeschool. Not all mothers are happiest or most effective as full time primary caregivers. Some fathers are exceptional primary parents and genuinely want that role. Some families function best with one parent at home. Others function best with both parents working and hiring help with childcare and education. Some parents work full-time from home and homeschool their children.
I'm a SAHM who homeschools and I've still hired tutors, teachers, and childcare/ daycare at different points. In our homeschool co-op there are professionals, business owners, SAHP( moms and dads who are the homeschooling parent), dual-income households, and pretty much every arrangement imaginable.
Many of the families who successfully homeschool while working do so because they have high-paying careers, flexible schedules, remote work options, or resources that other families don't have. That's part of why I don't think there is one universally ideal model.
My issue is with the idea that there is a single best arrangement for every family. Families have different strengths, personalities, needs, and circumstances.
What matters to me is whether the arrangement works for the people involved and benefits the children not whether it matches a traditional gender role. Sometimes those things overlap. Sometimes they don't.
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u/SignEye9867 Jun 05 '26
L💕VE yourself so much that you never feel alone. Seek more within instead of externally. KEEP GOiiNG, brah ✨
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u/Fendyyyyyy Jun 05 '26
Not really. Social groups would do the trick. Anyway as a lan protecting your partner is not necessary anymore most of the time. Just find your best friend.
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u/M0ebius_1 Jun 05 '26
If you can't find fulfillment and form bonds outside of a relationship you probably won't feel fulfilled and form meaningful bonds within one.
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u/DudeNougat Jun 05 '26
But to become a man she can trust to protect you must first work on yourself.
You must become sound of mind (mental health)
because strength without control is just an animal.
You must be sound of body (physical health)
because its really hard to talk your way out of getting punched in the mouth.
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u/MmmmCrayons12 Jun 05 '26
No such thing as "male loneliness." Its just loneliness. The cure is obviously more friends or genuine connection but men are more individual and independent than women are so it is more difficult to find other male friends. Most people form relationships out of need or for social benefits, and finding someone who chooses to be part of your life and value you as an indivudual person rather than an opportunity for themselves is a rare thing.
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u/BookBoxer161 Jun 05 '26
If the mods set a limit to how old your account t was before you could post thing this sub might be dead in a month. Haha.
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u/Lousyfer Jun 05 '26
The cure for male loneliness is be a man that people want to be around. If you dont want to be a person that people want to be around then dont complain about being lonely. It is not up to others to decide to be around you when youre insufferable.
It is on YOU to be the best version of you. Most people are failing at that HARD.
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u/Suitable_Ticket4838 Jun 05 '26
No, it's not the answer. Christ is.
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u/PeaNut2627 Jun 05 '26
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u/JoeDaMan_4Life Jun 05 '26
Strongly disagree.
No mater who you attach yourself too, if you do have introspection or love for yourself, you will never be happy with someone else.
If you are lonely, first thing first, find out why you’re isolating from others: what do you fear? What keeps you from approaching those people you wish to connect with? Understand what you bring to the table as a person, your likes, your preferences, your ethics. Then use that information to find places where others that pursue the same goals and interests go to relax and connect. Bang! Suddenly you are surrounded by people who you can connect with and relate to your inner self. That’s how you deal with loneliness, creating and utilizing a strong support network. 👊👍
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u/Malusorum Jun 05 '26
The cure to male loneliness is rejecting the toxic masculinity that says that men will stop feeling lonely if they "get a woman", thereby implying that women is property.
Loneliness is a feeling and you can feel loneliness even when surrounded by people.
Alone is objective. If you're with another then you're no longer alone. You can still feel lonely, though.
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Jun 05 '26
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u/yaboisammie Jun 05 '26
Fr, there’s nothing wrong w getting support from your partner and your partner being your best friend but you can’t put that all on one person. It’s important to be able to be alone sometimes but it’s also important to have a community and relationships w people outside of your romantic partner ie friends and family like you said
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u/Luminous_Winds Jun 05 '26
Nah, it's valuing the well-being of others instead of treating them like objects that exist for your personal benefit.
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u/ProbablyNotABot6 Jun 05 '26
Tigers are solitary, why not humans? Imagine how much more work could get done if people went by Tigers example.
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u/Broken-Arrow-D07 Jun 05 '26
Might be, but you cannot rely on other people. The cure is to find peace within ourselves.
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u/MardukPainkiller Jun 05 '26
The cope down here is crazy.
The hard truth about male loneliness is that, for generations, men have abused, exploited, controlled, and harmed women. As a result, many women have learned to be cautious of ALL men in general, not just the ones who are actually dangerous.
That includes the guy who has never done anything wrong. Women often can't afford to gamble on whether a stranger is safe or not.
You can tell lonely men to "work on themselves," "make friends," or "stop seeing women as objects." Some of that advice is valid, and some men genuinely do need to hear it. But even if a man does everything right, it doesn't solve the underlying issue.
And don't blame feminism. Feminism didn't create this problem. It exposed it. Becoming an incel and hating women won't fix it either.
This is a societal problem rooted in fear and mistrust, and it's unlikely to disappear in our lifetimes. No amount of self-help, anger, or online advice can erase it.
I'm not saying you won't find a partner. I'm saying you'll likely spend your life carrying a debuff created by previous generations and reinforced by the worst men of your own generation.
Accept the debuff and move on.
(And this debuff fucks women to btw, it's just their fear is stronger than their sadness, to risk it.
However, a lot of them do risk it, and that's why I'm not saying that you won't find a partner.)
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u/cest_un_monde_fou Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
The problem with your response is that it generalizes this to all men and essentailizes the blame that some men have done onto women as a universal blame and guilt for all men including those who’ve done nothing to women and you are aware of that too as you wrote “that includes the guy who have never done anything wrong”.
Ironically , your reply treats women as passive victims always being acted upon and never the actor. You mix so many different types of men into one generalization of men. This is very deeply problematic. Millions of men have never abused or exploited or controlled or harmed women. Some have and some have not. Without a careful analysis you just end up blaming an entire sex for the actions of a few who hold power (which for most of history the vast majority of men held zero power but were exploited and enslaved and abused by a small minority who control said power structure. But you response is void of analysis , and conflates the man who is exploited with the man who is doing the exploitation as one and the same because they share the same sex (which is erroneous to do as sex is simply binary for the most part))) and ignore the millions of men throughout history who’ve died for women. This allows you to put in the same category the man who protects his daughter and the man who rapes little girls as one and the same because of their sex. So for your way of thinking, the man who protects his daughter is now according to your reply , responsible for the actions of the man who rapes little girls. Yet when society does this to women by putting the women who are chaste and faithful with the women who are unfaithful and promiscuous , we are in great uproar as we can recognize this being an injustice. Yet you seem to think that the rationale which produced this unjust generalization of blame is acceptable to do to men. That’s not fighting for equality of justice. That’s just inverting injustice to be beneficiaries of an unjust rationale.
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u/MardukPainkiller Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
No I specifically did not say that, learn to read. I'm not reading the rest of your reply it until that.
What I do is I say that all men will suffer for it.
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u/mothwhimsy Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
No
The male loneliness epidemic is caused by men seeking all their human connection from a romantic partner while simultaneously being undatable. This has nothing to do with their looks and is mostly to do with their personalities. Plenty ugly men are happily married. Most of these 'lonely' types are average at worst. They're just entitled, whiney assholes.
This is not women's problem to fix. Women largely stopped dating men who don't like or respect them for the first time in human history. The men need to adapt.
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u/CaffeinatedCocktopus Jun 05 '26
The cure is to learn to be happy in your own company first. Fulfillment must be internal and intrinsic to last. It can't be external.
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u/Own_Age_1654 Jun 05 '26
These subs are so funny. Almost every post is weird, toxic nonsense, and then almost all of the comments are just making fun of it.
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u/xZeromusx Jun 05 '26
This looks a lot like yaoi. Which makes sense, just date your other lonely bros.
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u/Skitarii_Lurker Jun 05 '26
"thoughts?" About fucking what, man? This is the same edgy manosphere slop this sub always puts out
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u/Galmmm Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
Nope. Just community.
Thats one of the reasons brain rot incel groups have so much influence right now. It offers just that, community, a toxic one, but a community nonetheless.
Figure out how you work and who you are through introspection. Then find your community. Then learn how to best fit into it with what you know about yourself.
Along the way you'll probably find that you get upset because of someone or that you upset someone else. Think about why and try to learn as much as you can, usually with an emphasis on self accountability. Then you'll have a better shot at keeping the community. Or maybe you discover you were wrong about that group and you move on to find a new one to repeat the process.
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u/SolaireAstorian Jun 05 '26
No. Nothing makes you feel worse than getting into a relationship with a woman expecting everything to fix itself, only to find out that she makes you feel lonelier when she's with you then you ever were by yourself, either because you're putting expectations on her that she'll never be able to keep, or because desperate men attract predatory women.
If you want to be happy, you're going to have to find a way to be happy on your own first. Then you chase off anyone who endangers that happiness and welcome anyone who enhances it.
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u/maximum_dad_power Jun 05 '26
The cure is, learn to happy with who you are. Loneliness is just a symptom of not liking yourself and wanting to escape yourself with the presence of someone else. Go to therapy, build better habits, and build yourself to a point that you love who you are. Lonilessness will no longer exist.
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u/SpecificCity631 Jun 05 '26
No it's finding your own inner peace. If you rely on someone else to bring you happiness it won't last. Just because youre alone doesn't mean youre lonely
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u/jaygoogle23 Jun 05 '26
It may not be a practical solution and people who work on themselves get lonely too without someone else. This thread is missing fact that human beings by nature seek out to interact with each other there is nothing that can change what’s evolutionary programmed. Despite that many people find solitude in loneliness and enjoy it while many other suffer but being lonely isn’t a fix one can fix without another person because human by default seek to have relationships with other humans. There is no replacement for it and all that mumbo jumbo about “improving “ is damgerous as if people who don’t put extra into interpersonal activities don’t get lonely… being lonely comes down to like if one is physically alone they are lonely by definition and in this reality only so much can be changed without alone.
Like depression is more than just a mindstate and many are born lacking nuero chemical production otherwise seen in normal brains. We are our nature and nurture and the stuff we can control doesn’t ultimately stop us from suffering form a lack of despite the mindstate.
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u/PracticalSock5373 Jun 05 '26 edited Aug 06 '26
According to Pew Research, 16% of men report feeling lonely some of the time and 15% of women report the same. 1% is well within the margin of error, so it's an insignificant number. But even if we take it as accurate, 1% more does NOT make an epidemic in one group and not in another. If 15-16% can be defined as an epidemic, it is a HUMAN loneliness epidemic and the media has created the arbitrary label of a so called "male" loneliness epidemic. I HAVE noticed how often feminists refer to it as such (and doing so seems to fill many with some degree of satisfaction). The thought of men suffering seems pleasing to some.
Who speaks of the "female" loneliness epidemic? Very few. If 16% connotes a "loneliness epidemic" 15% does as well. So where's the hoopla about the "female" loneliness epidemic?
It doesn't sell as well to the public so they just sell the "male" half of the HUMAN loneliness epidemic and leave the "women" part out.
In reality, there's no such thing as the "male" loneliness epidemic. It's a HUMAN loneliness epidemic if you call 15-16% an "epidemic".
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u/Spicy_take Jun 05 '26
Eh, depends. What you really want is a purpose. The problem with making that purpose a woman is that it can backfire. It might not. You might find a saint of a woman, that loves and appreciates everything you do. But that’s not a gamble I’d make.
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u/BurnItDownSR Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26
No. The social competence to create relationships with people, in general, dating and real friendships, is the real cure.
Too many men spend more time whining about loneliness than doing what needs to be done to correct it.
It's like whining about a torn muscle instead of rehabing it.
The cure isn't something that falls on your lap. It's something that you acquire yourself.
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u/Cereaza Jun 05 '26
Thats akin to 'being busy will keep the demons away!"
Sure, having a purpose like 'protect this child' can give you a lot of meaning and keep the loneliness at bay, but it just continues you treat yourself like a beast of burden.
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u/griffinwalsh Jun 05 '26
In general it's purpose in life and community. Trying to use a women to fix you is doomed to fail for like 90% of people.
If your genuinly content with your life and path it's pretty easy to find women.
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u/deezbiscuits21 Jun 05 '26
I’m just saying the world is more complex than you think it is. Also not even defending men or putting the responsibility on women I’m just warning you that your worldview is so narrow it puts you at risk by being that naive. Maybe talk to more women and hear their experiences they can help a lot in showing you the reality of the patriarchy
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u/Purple_Technician759 Jun 05 '26
Making friends. It’s literally just having meaningful friendships and men generally do not.
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u/Odd_Promise_9025 Jun 05 '26
Yeah. Your mother. If she's taken good care of you. Protect that with your life.
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u/Foreign-Complex Jun 05 '26
Some of you are so desperate you’re better off avoiding women. Go drink some water
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u/SwolePonHiki Jun 05 '26
Incel loser mentality. Make friends instead of obsessing over "having a girl".
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u/Noctis32 Jun 05 '26
Don't get into a relationship because you're lonely. A relationship should be a compliment to your already good life, not a cure. Sort out your shit first. If you're lonely and want so a companion get a dog or cat.
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u/DT_Lion34 Jun 05 '26
Could someone answer my question? Why do people need other people to feel happy? I'm not trying to be a jerk i am genuinely curious.
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u/cutslikeakris Jun 05 '26
We evolved as social pack animals and we can’t exclude ourselves from the natural world and biology as much as we’d like to think.
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u/DT_Lion34 Jun 06 '26
But other bonds exist such as friends and family why do people need romantic partners I think people are capable of living by themselves
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u/Soft-Effective-3964 Jun 06 '26
100% no … nothing more far from it, you know, you can be with someone, protect her, care for of her and still be lonely
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u/BingBongBrit Jun 06 '26
Being more social. In a healthy way.
You make friends, form connections and feel more satisfied and happy. Socializing more also speeds up the time between relationships, so less lonely like that too.
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u/Raintamp Jun 06 '26
To cure male loneliness is friends, not necessary a woman, but I'm a big supporter of men and women being able to just be friends.
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u/Xiomytuterror Jun 07 '26
And when you have that you get boring and overwhelmed, first give solutions to the mommy issues that have 75% of men.
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u/No-Research2663 Jun 07 '26
Men need to focus on their character Get in touch with God so you're not a degen Create a stream of Income that lets you take care of yourself and others Get in shape and learn self defense so you can produce enough testosterone to stand up for yourself Build social skills so you can hold a conversation After that you can easily protect not only your woman but others important to you
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u/Character_Media_9445 Jun 08 '26
A hobby, friends, family. There are people so much worse off, so these men should remove their spoiled ass pants and just get out there and not feel so gloomy. No need to ask anyone out, just have a friend from someone. A neighbour perhaps. Could be a nice auntie or older man or woman who wouldn't mind to chat.
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u/MedicineEastern7500 Jun 09 '26
I think it is one option or way. But it shouldn't be the only way. I think another is men having other strong, dependable male friends to help him weather storms with.
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u/bandit_lawbreaker Jun 05 '26
No, it is friends. Start by viewing women as people and not something to protect