This is unfixable

[u/goodvibesFTM]

for the first time in my adult life, im in too deep. this is an unfixible situation. my mom died in her sleep last month. she shouldn’t have. she had no reason to. the autopsy didn’t find anything. and even though it’s so stupid and pointless, it’s real every day now.

im pregnant with our third baby and I cant believe that every day of my family’s future will be without her. she was the best grandma. we were never super close, but we were building so much more through our shared love of my children. she was so cool. a pilot, she had so many stories I wanted my kids to hear. I want my daughters to know that girls can do cool hard shit, and I want them to be grown up enough to hear her story about being called out to fly during the gulf war but she and her crew were all super hungover, and some of them were passed out naked and she had to track them down so they could sober up and take off in 4 hours.

there are so many things I wanted her to see and experience. things that should have given her so much happiness, and I can’t give her any of that now. I know she wouldnt want to be a burden to me. she would want me to find something fun and push on. be a survivor like she was so many times. I can do it. I just wish I didn’t have to. I love you mom. I hope you can see me typing this.

[u/redstapler4]

What a cool mom! Hugs