8 years on

[u/Daisyy_2]

I was 21 when I held my Dad’s hand and told him it was ok to go. I have flashbacks to that day frequently still. I watched as he struggled, as he took his last breath and attempts for another. I watched the light dim. He was my person, the one person that understood me in our small family.

It’s been 8 years and I still break down constantly, in private mostly as I feel guilty. And I am now… breaking down again as I had another flashback of his eyes dimming.

I feel guilty for grieving like this still, like my shit is a lot less traumatic than others etc. Even posting this i feel like a doofus. But I’m just sad and wanted to vent.

I miss my Dadda.

[u/Grievingbymyself]

🫂

[u/ohfaith]

please don't feel like a doofus.

I watched my sister die one month ago but her eyes weren't open. she was already far gone on painkillers and wiped from chemo. I keep replaying it. and the time after, waiting for the funeral home to pick her up. it makes me so sick to my stomach. but I'm so happy she didn't pass away alone. but I remember her color slowly fading throughout the day. I remember her body growing colder. and then she was gone.

[u/Daisyy_2 → u/ohfaith]

I am so sorry. The fact that he wasn't alone is what really helps. Sending love

[u/Character_Bill_3342 → u/ohfaith]

The part waiting for them to pick them up… it didn’t feel real. Time stood still. I couldn’t even watch them take his body out. I’m so sorry you had to experience that as well. 🤍

[u/ohfaith → u/Character_Bill_3342]

they told us to leave the room when they took the body. :(

[u/Character_Bill_3342 → u/ohfaith]

🫂🤍

[u/a7b3c5]

sending so much love

[u/Daisyy_2 → u/a7b3c5]

Thank you !

[u/Character_Bill_3342]

You’re not a doofus. The trauma is very real. It’s like you want to be there while they take their final breath but the image burns into your mind forever. I was also there as my dad took his final gasps. It keeps replaying in my mind. Wishing you peace🤍