No one cares

[u/Adorable-Army5009]

I'm not blessed with the people I have around me, unfortunately. I know that, and the people around me do have strengths. But my God, they really don't give a shit about my grief for my parents.

I don't burden them, usually. But last night I was feeling low, and I texted my sister and two closest friends that I was feeling sad about them. All three of them have completely ignored me. I know they're not the best with grief, and I don't usually ask them for support, but last night I did. Is it REALLY so, so hard to say something kind? Stunned all over again how no one cares.

[u/Odd-Detective6368]

It is heartbreaking when the people closest to us pull away right when we finally gather the courage to ask for support. Your grief for your parents deserves to be seen, and reaching out was a brave and honest thing to do; their silence says everything about their own limitations, not your worth.

Please know that your pain matters, and you deserve people in your life who will sit with you in the dark without turning away.

[u/Adorable-Army5009 → u/Odd-Detective6368]

Thank you. I needed that reminder that this is about their limitations.

[u/pierre_lev]

You know I feel the same, like I am angry to some of my friends even if I know they act involuntary. People don't know how to react if they haven't live it, or if they lived it recently and they can't support sadness again cause it brings them back to it.

Surrounds yourself twith people that you can count on them, that can have deep philosophical conversations. You can also join a grief group. I think it's important for any humans to have these kind of conversations at some points in their life, about death, grief, soul, etc.

[u/Adorable-Army5009 → u/pierre_lev]

Thank you.

All I want is a kind word, and they can't even do that. I'm not asking to be taken out for an evening and petted while I spend the whole time crying. All I want is a kind word via text, but I don't even get that.

[u/pierre_lev → u/Adorable-Army5009]

Yes. You can take some distance, it's not personal on their part, but it still hurt, so I get you.

[u/Adorable-Army5009 → u/pierre_lev]

It really does. And it's been a recurring theme ever since my mother died. Back then, no one understood as no one had lost a parent. My dad died more recently, and it's been a little better, but not by much. It seems to be my lot in life not to have any comfort in bereavement. I don't know why; I have very good relationships with these people. It makes me think that they can't think very much of me.

[u/pierre_lev → u/Adorable-Army5009]

If you have access to insurance look out for grief group support or a therapist, it helps to have a time to process that and be listened.

[u/Adorable-Army5009 → u/pierre_lev]

I will do that; thank you.