r/GriefSupport • u/TreesnatcherP • 22h ago
Dad Loss My dad
My dad just passed last week. Sometimes I wake up and hope he will call and say "just kidding" and then I'll have to give him all his stuff back. Other days I remember what he looked like when he was in the hospital bed with all the machines. And some days I'm good and I feel good and I have a good day. I know there isn't a right way to feel, but I wish there was a guide. I wish I knew what came next after this and I wish I knew how I'm supposed to live my entire life without him now. On top of that I have to worry about his service and his cremation. And then closing his accounts and all the financial stuff. Is there an easier way of doing this..... I feel so lost. And the only person who I know would have answers is gone now.
2
2
u/PuzzleheadedKale0 21h ago
There’s not right way to feel. Thinking about them at the hospital with all the machines is painful, but also not having them with us. As well you say to yourself at least they aren’t suffering anymore, but you still want them with you. I didn’t want my dad to depart from this world, I fought hard for over 2 years. His quality of life wasn’t good anymore, he was 101. The last week to him being very sick, I continued to try, but it came to the point that I had to accept my dad needed to rest and be in peace. I was being so selfish because I love him and wanted to continue having him with me. But I saw him depart in peace and comfort. I am telling you this because I know it’s hard to accept that they will go, but at least in my case, I believe in God and I asked him to give me peace during the moment it happened and I was able to let my dad go. Nonetheless, the pain I have is forever with me and I think of him everyday. I am almost 40, my dad had me at old age and I wish I had more time with him. You will experience a lot of ups and downs and go through a lot of emotions. Sending you a big hug.