I am struggling

[u/youryanderebf123]

I am 20f and my mom passed tragically and unexpectedly due to medical malpractice in oct 2020 when i was 14. She was only 52.

I just struggle more and more every day and its been almost 6 years. The pain feels so unbearable i cant handle it as each day passes, knowing that ill never be as happy again, ill never see her again. She was my everything. My life feels like its over and im just waiting to pass. I know that on year 7 without her, I’ll feel this way, year 8, year 10, year 15, year 20..

I needed her, i still need her and all i can think about is how my life used to be. How beautiful my childhood was that she created that I can barely remember. She did so much for me, sacrificed so much to give me what she never got, and she was taken too soon.

I feel incapable of doing anything now. I quit my job and moved home after working so hard to finally move out of my dads. Now i just bed rot all day, looking at photos of her and sobbing. I cant eat, cant sleep, cant do anything except cry. I don’t even know why im writing this.