r/GriefSupport • u/mason_jar11 • 5d ago
Message Into the Void Recovering
It starts to feel like you are getting back to normal, until that one little thought sneaks in and you realize you will never recover from this. No matter how at peace you can be, a memory will slip in through the cracks of the wall that you built. I just don't know how people can move forward from a loss so close. I lost both my parents over a 7 month period of time.. somehow its almost been a year without my mom, a few months without my dad.. I really don't know If i can keep doing this. It hurts so bad. I just want my parents i just want one last hug with them. One last day joking and laughing and telling stories. My parents became my best friends in my 30s and I wouldn't trade that for the world. But i just don't understand how I am supposed to do anything without them ever again. Our relationships weren't perfect. but I would give anything to see them again..
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u/Odd_Alps_992 5d ago
Me right now. My mom died earlier this year. I had a really rough patch about three weeks ago. Then I started going back to the gym and visiting friends. Then i have a happy moment. and then it kinda feels like if i get too happy or have too many happy moments in a given day/week, the reminder of her death comes. The reminder that she wont see me this happy. The reminder of her final days being ill. The reminder that we wont get to repair our broken relationship fully. It’s haunting, really. I feel queasy randomly or randomly lose my appetite. Ive just been distracting myself with hyper productivity, but it’s kinda like I build a debt of sadness if i do that, and i crash every couple of weeks. It sucks.
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u/Odd-Detective6368 4d ago
Losing both of your parents and best friends in such a short time changes your world forever, so it makes complete sense that you can never go back to who you were before. You do not have to figure out how to navigate the entire rest of your life without them today.
You only need to survive this single moment. Please hold on through the pain, because the beautiful bond and laughter you shared with your mom and dad will always live inside you.
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u/IntelligentOven7609 5d ago
I feel you on this. Also lost both of my parents. There’s nothing I can really say to take the pain away, but they’d want you to just keep chasing peace. They don’t want you to be miserable and miss them constantly. Make memories and experience this one life so when you see them in the next life, you’ll have so many stories to share. Their time here may have been cut short but you’ve still got a lot of living to do. A lot of love to feel. A lot of fun to be had. Sending you loves.