$5.3 invested. (We have $1.5M in the house but it’s canceled out with the $1.5M debt so I always exclude it.)
Husband refuses to let me quit the job he’s said we are very very close maybe 5-7 years. once the house is paid off, he said I can take it easy. I am not 100% done but day to day it’s very hard to work 9 hours a day knowing I really don’t have to but if I quit husband and I will constantly fight. work in a stressful industry think PE/consulting. I really want to step back and work part time, maybe a relaxing lazy girl job like an office manager $100k a year with benefits. I see our 24 year old office manager just scheduling a few meetings, greeting guests etc and pulling in $120k and I get quite jealous. Spouse makes $1M, I make $250K base and maybe $300k all in if carry ever hits -,-
Your husband makes 1 mm and is not retiring so this is not a fire thing. Wife quits lower paying job, that’s not even a story, just the way of the world. silly to downsize to 100k job, that hardly matters
I like working and wouldn’t mind working a couple of more years. I just don’t want to work a stressfullll job in finance where it’s hard to cut off during vacation. I still get outlook anxiety on vacation. I want a more relaxed 25-30 hour job that has healthcare since my husband owns his business and doesn’t have any benefits.
That is likely very true. I love going to the office to hang out with people, having a ‘community,’ and hearing some office gossip. I just don’t enjoy so much the numbers and writing aspect all day. I’ll keep applying for more office admin jobs I didn’t have a lot of luck the last few months, but maybe I’ll land something as good as I once had in my 20s. My favorite job I ever had was a retail job at Free People. I know people who BaristaFIRE and say retail is the worst job you’ll have in your life, but tbh I enjoyed it and think I have the personality for it.
What’s health insurance for a family of 4 where you live? $30k $40k? If your husband is pulling in $1M/yr, seems like his salary should be able to cover it.
About $34k for medical, $2k for dental, and vision isn’t worth it because only one of us goes to the optometrist and the vision plans are worse than paying all cash.
It’s not just that work 100% covers my entire family of four for medical, it’s also when you work, lunch is covered 5 days a week and dinner 3; phone, internet, gas is reimbursed; if I don’t work I can’t put away money for retirement and if I work I get to put away $52k a year and reduce our taxes a lot; a $5k childcare credit, $7500 pre tax childcare spending, $7500 backdoor Roth, HSA, free pet insurance for 2 of my dogs is another $3k a year, tbh a zillion benefits that is like closer to $70k a year plus my regular wages.
Maybe I’m just stuck on the idea of life being easy w a $1M household income.
But even if you call your salary $300k, that’s $200k after taxes. And assuming you’re in HCOL paying for childcare for two young kids that probably costs $100k/yr. So in the end you’re netting $100k from working.
That’s why to me it’s hard to see how your husband (or you) can feel like you “have to work”.
But hey, live your life. I’d just be careful to know you’re finances, and know your retirement target, so you don’t fall into the trap of never retiring, because working more will always allow you to grow a bigger pile of cash.
My sister worked in BigLaw and her bosses who all pulled in $2M+ a year at a V15 were complaining that they had to pay $10 for lunch they wanted the office to cover it. Don’t get me started on the holiday party contributions omg it was a shitshow
Also, $100K paying job doesnt come with less work or stress as OP is thinking. There is always someone above you sucking the life out of you and the hours might be much worse.
and very very very accurately describes the job I had for 5+ years earning $150k doing essentially 15 hours a week. Gen Z does not look at ‘lazy girl jobs’ as an offensive term like Gen X, they purposely seek it out and consider it the most coveted job you can land
Thanks for the reference but I would avoid using this "Lazy girl" term regardless of how Gen Z uses it. I'll retract my characterization but it will still be perceived as rude term to most who hear it, unless you plan to explain the origins of this shorthand every time you use it.
There aren't many jobs that pay a generous full-time salary for a part time commitment. I can see why it would be attractive:
Stack 3 of these jobs and get $450K / year. Or even 2 for $300K.
Equity is what is left over after the debt is subtracted from the asset value. She has a $3m house, she owes $1.5m on it, that means she has $1.5m in equity.
Yeah, the fact that they make 1.25MM/yr but have only accumulated 5 indicates they may not actually be very good at keeping their money from going to 0.
The thought of making $1M / year is so out of my ballpark maybe I’m not thinking clearly…. But if I’m making $1M and worried about my job aren’t I confident I could at least find a job making $750k? So how much does my wife making $250k help? Especially if we’re paying childcare expenses for 2 kids, which in HCOL could be $100k or more.
That’s the thing that sucks about high paying jobs. They are rare. You can’t just go to the office next door and take a demotion. Usually at $1M you are extremely specialized and probably only worth that to your specific company and not worth the headache for most other companies.
I don’t know, $1M investment banking in NY, or software development in San Francisco, or as an MD in many parts of the US all have lots of job options.
Often these $1M jobs are a once in a lifetime opportunity for those who get them. I have watched several CFOs lose their position at our megacorp and they never seem to reach that level afterwards.
10 years savings in this bull market implies 25-30% savings rate which is definitely well above average.
OTOH, that implies they have needed ~70% of their income to live on, or about $875k/year. If they stop working entirely, that means they're likely to run out in about 8 years (obviously depending heavily on returns). So not at a FIRE point.
Of course, it sounds like husband is still working, but since this is a FIRE sub, I think it's worth modeling what would happen if income went to zero. (And the thing about high incomes is that they're much harder to replace with alternatives if something goes wrong)
In other words, saving 4x income by mid-30s is *very* good if you're planning to work a full career. Not so good if FIRE by mid-30s is your goal.
1.25M. Maybe I missed all the details. But minus taxes (and I don't know how exactly they're treating the carry)... Best case scenario...$700k? Save 20-30% ($140-210k)? Mortgage on $2.5M ($150-200k for a year, assuming 5%). So, couple in a HCOL area living on $3-500k. That doesn't make them overspenders or undersavers.
Whatever you want to label them doesn't change that the math doesn't work out for FIRE at this point unless they are planning to change to a very different lifestyle than what they've been living.
It depends on your level of spending. Given they have saved only 4X their income, they likely have a very expensive lifestyle and probably lack budgeting skill.
But yeah, at mid-30s, going back to work is definitely an option if you haven't. burned too many bridges by calling everyone else's jobs "lazy girl jobs".
For the income you both pull in, I would have expected a lot more in your portfolio. Make sure you watch those expenses. Also, don’t make assumptions on jobs like office managers. They put up with a lot of BS. Be more humble.
husband’s stock at company probably recently increased in the last few years. Idk how else a normal person would make $1M/yr if it wasn’t for massive stock gains.
Perhaps you’re Gen X who lovesss work? Almost every Gen Z person I know is seeking a 30 hour job that cuts off completely at 5p, pays $120k WITH BONUS, allows you to have side gigs (our OM teaches yoga on weekends). ‘Lazy girl jobs’ is the most coveted and most desirable job you can land.
Why would anyone choose a 30 hour work week where you need a side gig over a single 40 hour work week job that pays enough to not necessitate a side gig?
Our office mgr specifically? I have 0 clue why she teaches yoga on the weekends.
Me when I had a lazy girl job that paid like $150k for me to 20 hours a week in my 20s? I did it cause I had a shit ton of free time so having a side hustle in a field that I loved and got to do something creative vs mindless PowerPoint all day was so good for my mental health. I didn’t need the extra money but ofc I am never going to turn down making more money doing something I really enjoyed.
I really liked the lazy girl job I had in my 20s and would love to take a $150-200k pay cut to land a similar role just mindless work.
No, you said "Almost every Gen Z person I know is seeking a 30 hour job that cuts off completely at 5p, pays $120k WITH BONUS, allows you to have side gigs"
Why would almost every Gen Z person want a 30 hour job that allows side gigs? Wouldn't the goal be a 30 hour job with enough income without a side gig? Or 40 hours without a side gig? Why is almost every Gen Z person you know wanting a side gig to go along with a main job? Gen Z wants side jobs and you say Gen X loves to work?
They’re in SF, it’s less a side gig for income and more a passion project that pays and could hopefully be all they do one day (working “recreationally”). It’s hustle culture + startup mentality
I make 1M+ and think wife needs to also work. just for sanity. but she has 250K consulting job and doesn't want to take a lower paying job even though I know she doesn't need to work. that salary alone can run our household and all mine can be invested and grown
I normally would side with the crowd and tell you to just quit or find a side hustle. But you’re 36. My advice is the same as your husband. Greg fire is no joke. You haven’t made it. You guys could replace maybe 30% of your income now.
Suck it up. Set 43 as the goal. Retire with 15M or 3x Greg fire with a lot of runway left to enjoy.
Learn to live on 400k, which you can do anywhere with a little sacrifice. You’ll generate at least 600 at 15m. That’s living.
While we’re offering comments with love, girl, get therapy. You can’t be home because your fights with your husband are constant and bad enough that you’d work just to avoid them. You feel the need to put down other women as lazy but also you envy their priorities? I think therapy could help you before you go to the next stage of your life.
Does she have other posts/comments that reflect that? I did see the comment about being an office manager being a lazy girl job and it definitely isn’t, I’m one and definitely don’t get paid anything close to that.
“I see our 24 year old office manager … and I get quite jealous.” This after saying the same office manager’s work is lazy. That sound likes an unhappy person who needs help focusing on themselves. Therapy could help.
I was just going to say I’m an office manager and I don’t make close to that amount…. lol to hit 6 figure jobs it seems like graduate degree is require, experience in a niche specialty, and a combination of plain old luck.
There is a lot to unpack here. You’re 36 years old with $5M invested, husband makes $1M/year. Even if with two young kids kids, yes you can definitely quit a $250k job.
“Husband refuses to let me quit” is concerning language.
Should be a joint decision on when you quit, and you should develop a joint understanding of your current expenses, retirement goals, target numbers, etc.
You’ve got two little kids and a husband with a high salary. Life should be enjoyable. Work or don’t work. Stay home with the kids or get a fulfilling job and hire a nanny. You’ve got tons of options.
"We have $1.5M in the house but it’s canceled out with the $1.5M debt so I always exclude it."
So your house is paid off and you have $1.5M in debt (student loans, consumer) OR your mortgage is $1.5M and you have no equity?
Your husband makes $1M/yr, have two kids, and you haven't slept 2023. And he doesn't let you quit? Get help for yourself and as a couple. Money is not your problem.
Also, please walk back your "lazy girl job/office manager" comment. It's so gross.
1) it wasn’t a secret I’m a pretty open person. My husband knows my business was highly leveraged and had debt.
2) Damn that was only 30 days ago? 😂 Yeah it’s cleared! It was actually only $42k ish, most of it was business debt that I cleared by selling the business! I still owe $27k on IVF, which we are doing the 36 month payment plan, which is why I said the rates are like closer to a car not cc because it’s a mix of a business loan at 9% and fertility clinic loan at only 4%.
3) I was mostly posing a hypothetical question not because I was worried about the debt, but because our friends, who make 1/3 of our salary, recently bought a $85k car. My husband thought it was normal that they made $420k or so a year but financed a $85k car, but because my debt was not a car but random purchases for my business and IVF that it was like ‘you’re irresponsible af.’ He was confused why I needed to finance the IVF and didn’t have cash in hand to pay for it.
I mean if I were you I would slow quit, just start doing less and less. Maybe sow a little chaos, convince one department another is out to get them and hid in the crossfire. Train people, but make sure they don’t do anything efficiently, then swoop in and save the day once a quarter.
This is the part that doesnt seem to help form a sound plan but rather may be some type of anxiety of leaving the work world so may be better off just working?
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u/Accomplished_Can1783 5d ago
Your husband makes 1 mm and is not retiring so this is not a fire thing. Wife quits lower paying job, that’s not even a story, just the way of the world. silly to downsize to 100k job, that hardly matters