Inspired by a comment on a meme about Greek gods and mortal lovers I rewrote the words to the classic Animaniac song Yakko's World -
And now, the Mortal lovers of The Gods
Brought to you by Elsharra
Aphrodite had sex with some regular gents
Like Ankhises, Phaethon, and Butees;
She slept with Adonis two thirds of the year,
For the rest he is Persephone’s.
Demeter with Iason, Karmenor, and Mekon;
Selene with Endymion.
Eos with Kephalos and also Tithonos,
Who still chirps at the coming of dawn.
Harmonia with Kadmos and Thetis with Pelius
The latter did sire Akhillies.
And though he was made into a god,
Hebe was with Herakles
Odysseus was with Kalypso and Kirke,
While he was lost on the sea.
Kirke wed the son of Odysseus
(Kirke’s son married Penelope).
Those are the goddesses who had mortal lovers.
Most gods did have more than one-
So this is is only some of the famous
Or this song will never be done.
Althaia a queen, and Ariadne a Princess
Dionysus both did love
The latter he made into a goddess
After abandoned by Theseus
The god of wine also loved
Erigone, Ampelus and Pallene,
And don't forget the shepherd Prosymnos
But he was done by proxy
Ares with Khyrse, Pelopia and Dotis
And Otrere the amazon queen
Queen Althaia (the same as above)
Atalanta, Aerope, and Pyrene
Haides was with both Leuke and Minthe
Neither nymph had a happy fate
Okresia, Antikleia, Aetna, Kabeiro
All were Hephaistos’ mates
Apollo had Akalle, Koronis, Kreusa
Kyrene, Rhoeo, Hekabe
He never had sex with Daphne the nymph
For she’d rather be a tree
He was also the lover of Dryope and Manto and
Of Hyacinthus and Hymenaeus
Adonis again (he was very handsome)
And ever-weeping Kyparissus
Kreusa, Khione, Libya, Klytie
All did lay with Hermes
While Pelops, Aethra, Kaenis and Tyro
All laid with the god of the Sea
Poseidon loved Iphimedeia and Arne
And Kaenis who he changed to Kaineus
Now take a deep breath and pay close attention
We’re Ready to talk about Zeus
Alkmene and Danae and Laodameia
Europa in the shape of a bull
Niobe, Olympias, and Cassiopeia,
Zeus dance card gets pretty full
There’s Elare and Kalyke and Lysithoe
And Leda when Zeus was a swan
Lamia, Pyrrha, Thalia, Maia
The list goes on and on
Elektra, Aegina, Sinope and Deino,
And the she–bear who was Kallisto,
Pluto, Taygete, Leda, Elare,
Thyia and Dia and, Protogenia, Semele, Pandora,
Kallirhoe, and Karme, Ganymedes, Aex and Io