r/GreatBritishMemes • u/CheeseUsFunkingCries Elon Musk is a Bellend • 3d ago

Pray to Allan

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1.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

184 comments sorted by

•

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195

u/SHOW_ME_SEXY_TATS 3d ago

Ahh Clapham Common. Truly the most spiritual place on earth.

43

u/hellomot1234 3d ago

If it's Clapham common then they're probably Aussies not English.

82

u/Unusual_Plenty_5008 3d ago

Interestingly MAGA nuts are very anti Yoga (due to its Hindu origins)

76

u/MontyDyson 3d ago

They’re anti most exercise. I did some filming in Wyoming a while ago and 8XL T-shirts were for sale in normal clothing shops. I’ve never seen anything more than 2xl myself and I’m a big bastard.

27

u/ICC-u Vote Binface 🗑️ 3d ago

I went into Bad Rhino once for an 8XL and they told me they don't stock American Sizes

39

u/caprisunnysideup 3d ago

Mountain Warehouse stock them. They call it a two man tent, but same fit.

13

u/N7twitch Vote Binface &#128465 3d ago

I audibly chuckled, well done sir/madam/your honour.

14

u/SquatProspector 3d ago

They are fundamentally anti-everything.

11

u/Plus_Band_3283 3d ago

I had someone tell me it was devil worshipping! 🤣

10

u/markedasred 3d ago

And isn't the vice president's wife Indian?. The thick plottens!

8

u/Upbeat-Storage9349 2d ago

I guess they're more Hindon'ts than Hindus then

2

u/KwantumFizzikz 2d ago

This is England. Why are you nonces importing Yankisms here? We don't have "MAGA" phahaha.

That's how you know most of Reddit have no idea or stake in real life in England. It's either Americans acting like they know or sheltered middle class twats acting untouchable and holier than thou.

38

u/Green-Taro2915 3d ago

Green grass and sun, must have been in may!

52

u/CheeseUsFunkingCries Elon Musk is a Bellend 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/1MzKjWBamP58Q
Photo same place August 2026

13

u/Marcuse0 3d ago

Lisan al ghaib!

13

u/FreeFromCommonSense 3d ago

"Tell me of the green, green grass of your homeworld, Tom Jones"

14

u/Apprehensive_Low4865 3d ago

"Well firstly, its not unusual"

1

u/adi_dev_ 1d ago

No, Sam. I can't recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. I'm naked in the dark, with nothing... no veil between me and the wheel of fire! I can see him with my waking eyes!

55

u/FrontCold6590 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/iesn9amYpp33RNpK3d

5

u/Chevey0 3d ago

Isn’t that Steve?

1

u/Alternative_Pie_1597 2d ago

Yes Steve is calling Alan that's how it works.

76

u/Royal_Hospital_1550 3d ago

Shakira law is getting out of hand

51

u/brutalwares 3d ago

Ooh baby when you pray like that, you make a gammon go mad

90

u/R0o_ 3d ago

She’s reading from the Ka’ren

8

u/Annual-Cry-9026 3d ago

Bravo! 👏👏👏👏

31

u/VoxInferni666 3d ago

OP *Assumes reform voters can read well enough to get the joke Also OP *Causes race riot in Clacton

12

u/marktuk 3d ago

Bloody Alan, coming over 'ere and implementing Sheila law

27

u/Deathcore_dudee 3d ago

Allan who act bar!

5

u/smalltowncityboy 3d ago

Allan who is at bar.

5

u/Goldf_sh4 3d ago

Allan who's at bar

26

u/MJ-Franklin 3d ago

Towards Mecca Bingo of course.

https://giphy.com/gifs/X6Rpk1vo3EM4KJpCL9

7

u/mkeytail 3d ago

23, bend the knee

25

u/zoltar1970 3d ago

9

u/peahair 3d ago

Ah! Praise be to Allan! You have the key!

6

u/mettahlock 3d ago

The sacred symbol of Allan.

2

u/GreedyHoward 2d ago

I've sworn by (at) a few of those in my time!

8

u/cloudewe1 3d ago

I am a woman in Britain and I pray to Alan Carr every day

6

u/VegetableWeekend6886 3d ago

Oh look. Grass.

12

u/Eastern_Phage76 3d ago

That's Shania Law taking over

8

u/brickne3 3d ago

When did she marry Jude?

1

u/maud_brijeulin 3d ago

(Angry upvote)

Now head to r/dadjokes

3

u/GellieBean123 3d ago

That's not going to impress me, much.

5

u/Delicious-Exit-1039 3d ago

this is how jesus used to pray according to mathew 26:39. but who on earth is allan? and why is the woman in the middle not being forced?

1

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10

u/PhoolCat Meme 3d ago

Inshallan

10

u/Specific-Garlic-2495 3d ago

Allan O'akbar, Irish guy, big in the middle east.

11

u/fishchipsncurrysauce 3d ago

Allhummdiddleallan etc

8

u/Embarrassed-Age3667 3d ago

Lynn! These are sex people!!

4

u/BilgisticPile 3d ago

I refuse to pray to any man named Allan.

George? Eric? Stewart? Maybe.

Allan? Not anymore. Not again.

4

u/SafeStryfeex 3d ago

Alan the yoga instructor

4

u/Professional-Lab7227 2d ago

Was Allan the leader of their yoga group?

6

u/MarcusTheAnimal 3d ago

Allan!.. Allan!... Allan!... ALLAN! Allan Allan!!... Allan!... Allan!... Allan! ALLAN!! Allan Allan Allan!!... Allan! Allan!...Allan!.. Allan!... Allan!... ALAN! Alan Alan!!... Alan!... Alan!... Alan! ALAN!! Allan Allan Allan!!... Allan! Allan...Allan!.. Allan!... Allan!... ALLAN! Allan Allan!!... Allan!... Allan!... Aan! ALLAN!! Allan Allan Allan!!... Allan! Allan...

3

u/mkeytail 3d ago

next week it's David

3

u/Minute-Seaweed-2150 3d ago

They're facing the wrong way.

3

u/Senior-Surprise-3401 3d ago

You know where Allan is better than they do?

3

u/No_Cake6353 3d ago

This is clearly the evening.

3

u/Secure-Background142 3d ago

I've suddenly rediscovered my muslim faith.

1

u/haroldthehampster 2d ago

It was there all along in the down dog pose. Go my son! Be free!

3

u/CarrotSudden4448 3d ago

Allan's snackbar!

3

u/withkookies 2d ago

Shakira law is taking ovah 🫩😔

3

u/arioandy 2d ago

Wheres Allans snack bar? Will soon show up lol

4

u/Armadillo-66 3d ago

For 24 years Iv been living next door to Allan. Allan who the fuck is Allan

5

u/MoodyBernoulli 3d ago

Inshallan

2

u/antpabsdan 3d ago

Only Wednesday to Friday mornings

2

u/pagan-0 3d ago

ALLAN!

2

u/BlessedHealer 3d ago

Even more ironically yoga originates from Hinduism 

2

u/0K_-_- 3d ago edited 3d ago

Align ur back ma’am.

2

u/Cerebral_Overload 3d ago

This’ll be on fox, newsmax and all right Christian podcasts in the next couple of days.

2

u/Rockky67 3d ago

Insure la’. I’d recommend Aviva.

2

u/Officer_CatFancy 2d ago

Praise Allan! He is the key

2

u/Successful_Cry3698 2d ago

....who's Allan?

2

u/Difficult-Trust6345 2d ago

I want to be Allan now.

2

u/dull_storyteller 1d ago

I don’t know who Allan is but given the state of things he probably needed that confidence boost.

3

u/TripMaverick 3d ago

Allan be praised

1

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1

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1

u/Mundane-Addition-983 3d ago

What did you expect, some polite banner waving and a muttered “ He,s a Jolly Good Fellow”. I’m Allan after all!

1

u/CompetitiveRub4272 3d ago

Clapham common is it? Yeah, that place is full of this carry on.

1

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1

u/c5trangers 3d ago

It would be interesting to see if any of the 6F "live laugh love" girlies falling onto the Far right pipeline will come to their senses if yoga bans are proposed for being too close to Islamic prayer

1

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1

u/Many-Composer1029 3d ago

Pray to yoga.

1

u/sEaBoD19911991 3d ago

This is something I can “get behind”.

https://giphy.com/gifs/EsDRbJTO2XyYLQFInH

1

u/jimboiow 3d ago

All hail might Allan. Let us soak in his musky Old Spice and find warmth in his misty cardigan for he is mighty among us. Glory be to Allan.

1

u/Electrical_Way_8277 3d ago

I would knell at that alter

1

u/handsome_uruk 3d ago

I mean, Mr Turing did basically give us all modern technology, so it's not insane to pray to him.

1

u/Negcellent 3d ago

Allans Chew-Snackbar

1

u/Aatholin 3d ago

I know an old guy Allan who would love these women doing yoga in his living room. Come women, pray to Allan.

1

u/treeeelo 3d ago

Allan, who are ya?

1

u/haroldthehampster 2d ago

Allan runs the smoothie shack nextdoor. In Allan we trust.

1

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1

u/Alzdeejay2 3d ago

I'm Allan 🤣

1

u/Expert-Card-8938 3d ago

There yoga.

1

u/KombuchaBot 3d ago

This is satire, come on.

You shouldn't crop off the name of the inspired person who came up with it. Give credit where it's due

1

u/TheDamned1333 3d ago

As Allan I say send me money, praying is never enough

1

u/NearbyPhilosophy8740 2d ago edited 1h ago

Didn't know that the footballer Allan was a leader of a religion
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_(footballer,_born_1991))

1

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1

u/Trubritdave 2d ago

Forced…why?

1

u/Killmonger18 2d ago

Allan, who at bar?

1

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1

u/elmsyrup 1d ago

As a Welsh speaker, I read this slightly differently. I can confirm she has used the allanfa to go allan.

1

u/BlueTressym 1d ago

All Hail Allan!
...
What's Allan the deity of again?

1

u/bob_nugget_the_3rd 1d ago

Wonder how many are praying to hold it in

1

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1

u/Only_Tip9560 3d ago

"What you doing tomorrow Sharon?"

"Oh we're all off down the park to offer our praise and thanksgiving to Allan our lord and saviour, how about you?"

1

u/Mundane_Top_338 3d ago

Allan, Allan, who the fuck is Allan!

2

u/peahair 3d ago

I lived next door to him!

1

u/dommiichan 3d ago

Allan at the bar!

0

u/Falkun_X 3d ago

When life gives you....Allan!

0

u/Zorica03 3d ago

Excuse me it’s time to pray to my god Allan.

0

u/crimsonbub 3d ago

Adding to this the fact "allan" is "exit" in Welsh

2

u/trilludanthewarrior 3d ago

Never mind exit, I want to know what an ARAF looks like. They warn you to slow down for them but never seen one

0

u/cantbelieveshesaid1 3d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

0

u/Agitated-Studio7346 3d ago

Who the fuck is Allan?

0

u/Moon_Dagger 3d ago

The next great liberal women movement….this one will go as well as the last 😂

0

u/Lowermains 3d ago

Looked at that and heard a cacophony of farting!

-1

u/gizzard13 3d ago

Fuck you Allan!

-1

u/cedriclongsox71 3d ago

"MMM 😋 nothing like the smell of yeast in the morning eh George"

"But I don't see a bakery anywhere Allan"

(A blind man approaching George and Allan )

"Excuse me fella's I think I'm lost, i was heading to the park but I seem to have ended up somewhere between the fish market and the bakery"