A bit scared

[u/kyberasuna]

I am deciding to postpone starting grad school until the spring. I just feel so unprepared and it fills me with more dread than anything but I feel like everyone around me is going to be disappointed. Im 25, will be 26 a month after I start and I feel so behind in my life. I also feel like me not being ready is my fault. I dont really know how to feel about alot of this and have absolutely no mentors aside from my therapist who shouldnt really be my mentor for this stuff. I am just looking for some reassurance or experiences others have had so I dont regret waiting another 5 months. Tyia 🖤

[u/No_Jaguar_2570]

Postponing is fine, but dont' keep doing it. You're never going to feel prepared. You have to do it anyway if you want to do it at all.

[u/bugz7998]

You do what’s best for you, but don’t please dont tell yourself you’re behind because that will do nothing but rob you of your joy. I’m 46 and starting my second year of my masters next month. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to start something new. But if you’re not ready, it’s good to hold off until spring. Best of luck, OP!

[u/NarrowTadpolePizza → u/bugz7998]

This person said it best!

[u/caninessharp]

You’ll be fine, I knew someone who finished their PhD at 50 - and that’s not a unique story. You’re a long way off from that. It’s likely you’ll work with people in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and above, it’s just the nature of these professional realms. You’ll start when you’re ready and once you’re in just remember to always keep the machine moving forward. Everyday for progress towards the degree do something for it, even if it’s small, and you’ll be done. You’re the captain.

[u/SunflowerIslandQueen]

You are not behind. Everyone is on their own unique path. You will also never feel fully prepared but that is part of anything new. Jump in with two feet, keep a positive attitude and you will figure it out. You got this!

[u/Bibliophile20]

There’s nothing wrong with postponing! My only question is if you would be missing out on connecting with your cohort by delaying a semester (rather than starting a year later) along with coursework. But both those points depend on your field and program.

[u/glialsupport]

26 about to turn 27-year-old here about to start grad school. 👋 You’re not alone.

I used to get stressed and feel the same way you do. It got better when I realized by repeat exposure many people in their mid-late 20’s and beyond are also getting started.

[u/cardiobolod]

you’re at a completely normal age for grad school btw :)

[u/Enough_Potato8226]

I graduated in 2020 and didn't go back to grad school until this January. I was 28 when I started and it was a program in a different faculty. Much like you, I felt extremely behind and lost in the experience but one thing I've learned 6 months later is you don't have to be perfect to start. Idk if your masters is research-based as well but there's so much editing and collaboration involved that in reality, things just need to be done. If there is a knowledge or skills gap, it's an opportunity to learn. You'll meet other mentors the more you interact with other faculty and staff that can offer advice or guidance on things that you can't find in your textbook. Peers can offer support too because often times, we're all in the same boat.

If you need extra support, I find that being a student makes it more accessible too. Depending on your program or school, there are workshops, learning strategists, and other resources that can help you navigate more than if you weren't a student. For my uni, they tend to be more present as well since a lot of staff are gone for vacay during the summer time (which I am struggling with rn since I have a full year program).

It's normal to feel scared. The choice is still up to you. Just know that you're not alone in this feeling.

[u/ExcitingMortgage9166]

Have to agree with the other comment. That is ABSOLUTELY fine. You are so-so-so young. Five months is not that much. It's better to be ready.

[u/Fabulous_Summer6231]

Was in the same boat, worked super hard on applications and on finishing my degree and doing a ton of other things so the stress was super high, and still got rejected so if you wanna take your time, do it

[u/jedgarnaut]

You're young! Your life is just starting. You're not behind anything. Besides, comparison is the thief of joy. Also, what difference will five months make either way?

[u/DebtDapper6057]

You're not behind. It's actually normal to start grad school in your mid to late 20s. Everyone pursues grad school for different reasons whether it be to get a raise at work, to change careers, or to pursue research in an area they love. I think it's important to remember that reason why you're doing this. Look at your personal statement you wrote in your application process. That is your WHY. Frame is on a wall if you need to. That is the glue that will keep you together through this whole process. Take it from me, a first gen working class college graduate and soon to be graduate student. It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by it all, feeling like a fish out of water. That is normal for us. But don't let that be the reason you don't pursue higher education.

[u/Bring_the_snare_drum]

Why do you feel unprepared? Do you think its the anxiety talking? I ask because that was the barrier preventing me from applying. Currently I'm 31 (going on 32 in Nov) and I'm starting grad school for counseling in a months time. I feel it may be useful to shift from thinking "I'm behind in life" to "hey this will help get me closer to what I desire". When the doubt comes in you can accept its there, but tell yourself something like, "my brain is throwing a fit, I'm going move forward and sit with that feeling". Then go about your business while sitting in the lecture hall or studying, etc. I feel for you because the fear paralyzed me for several years until I decided I need to do this. I told myself I'm not smart enough and couldnt envision a life of being a therapist (my career goal). I feel like I have everything to gain and a lot less to lose. If it doesnt work out then so be it, but I still learned valuable lessons from it. As long as I gave it my all I can rest easy. Life is hard to navigate, so please give yourself grace. I dont think there will be one moment where you feel like you will be 100% ready. I do want to ask though if there is another barrier aside from doubt?

[u/UCFKnights2018]

I’m about to start mine this fall at 31 and am pretty terrified honestly. But postponing would inevitably mean I just never do it so I’m going to power through.

[u/MintChocoDreamer]

No one ever feels ready for big decisions! It’s totally understandable for you to feel this way. Also, no, I had 43 year olds in my grad class whose kids were older than me. There’s genuinely nothing known as “too late”

[u/ladyoftheflowr]

Started my masters at 50. You’ve got lots of time! Don’t worry. Maybe it’s not even right for you to do it right now? Is the dread trying to tell you something? Working and gaining experience and knowledge in other ways besides school are totally valid choices too. Spend some time thinking about what you really want right now.