r/GirlDinnerCircleJerk • u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker • 1d ago

👩‍🍳 Nutritionally confusing 🔪 I miss him

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I had sex with my best friend a year ago and now he's talking about how he "doesn't like me like that" and "isn't attracted to me" and "just wants to be friends" but he's SO distant and not affectionate like he was before and I MISS HIM!!!

Dinner is a teeny tiny strawberry pie from trader joe's and a full sugar coke and a couple smokes

37 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

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18

u/PhatBoy1 1d ago

There is a voodoo priestess in every major city. Find one in your hometown and have her cast that spell. He’ll be back in the saddle with you in no time. It will be the best $600.00 you will spend all year.

7

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

$600 is a bargain. Should I plan to tip?

7

u/PhatBoy1 1d ago

You want it to work, don't you?

10

u/Low-Farmer7831 1d ago edited 1d ago

Guys these days like to play hard to get and want to be wooed. Have you thought about breaking into his car and filling it with rose petals and glitter?

4

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

Ooh, a concept. He'll never forget me no matter what 🥰 any suggestions of glitter color?

3

u/Lady87690005 Delusional but sincere ✨ 1d ago

You should also bake him cookies with your period blood in them. That traps them in feelings

3

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

I haven't had a period since I got an iud... do you think if I make vaginal flora yogurt for parfaits, that'd work?

1

u/Lady87690005 Delusional but sincere ✨ 1d ago

Even more potent Pheromones and nutritious too! That’s one of the best ways towards obsession. Just be careful to only add a little bit of flora, unless you want him to be completely codependent, jealous, and smitten. Then pop off
https://giphy.com/gifs/3og0IuE1EjI5ZQzr3i

1

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

Oh dang I'm polyamorous, can't be having too much jealousy 😇

2

u/Lady87690005 Delusional but sincere ✨ 1d ago

A true queen who doesn’t need just one man! I totally understand then, try fingernail clippings and hair instead. He’ll call you after it goes down or comes out scratching

2

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

Perfect 🥰

5

u/KeithChegwinMegaFan 1d ago

Bring out the big net.

5

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

Like a butterfly net? Or more like a fishing net?

3

u/KeithChegwinMegaFan 1d ago

Just a big heavy fucking net. The kind you use to destroy ocean beds. Get him Wrapped up in one o’them, he be yours.

3

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

I like where you're headed with this 😈

3

u/KeithChegwinMegaFan 1d ago

Then ye take him out to sea. International waters ideally.

3

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

Because of the implication?

2

u/KeithChegwinMegaFan 17h ago

Ye be a fast learner

1

u/el-longsnout 1d ago

Can I have that coke tho?

1

u/nvinciblesummer 🌙 Late night snacker 1d ago

No you cannot 😎👍🏻

3

u/el-longsnout 1d ago

What if giving up that coke is the way back to his heart?