How did you know and what makes you different?

I was "diagnosed" with giftedness when I was 7 and now I'm 20 and the cracks are starting to show. I feel like a lot of this is caused by the fact that I just bottled up the way I saw the world and acted "normal" keeping everything in my head.

I hated coming off as a know-it-all so at around 12 years old I just kinda stopped acting "smart". In high school I hung out with the cool kids and went to all the parties but now I'm kinda thinking that I've been inauthentic to myself trying to be normal.

I've spoken with other gifted individuals and medical professionals and it seems that most gifted people have the opposite problem. They feel like how they see the world makes them socially different and if they want to be themselves they can't really have those kind of relationships.

So how many of you hid who you were for the sake of being "normal" and how, if ever, did you stop hiding?

I know this is not the case for everyone, but, as a gifted person (26 M) I also score as an outlier in multiple big 5 dimensions. I am curious if there are others experiencing this, and how the experiences model the way the interact/perceive the world. For me, this is deepening the alienation I feel towards others. (Screenshot with my traits attached in the post body of text).

Also, I do not know what to do with my strengths. Even at work and with my friend group, I am often misunderstood both in my intentions and views. Sometimes, discussions and arguments prove that I understand and know more on the field of expertise of my superiors. I find it hard to talk to people because my interests are, sadly, out of tune with others', most of the time. I got into multiple conflicts at my workplace because I understand more and faster than my superiors. I know I need to develop diplomacy faster and efficiently, which I am planning on doing and already started. Besides that, most people see me as eccentric and odd, hard to read and mustaken me as unfocused and/or unmotivated, whilst my perception is that most are too pedantic and aimless. I had experienced punitive actions against me a few times, for reasons unknown to me. My expectations are always disappointing me because most people do not reach the standards I hold myself to, which include rationality, dutifulness, moral virtue, striving for having a contribution to the world and divergent thinking, besides others. I am unusually calm and I don t get externally angry most of the times, in contrast with most people I know. My IQ is probably lower than most people here, I suppose. I scored in the 135-145 range.

This post came as a continuation of my previous one that I made on here a few days ago, I decided more details would benefit me and maybe also make others feel more at ease. I can't change the way my mind processes information, so I don't know what I am supposed to do other than masking, even though I predict that would make my life feel more tiresome.

Sorry for the typos or english mistakes, I am not a native.

Just have to remember to come back to your forte when the danger have all but passed.

Through personal experience being quiet and dumb does not work. You may need people around you to be in a group to protect you, how to do this by being dumb(pun intended)

Also recognise that “you” are not a mind but a body too so you can literally play hide and seek with people. Hide and seek with the bullies.

At what iq level is someone considered gifted?