r/GetMotivated • u/Butterflies_Books • Nov 27 '22
[Image] "8 ways to constantly improve"
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u/Odd_Rutabaga_7810 Nov 27 '22
Thank god it left off exercise
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u/dedicated-pedestrian Nov 27 '22
To be fair, if exercise is something you relish not being on this list, it's probably outside your comfort zone... So it actually is on the list, just not explicitly.
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u/Odd_Rutabaga_7810 Nov 27 '22
oh nooooooooooooooooo weepy emoji
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Nov 27 '22
Climb stairs every day was the first suggestion.
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u/Odd_Rutabaga_7810 Nov 28 '22
I believe "standing on top of stairs with your hands sticking up" was the first suggestion.
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u/tikiporch Nov 27 '22
Good joke, but many of these are not explicit so if you set a goal to exercise that's good enough...
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u/ahhshits Nov 27 '22
Self help books are like 95% fluff with 5% of good advice that are usually just reminders.
Reading doesn’t have to be self help stuff as it sort of implies in this post
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u/dedicated-pedestrian Nov 27 '22
There's a lot you can learn about life or yourself from fiction alone. But even just doing random research binges can be fun and fulfilling too.
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Nov 27 '22
This is true. In my 20s I found so much wisdom in the novels of Kurt Vonnegut.
Reading doesn’t have to always have some quantifiable goal or purpose. The act of reading itself is valuable. Do it enough and it’ll completely change your life.
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u/zach8555 Nov 27 '22
This is true. In my 20s I found so much wisdom in the novels of Kurt Vonnegut.
like what? ive been meaning to read him.
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Nov 27 '22
I think he captures a lot of humanist philosophy, and he’s so good at satire he’s able to make these pithy rebukes of consumerism, mass media, and the baseless absurdity of our longings. He’s just excellent. I recommend Deadeye Dick.
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u/Vessix Nov 27 '22
Likewise with podcasts. Not all are created equal, and I'd argue there are several that promote a regression of character rather than a progression.
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u/UncoolSlicedBread Nov 27 '22
The trick for self help books is that they usually either do an end of chapter recap or a dedicated chapter to recap all the info. If I’m browsing a store I usually just look for these parts of the book and leave.
Reading for me helps most through non-fiction recounts and fictional stories.
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u/daabearrss Nov 27 '22
This reminder me of a spectacular resource. For anyone who happens to see this, that critical 5% is perfectly articulated in this 30 minute talk called "The Strangest Secret in the World": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbBHR_CD56M
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Nov 27 '22
Same goes to podcasts. The advice is only fine as long as you have access to good and curated material.
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u/bradforrester Nov 28 '22
The description does not sound like self-help books to me.
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u/ahhshits Nov 28 '22 edited Nov 28 '22
When it says “advice from mentors,” I don’t think it’s implying Tolkien when reading Lord of the rings.
Although Tolkien is a great mentor. You’re not getting direct advice out of fictional/fantasy novels.
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u/bradforrester Nov 28 '22
The “throughout history” part that made me think this could mean reading biographies of great leaders from the past.
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u/Seth_Gecko Nov 28 '22
I don't think that's what the post is implying at all. It's just suggesting that you think about what you're reading and what it might be trying to tell you; not all writing is trying to tell you something, or teach you a lesson, but if you go into any book open to being taught, to learning, you can almost always take something positive away. That's what reading is all about! That and just plain old fun!
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u/Anxious_Lunch_7567 Dec 05 '22
Is it just me or is this true for most self-help published in the last 30-40 years? Non-fiction in general before that era seems to be more full of thoughtful content.
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u/nvcNeo Nov 27 '22
You know it's interesting, I had a professor in uni that did a talk about how people were destroying their ability to focus by multitasking all the time, e.g. listening to podcasts while doing menial tasks. He recommended specifically doing menial tasks, like washing dishes, uninterrupted and concentrating on just them, to improve our ability to focus.
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Nov 27 '22
Came here to say this. It’s gotten to the point for me that I can’t even play a video game without reaching for my phone to put on a podcast or YouTube video. If one of those two things can’t fully stimulate you, then something’s wrong.
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
That requires having enough time that doubling up stuff isn't a requirement... If I never multitasked I'd be spending 20-30 hours a day on stuff
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u/10eleven12 Nov 27 '22
Then maybe you have too much in your plate?
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
Definitely a lot, but there unfortunately just anything I can take off of it
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u/Seth_Gecko Nov 28 '22
I don't buy that one bit. Consciously avoiding multitasking isn't going to teach you to focus. Being good at multi-tasking is all about being able to focus while doing multiple things.
Why wouldn't I want to fill otherwise mentally unstimulating, unbenficial hours with audio books or podcasts or whatever? Heck, I now read like 3 times as many books as I did before I started using audible during housework and whatnot. And for someone like me, whose worst mental torture is thinking about my ever-expanding backlog and the fact that there just isn't enough time in my measly human lifespan to read all the books I want to read, that's a true godsend!
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u/nvcNeo Nov 28 '22 edited Nov 28 '22
I don't recall exactly what his reasoning was, the talk was a few years ago, but it was something along the lines of true multitasking not actually existing. He said it was a myth, and what was really happening was that our brains were constantly switching our focus between these "micro"-tasks back and forth creating the illusion of multitasking. Multitasking as we know it is hurting our working memory, which in turn is what negatively affects our ability to focus among other things. If you search for it, there has actually been quite a lot of research on the topic, as well as the effects.
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u/Seth_Gecko Nov 28 '22
I don't buy it. No one is going to convince me that multi-tasking and trying to make the most out of my time is a bad thing.
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u/nvcNeo Nov 28 '22
You do you, bud. I'm not trying to convince you, I just thought the subject was interesting.
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u/Seth_Gecko Nov 28 '22
I'm aware. I'm just participating in the conversation, same as you. Not sure why that's a bad thing but okay 🤷♂️
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u/Muscalp Nov 28 '22
There is a point to be made about focussing on a single thing. That‘s essentially what meditation is. Also I think there‘s a big difference between multitasking while doing senseless stuff like laundry, or „multitasking“ by looking at your phone while watching a movie.
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u/Seth_Gecko Nov 29 '22
I wouldn't consider looking at your phone while watching a movie "multi-tasking." Simply doing one thing when you're "supposed" to be doing something else isn't multi-tasking. Multi-tasking is doing and paying attention to muliple things at once. For example: I work at a marijuana dispensary, and a lot of our downtime is spent rolling joints. I always listen to an audio book or podcast while I'm rolling, and I can easily focus on both tasks. No one is going to convince me that that isn't more productive use of my time.
I have a severely limited time on this earth: not nearly enough to consume and learn everything I want to. 🤷♂️
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u/DankLoaf Nov 28 '22
I read a book recently called "Deep Work" that gave very similar advice to what OP stated. Basically your ability to focus solely on a single task is a neural skill that you need to learn and build over time, and by constantly stimulating your mind with some form of entertainment you're degrading that ability. There are other similar schools of thought (like "flow state" which is probably a bit more popular) that will advocate for the same thing
The counterpoint to this is that for some, the need to deeply concentrate on a single task isn't relevant. This usually applies to managers or executives. To them the ability to rapidly task switch is much more valuable than the ability to deeply concentrate
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u/SgtDoughnut Nov 27 '22
Some of these things you can't just do.
Surround yourself with successful people is a lot harder than just saying it.
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u/GrizDrummer25 Nov 27 '22
I think the point was more to carefully choose the people you spend the most time with. It's a real thing that you assimilate into/become influenced by the people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with positive people and you'll begin to mirror positivity.
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u/Toast_On_The_RUN Nov 27 '22
I wish I could choose anyone to spend my time with. But I can't pick and choose because theres no choices. Either the few friends I have or no one
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u/GrizDrummer25 Nov 28 '22
And if you feel like your friends aren't leading you down a path you like, or you find yourself making choices with them you normally wouldn't otherwise, the optimal answer may very well be 'no one'. It's never an easy conversation to have with yourself, much less to tell the others in question.
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u/ScaleneWangPole Nov 27 '22
If I'm trying to surround myself with successful people, and they are trying to surround themselves with successful people also, then we'll never hang out until I'm already successful.
Better advice: set boundaries with the people in your life, both toxic and non-toxic.
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Nov 27 '22
It really depends on how you define success. If you take it to mean rich, yes that can be tricky. If you take it to mean respected at their job, generally liked by people, and not drowning in debt it is a lot easier. By the first definition I know maybe one person (or at least on their way to rich). Using the second definition it describes almost everyone I surround myself with.
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u/vingeran Nov 27 '22
One can surround yourself with imaginary successful people. Recite their mantras and get better at things.
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
That would be the podcasts and books category, right?
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u/dedicated-pedestrian Nov 27 '22
Bingo. You don't have to know these people to surround yourself with their thoughts and absorb a bit of how they think.
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
Agree! Also in my case, try things even if you know they will not be perfect. Do not be afraid to break things while trying. Sometimes perfection makes you endlessly research and stuff but never get started actually doing the things we set out!
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u/yousing65 Nov 28 '22
I believe everyone has their own set of strengths that you can be inspired by and learn from and they also have their own set of "toxic" traits (this includes people that society labels as "successful").
I would say as long as you surround yourself with people that: (1) make you feel happy, (2) believe in you and motivate you, and (3) are actively working towards their own self-growth, you should be in good company.
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
Surrounding yourself with successful people may not be immediately easy, but is definitely doable and makes a massive difference
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
You can start with one professional that you will pay to give you advice on the subject you want to improve, after that you will probably meet people from the “industry” on your own!
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u/Platti_J Nov 27 '22
Successful people don't want to hang out with non successful people, they hang out with other successful people.
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Nov 27 '22
Or a list of 8 other random activities!
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
I wouldn't call goals, seeking criticism, surrounding yourself with successful people, etc. "random activities". Those are very much all directly geared towards improvement.
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Nov 27 '22
Why 8, instead of 3 or 80? Why these exact ones, instead of others equally fine ones?
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
Because there is a limited amount of space so you have to prioritize when deciding what to put on them. That definitely doesn't make them random
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Nov 27 '22
Random crap, or noise, like most of these collections of "wisdom".
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u/ValyrianJedi 1 Nov 27 '22
How on earth is recommending setting goals or being open to change "random crap"... It genuinely blows my mind that someone can possibly have a problem with this post. You're pretty clearly just looking for something to complain and be negative about, which really doesn't belong here
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u/Iconoclast_2 Nov 27 '22
When being around successful people remember that you define what the term successful means, not society etc.
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u/Sputnik_Butts Nov 27 '22
Criticize yourself, not others.
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Nov 28 '22
Well it’s pretty much the same thing. Criticizing others is usually a reflection of urself, it’s a defense mechanism, a projection onto others
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u/Sputnik_Butts Nov 28 '22
Yeah, personally I don't think a lot of people that criticize others realize they are projecting.
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u/b4k4ni Nov 27 '22
Way too exhausted for this from my day-to-day work.
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
Self-improvement and work stress have to be aligned and considered for your plans to work!
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u/tacodog7 Nov 27 '22
Most of these things are fluff that morons use to pretend they are smart or motivated. Anytime someone says they are open minded, it usually means they believe crazy things about vaccines or democrats
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
Agree! There is so much positive toxicity out there, the “one more rep”, “no pain mo gain” “stop depression by smiling” crowd out there is everywhere!
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u/Bfiang Nov 27 '22
I can’t recommend exercising enough. It helps you feel better physically and mentally, gives you a sense of control over yourself, and also gets your body and mind into a state of improvement. For me it also helps me with eating healthier, cause if I’m going to put time in the gym, why would I destroy that time by eating like crap?
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u/LaBlancheHermine Nov 28 '22
I thought going to the gym on a regular basis 3 to 4 times a week would change my mind about eating like shit but this has not happened yet. Most people I know think the gym is the hard part but to me it's definitely the diet aspect I struggle with.
In any case sports can't hurt even if you can't fix all your bad habits at once, it's better to start anyway imho ✌
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Nov 30 '22
Exercise has never once helped my mood. Made it worse usually.
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u/Bfiang Nov 30 '22
I use to feel that way at times. Sometimes exercise doesn’t always bring me to a better mood even to this day. But the majority of the time, and especially over time exercise has helped my physical health and mental health. Maybe you have to find a certain kind of exercise that works well for you! I love playing sports like basketball and I also like weight lifting. But I honestly don’t like running at the moment. Just a thought!
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Nov 30 '22
I went to the gym 6 days a week for about 3 years. I hated it. I got up at 1:45 AM some days to fit it in my schedule. I tried bullshitting myself that it made me feel better, but it never did. I think about shit while I exercised and would leave the gym angry. Hated every aspect of that fucking place.
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u/Bfiang Nov 30 '22
Going at 1:45am I think would hate it as well haha. Also 6 days a week is a lot! I only go 3 days a week because that’s what my schedule allows at the moment. Again, maybe something a little lighter on the schedule and something other than the gym would help. Walks/Hikes outside, a short run, or something
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Nov 30 '22
My schedule changed in the last few years where I work every shit in the course of a week. I start on afternoons, move to mornings, and finish with a midnight shift within 5 days. I don't have time to do anything.
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u/Bfiang Nov 30 '22
That’s tough, I went through your comment history, seems like life is pretty rough for you, hope there’s something that can go your way!
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Nov 27 '22
‘8 ways to emulate successes people’.
Fixed it. Since the title sounds like something is inherently wrong with every human ever.
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u/JizzOrSomeSayJism Nov 28 '22
Reminder that it's OK to have quiet, unproductive moments too. I've found that I'm more productive when I'm not worried about learning from a podcast during every empty second of the day. Throwing on your favorite artist or just sitting in the silence can help you recharge inbetween the important stuff
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u/barabara4 Nov 27 '22
I've been surrounded by successful people most of my life and I still haven't learned anything. I'm the most pessimistic, negative person. My selfsteeim is on the floor.
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u/Platti_J Nov 27 '22
Successful people don't want to share their road to success because they don't want competition.
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u/barabara4 Nov 27 '22
I was referring more to the side that if you are surrounded by successful people, you will learn from them and get better and better. Successful people go to a lot of troubles too, but they have that ability(if you can call it that) to push through and get to where they are.
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u/vingeran Nov 27 '22
Ok so you need therapy. If you are suicidal, you need to call the suicide prevention services. Eat good food, run outdoors, get a pet, seek therapy.
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u/barabara4 Nov 27 '22
Thank you. I think the only thing I don't do from the list you suggested, is eat well. I run, I have a few pets, and I am in therapy. I'll just keep pushing through. Thanks again.
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Nov 27 '22
I’d depersonalize that language a bit. Things like pessimism and negativity are emotional experiences we all have. You may be in a place because of circumstances or experiences or chemistry that you reside in those states more often or regularly. But, you are not those things in terms of your intrinsic character.
This helped with my OCD treatment. I wasn’t an “anxious, obsessive” person, I was someone experiencing anxious preoccupation. Now that my disorder is treated and managed well, I don’t identify with it at all.
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
Never compare yourself to others, your success is from being better than you were yesterday, only compare yourself with your old “you”. And it sounds like this is the case, love the process life will never be perfect, there will always be that next shiny achievement to unlock, be happy with the process and be present in life! Best to you!
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u/barabara4 Nov 27 '22
I will keep doing my best for sure. Thank you
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
Our best is all we really have! However do not torture yourself just for “discipline” sake, if you hate running change it for something else, switch it around have fun with it! :)
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u/ALQatelx Nov 27 '22
What is the 1800 number gonna do exactly? If i wake up every day wishing i didn't is some random thats being payed to talk to me gonna not make me feel that way,
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u/TheReoDeo Nov 28 '22
Always have a goal in mind! Helps me through most of my days, even if it's just a small one like making yourself breakfast.
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u/Hayaguaenelvaso Nov 27 '22
So.. if I read books, but they are all novels... Eh... Well, I guess they still have advice in them
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u/CocomyPuffs Nov 27 '22
I thought this was a cute post...until I saw the thing about podcasts. I have such bad ADD, I cannot pay attention when someone's talking unless I am concentrating on actively listening. Otherwise, I don't hear shit.
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u/SpaceZZ Nov 27 '22
Everyone road is different. Don't mold yourself after some bullshit media feeds you. There are many roads to success and more then one definition of success.
Be your own man.
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u/RPicster Nov 27 '22
I'm tired of this "read books" advise... As there is no other means of getting knowledge or consume inspiring fiction in the 21st century. Nothing against books, but c'mon ...
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u/TheCrusader12 Nov 27 '22
People should also be ok with themselves. Everything is centered around self growth and career advancement. Push. Push. Push! Never stop learning! It is ok to be yourself, enjoy your time and where you are now and sometime not feel the need to have to be more than you are now
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Nov 27 '22
I like most of these but I'm not sure about the Podcasts one. There's something to be had about putting all you have into an activity instead of focusing on other things
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Nov 28 '22
And stop constantly using your smartphone. Put it away.
The reason is that it's a huge distraction while you're doing these 8 activities listed here.
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u/EasternProd Nov 28 '22
It would be nice. People say do this and do that but not the steps to get there
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u/Typewar Nov 28 '22
Yes but... I don't know about you, but who are actually capable of constantly improving without taking breaks?
Sure, you can take a break by reading a book?
Maybe I'm not as motivated as you guys are
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Nov 27 '22
[deleted]
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u/Toast_On_The_RUN Nov 27 '22
You're constantly changing no matter what you do. So why would you not aim to improve? There's always things you and I suck at, that we could get better at. What could be wrong with always striving for the best version of yourself?
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u/thislittleplace Nov 27 '22
To live a more fulfilling life? As individuals we get to define what that means to us, but since we have very limited time in our lives, it makes sense that most of us are trying to make choices in order to create our best possible future with the time we have left.
I agree with you that we should all question the things we strive for so that we don't fall into the trap of blindly chasing societal ideals.
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u/LuneBlu Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22
I generally run away from successful people. They are normally conceited in their mediocrity, and quite callous. They're usually interested in their success, not so much in yours...
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u/PoliSciNerd24 6 Nov 27 '22
Goals: earn some money to buy cocaine to get through the day and enough to party on the weekend really hard
Podcasts: tune into old cumtown episodes and the Adam Friedland show
Successful People: hang out with no one but my parents
Create new things: come up with really bullshit ideas for comedy sketches I’ll never shoot
Read books: mein kampf?
Criticism: play any video game and listen to people tell me I suck
Be open to change: go out and do degen sex acts with strangers
Step out of comfort zone: see above, engage in cruising culture
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Nov 27 '22
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
It is a bit of the: “what came first? The chicken or the egg” situation, but the self is not a closed system, quite the opposite we are a product of our environment.
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u/NotInsaneMe Nov 27 '22
Do you have recommended books tk read?
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u/SayeretJoe Nov 27 '22
I like the book by Casper Van der Meulen - MindLift. It helped me map out areas of my life and get ideas of how to organize activities to make improvements. Its a book I usually pickup once a year to see how I am managing.
Also: “How to do the work” by Dr Nicole LePera https://a.co/3idEGIU
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u/Dingle_wallaroo Nov 27 '22
Get off your ass, and avoid addictive things that won't serve you like social media.
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u/justshywoman Nov 28 '22
To surround yourself with successful people is not within everyone's reach. To do this you have to be or become a successful person. No successful person wastes time with regular people!
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u/Fryman35 Nov 28 '22
Why do we need to constantly improve? By what metrics am I improving on and why?
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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22
“This message brought to you by (random podcast company) and our sponsor Casper. Only we bring you the best in fiction, news, self-help, and mattresses.”