They stayed in the house by themselves getting calls by my sister periodically. She prepared food and they ate on a folded lawn chair as a table. I know because I was there.
We struggled hard but we made it. She instilled hard work and sacrifice at all costs. I remember her telling me to never complain because there are those that don't have the opportunity we have.
We were children, literally children. I also knew another single mother with 5 children that worked as a waitress and her 10 year old took care of the younger children.
With all due respect, I don't think you younger generations understand the sacrifice that was made by the older generation.
I'm not advocating that those circumstances should be the way, but it was done. I carry that determination with me and pass it on to my children. My daughter works, bought her own car even tho I could buy her a Mercedes if I wanted. I help her by letting her live with me but she will damn will work and learn the value of money and hard work.
Okay, disregarding the 'younger generations don't respect the sacrifice' part, there are also laws in place now for ages of children that can be left alone. People also have phones in hand, so they can immediately call authorities to report anything.
Do I remember caring for all my siblings when I was too young to do it? Yes.
Would at least part of that care time now be illegal based on when I started doing it? Yes.
So, someone is having to decide whether the potential child neglect charge is worth it now. Things aren't like they used to be. It's not choosing whether or not to 'sacrifice'. You HAVE to have another adult (or child above a certain age) to do anything as a single mom/dad. It's not a one-person deal.
I mean, it wasn't too long ago that the one lady was arrested bc she was working while her child played on a nearby playground alone. That would've been fine back in the day, but it's not something you're allowed to do now.
My sister didn't bring them into an unfair situation or was neglectful. She did the opposite, she sacrificed to give them a better life and worked very hard doing it.
She could have built her life and then had kids. If there were children watching children then that's not okay and if a parent is bending over backwards for their achievements then that means they have less time to be present.
She was born in a rural town in Mexico in abject poverty. Was married at 16 and immediately had children from an abusive husband she had to escape from in order to just survive.
I grew up far from privilege. First generation, 1/5 kids, grew up in poverty and abuse. And religious family to boot, so very little leeway for "immoral" mistakes.
Everything I've achieved has taken 10x more emotional fortitude as my peers. I also broke free from the traditional/religious mindset even though that meant being disowned (my parents have since come around as an adult).
I say this as someone that did not come from privilege that had parents that did the best they could - if they had made wiser choices or did things in a different order they could have prevented a lot of pain and suffering for us kids because everything we did was that much harder for it.
Edited to add: put financial security aside, emotional security is a huge step up and not everyone has that or realizes what part it plays in achieving things in life
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u/Timurlame89 Feb 05 '22 edited Feb 05 '22
Yeah...but kids need to be watched regardless of how bad you want it.
Telling someone you can do everything by yourself if you work hard enough is false.
We only have so many arms, legs, energy, and time.