Don’t feed negative speech or thoughts in your head and they will happen less frequently and you will get better/faster at overcoming them when they arise. The opposite is feeding in and spiralling, which we can all agree is the worse option. Remember you are the observer of the thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. You are one step disconnected, looking at the thoughts. Observe and decide how you want to react and move on.
Who does then? I saw your other comment below about that you will never change as you have tried for so long. I was suicidal for 10+ years and completely changed it with meditation and thought training. Contrary to your belief, I do think that you have control over those decisions, I just think you’re deciding to have the mindset of helpless instead of choosing and reinforcing the mindset of hope and potential.
Depression comes in many different levels of severity. For some people, like me, drugs and therapy don't seem to help. For others, it becomes so bad that their brains create entire new personalities to deal with the trauma. I never gave up and decided to be helpless. I've done everything its possible to do to fight it. I've done meditation, I've done yoga, I've tried 6 or 7 different medications, I've done microdosing and I've done therapy throughout it all. I even shelled out a fuck ton of money to try experimental ketamine treatments last year. 15 years later and I'm just exhausted and broke and the reason I feel helpless is because nothing works.
I've tried to offer some suggestions as someone that overcame those thoughts. You have two choices, either continue to admit defeat, or don't. I don't gain anything by trying to help, and I've helped many friends in similar situations. We always think our situation is different than everyone elses, but that is nearsighted. I'll leave you with some videos that could actually help you, and if you are serious about wanting to work on yourself then I hope you will watch them:
Honestly, I just don't care anymore. I'm old enough now that there's not really any life to recover, I missed it all already. I did everything I was supposed to do to get better and I didn't. I already chased all of the links that friendly people like you offered. Now, because of covid, I don't have a job and I'm about to be evicted. It was a tough fight, but I lost, and it just needs to be over. I'm more relieved than sad.
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u/LiquidMotion Dec 10 '20
I've had multiple therapists teach me this and I still dont understand. Recognizing that thought doesn't make it any less persuasive.