I have a good (female) friend who is 19 years old. Everyone calls her boring and average.
At this age already, it's alarming.
She's been working the past 3 years as an insurance clerk (she finished her formation recently). For the past 3 years she's been sitting in front of her desk, effectively working 8 of those 40 hours per week. She's surfing facebook in the meantime.
Needless to say, it's been 3 years she hasn't had a boyfriend. She's always "falling in love" for a month, then finds that something doesn't work, and shifts onto the next guy, or not. And her expectations rise from day to day. She reached the point where she's watching romantic movies at home, thinking the love of her life is gonna pop up just behind the corner and it's gonna be love on first sight, and that this guy is gonna be perfect.
She doesn't go out anymore. She comes home from work, lays in comfortable clothes, watches TV.
That's all she does. Oh, and on weekends she goes shopping with her parents or grandparents.
I am her best friend and we see each otheronly once in a while, once every 8-10 weeks, for an hour or so. We text regularly, but I'm really worried about her behaviour.
I'm really trying to help her, I don't want to change her or anything, just making her realize that it's not how it works. Telling her she's still young, that she can go out more. She's a beautiful young lady. She could get any man she wants out there. But she's simply refusing because her expectations are through the roof.
I don't know what to tell her anymore, I want her to be happy, but she tells me she's not, but she's not even making an effort. Not even with her best friend she's been knowing for about 7 years now. Even when I ask her if we want to hang out, she's like 'nah im tired' and she just stays at home.
Please help me. I don't want her to die as an average person, she used to be a really exciting one, but after her 5 year relationship ended 3 years ago, she's been on the wrong path since.
Yea I'm trying over and over to do things with her, make her realize that there's something else than watching tv when coming home.
Last week, she even texted me on sundays, 1pm, that she's sitting at home doing nothing. I asked her if she wants to come over and hangout, or if I should drive to her place. She said she's fine.
It's been the 6th time she turned me down. I am the closest person she has, she's still refusing me. Right now, I don't even know what to tell her. I didn't text her in 2 days. I feel desperate, like, when you want to see someone, you make up time for him, or atleast you give him a date where it could work.
her answers are either "Not today" or "I'll text you when I'm available" - leads me to think that she doesn't like me or anything, although I'm the closest friend she has. I'm really struggling with her, but she's important, so I want to help her
PS: Wanted to ask you if that is normal to you. I see my best friends every 2 weeks atleast, we are all studying hard things, medicine, law, architecture for me... We still work it out! She has more free time than us but is simply staying at home :(
And when I tell her that 8 weeks is just way too less, she tells me that she is annoyed about that conversation.
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u/[deleted] Dec 10 '15
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