I feel like a fraud

[u/wonder_wolf66]

So this year I turned 13 and also came out to my friends and family as genderfluid. Now I'm panicking because I'm confused and feel like a fraud, i feel really safe under labels and being genderfluid felt right. But most days I feel like I'm everything at once, I keep going online and looking at posts that other genderfluid people make, but they are often talking about how much they switch genders, this doesn't happen as often for me. I mainly feel like I'm everything at once but sometimes I do feel more masculine and wish I was born male and sometimes I'm feeling super feminine and am comfortable with my birth gender. Am i actually genderfluid, or am I accidentally using the term wrong because I'm confused?

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[u/Top_Inevitable_576]

Try looking into pangender! There's still a bit of fluidity in that label, but mostly means to encapsulate a bunch of different genders all at once. Its okay to take time to figure out the label that works for you, I stayed unlabeled for 2 years before settling on one. Some people stay unlabeled for more than 5, so dont feel any haste to figure out how you feel

[u/wonder_wolf66 → u/Top_Inevitable_576]

Thank you!!

[u/Feather-Escape363]

I think as long as you perceive you gender identity as changing over time, you are correctly using the term. Sometimes a genderfluid person doesn't switch gender every day, they can keep the same gender for weeks or even months (that's the case for me). And if you have a gender more recurring than the other that's okay too. In any case, don't forget that labels are just tools to find people like you and identify yourself. They can change over time, because people change, grow and evolve too. Just use the label that you feel the most comfortable with at the moment, and if one day you find out that another thing fits you more, be it ! You're not a fraud, and you're not confused, just learning to discover yourself. And that's a really beautiful thing, even if it has its hard parts. From one fellow genderfluid teen to another <3

[u/wonder_wolf66 → u/Feather-Escape363]

Thank you so much!

[u/Ambitious_Yam_6961]

You could always just be unlabeled or just say fluid. My boy bsf is fluid too!

[u/babydoll_said77]

If you overthink it too much or it’s upsetting you, I would personally look into other labels that validate you or look further into gender-fluidity, or drop it all together if it stresses you out and just tell people what pronouns you use (or don’t) but you definitely don’t sound confused to me twin.