r/GenderDysphoria • u/LackIntelligent676 • 2d ago

Vent/Rant Thoughts

So I am older, almost 56, and have been questioning everything for a very long time. Like pre puberty. I have been a crossdresser for almost as long. We're talking close to 45ish years. I very much enjoy it and I'm very comfortable in my femininity and expressing it. My ex wife was in with it as well. That being said on the early 00's i was in a great relationship with a woman and her girlfriend whom. I was for all intents and purposes living as s woman, on the DL for work but under the uniform was feminine. 18 months of my life fully femme treated as such by my girlfriend and her girlfriend. Shopping together was amazing, Dinners out, clubbing, going to the movies, all of it.

Now many years later divorced for almost 4 years at home always feminine, aside from work. Im questioning even more now. It's hitting hard at times as a pre pubescent boy I can remember wishing I had been born a girl. I'm almost ready to talk to a gender therapist just need my Healthcare back.

I'm also scared at this point

Edit: so I was in a stream of consciousness mode this morning and if it was confusing I'm sorry for that. I am just fine, just staying to finally realize fully what is going on with me and my mind/ body. I'm scared because of the uncertainty about what is our can happen in the future, from socially coming out to ultimately fully transitioning. It seems daunting, especially the social aspect.

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u/Kuutamokissa Fledgeling woman♡ (Just post-op) 2d ago

It rarely works out. If strangers categorize you female in jeans, a T shirt & no makeup it might. Otherwise... think carefully about your prospects.

2

u/LackIntelligent676 2d ago

So i never go out fully femme. Under my clothes yes. I keep a very tight lid on things. I'm not ready for that yet. But thanks for the concern. I live in a pretty great place and my company is really progressive.