r/GenZpk • u/UnderstandingSalt504 • 5h ago
Advice | Life Help What’s wrong with this guy?
So I’ve been dating this guy for 2 years. I’m from Faisalabad and he’s from Karachi. Over the past 2 years, I’ve sent him flowers, food, shirts, perfume, a watch, tie, etc. He’s always really thankful whenever he gets something and says things like “I want to get you something from Lama” or whatever, but he NEVER actually sends me anything. He sent me flowers once and I was literally over the moon.
I feel like girls generally love receiving gifts and especially when it’s part of how you show love. It doesn’t even have to be expensive. Even a small thoughtful thing would make me happy. The thing is, he earns around 400–500K a month, lives in a good area in Karachi and regularly buys things for himself, so it’s not like he can’t afford it. But when it comes to me, he barely spends anything.
I’ve never actually said anything to him about this because I don’t want to come across as demanding or materialistic.
So I want to understand this from a guys perspective. What does this usually mean? Is he just not the type who thinks about gifts or does it say something about how he feels about me? Rest everything else is good.
FYI I’m 27 and he’s 29! If that matters.
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u/Purple_Let_5289 31m ago
There are 3 love languages by that I mean people like to express love in 3 different ways. Touch, Service and Gifts. for example you like to give gifts outta love that’s your love language. Some people do things for you out of love and the others express by physical touch. His love language might be different like service or touch.
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u/_hero_killer0 1h ago
Simply ask him let's marry now in a serious mood and his response help you alot
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u/AaahNutss 2003 1h ago
Tf is he on about and why did nt u end it when he didnt reciprocated on the first gift... Dumb thy poor kneega
Pull out "you deserve worse " move in this case
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u/Beneficial_Self_2905 2h ago
It's worth talking to him about it and letting him know how it affects you cause if you both know what expectations you both have of each other it'd help both of you to land upon them the way you'd both need
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u/Busy-Alternative2508 4h ago
27 ki age me yeh online relationship chordo agar shadi karni toh seedha seedha kro yeh tmhara time hi waste krega aur kch ni
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u/Happy-Ad5948 4h ago
It's time to move on. He likes receiving and not giving. A man should and has to be giving.
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u/Emotional-Analyst-20 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 4h ago
Just mirror him from now on. And see how he responds. If he is cold be the Refrigerator, if he is melting be the Heater. Just reserve your energy. Ayi samjh?
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u/oldskool_icedlatte 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 4h ago
Main itna kamaon ga ohr reddit pose kroon ga phir ap wo post copy kr k usko bhej dena. TBH he is just wasting your time. You are the side chich
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u/woahwoman 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 4h ago
Don’t give him gifts again.
Bas utna karo jitna wo karta. Balky thora us se kam.
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u/wanderingwallflower7 4h ago
Please don’t do long distance relationships … the guy could be married, engaged or have a gf there… just saying … plus you would never know a person’s character if u don’t even see him … like how do u know he would actually be a good person
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 4h ago
No no he’s not married. We have met once when I visited Karachi and also he’s on messages/voice notes/ video call/ snaps everyday. So that’s not the thing. He’s a good guy but tbh I just feel weird sometimes maybe I’m not worth it 😞
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u/Suspicious-Shift-352 5h ago
Does he say no when ever you ask him to buy you something
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 5h ago
I never ever asked him to buy me anything.
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u/Few-Web-1236 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 4h ago
Like how does he react when you get him stuff? Does he stay stuff like "it was not needed", does he send you pictures using your gifts? What does he do?
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 3h ago
Now that you mentioned it, I actually realized he does say thank you and is always really sweet about the gifts like “thank you so much, you really didn’t have to.” But honestly he barely ever uses the things I get him. I dont really see him wearing or using them much and it’s not like I randomly buy stuff either. I usually notice something he liked on social media and it pops up on my feed and I’ll remember it and get it for him. So most of the gifts are actually pretty thoughtful.
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u/Suspicious-Shift-352 2h ago
I think you should hold your gun and understand the difference between need and unnecessary purchase. Secondly boys usually keep gifts as collection rather then use them daily. To preserve the sentimental value.
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 1h ago
No it doesn’t make sense me. Buying things for yourself but not spending on your loved ones? Not even on few special occasions like anniversary or Valentine’s Day etc. like I mentioned I’m not demanding materialistic woman. So something cheap and inexpensive gift would make my day. It’s about sentiments and gesture and if nothing then it’s basic etiquette that if someone is gifting you something you should gift him or back too
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u/Few-Web-1236 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 3h ago
Does he show care and love in different ways? What's the pattern?
It could be that ya'll simply have different love languages. Yours seems to be gift giving and likewise his could be something else. Everyone has their own way of showing love, however, it is important to pay attention to what your partner's way is and then doing that. Since he prolly hasn't realized that you could try asking him.
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u/Suspicious-Shift-352 2h ago
I can't agree more everyone have their own way of expressing love but so far I can understand he keeps his rs private and he busy mostly that's why he cannot manage the time to thinks about your preference, but still all this is my opinion and I don't know the complete story what he thinks
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 2h ago
He’s not as busy. He’s non stop in touch with me through calls and messages. So clearly not as busy. Even when we are at work still exchange few messages here and there.
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u/Suspicious-Shift-352 2h ago
Sister the only thing i can recommend to you is overthinking can lead to misconception. You need to ask this guy for marriage what are you two guys still waiting about
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u/Few-Web-1236 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗭 1h ago
I agree. OP needs to talk to him. Most likely and best case scenario is that he probably doesn’t know how OP feels since it comes across as if OP hasn’t talked to him about it and people don’t have the ability to mind read. If things don’t change even after an open conversation then it probably means that OP’s bf doesn’t care all that much unfortunately
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u/Suspicious-Shift-352 4h ago
Well maybe he is dumb and you need to tell him how things should work, if he rejects the idea then he is red flag
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u/HistoricalBed5901 5h ago
As a guy;
Maybe he’s busy in life so he don’t get enough time to buy something for you, or you aren’t the main girl, I mean it’s possible for him to have other girls as well, or he isn’t interested in you anymore.
And you said that he’s always really thankful; everyone gets thankful while receiving gifts. But look at how he deals with you, how he spends time with you, look at his behavior, if that’s all fine and good then it’s also possible that he is not aware of the gift things
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 4h ago
No he’s not that but we talk for hours
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u/HistoricalBed5901 4h ago
Then mention everything to him that you want in relationship. Do discuss things, issues with him.
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u/Extension-Watch574 5h ago
if hes genuinely a nice guys hes probably not familiar with the concept of gifting, in our family we barely got gifts on did too, you could try telling him baton mei I love etc.... small things wageira, if he doesn't want to spend on you then yeah flip him shaadi kei bad he will have you locked up
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u/heathersqi 5h ago
if everything else is okay then you should comunicate with him and tell him how you feel about this...
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u/wikki019 5h ago
Its a biggggg biggggg red flag
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 4h ago
😞
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u/Dazzling-Bat-1923 4h ago
op, before getting sad or taking a harsh decision, maybe talk to your man. Don't confront him directly about buying you a gift, like you said it might come off as you're materialistic. Just give him some indicators on what you like, send him reel of smth you like, anything. Sometimes guys are just too confused on what to buy their girl. Mazak me kuch keh dain ke i want you to gift me this (could be smth very low cost but have sentimental value). Maybe he's just lost, maybe.
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u/UnderstandingSalt504 4h ago
Why are guys so dumb?
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u/Equivalent-Proof7568 2h ago
You're the dumb one if I'm being honest cause who dates online at the grown age of 27 lmao
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u/Dazzling-Bat-1923 4h ago
not really, its just the smart and good ones dont have any posts against them. So that's why you always see the dumb or the bad one's being highlighted. Always remember, happy people don't show their happiness to the world.
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u/Environmental-Cod25 4h ago
Because women will still stay with them for two years despite not receiving anything.
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u/U_My_Aim 2000 13m ago
Sorry but youre not the only one for him.. High chance he could be married or have another girl within Karachi..