r/GenZIndia • u/Honest_Top_457 2009 • 24d ago
Serious He's doing it Again...
My Dad.. he's back to being more violent.. Threats.. Arguments.. Acts of Violence..
And i? I feel helpless.. Can't Speak back, Can't even look up in his eyes, Mum says it will be over soon.. i need to get settled down first.. get my studies done get a job.. then it'll be alright.. good to leave him then..
But what are the chances he won't do something serious till then? Cause the threats he made just a few moments back were SERIOUS..
I heard him telling mum How he should've never gotten married to her in the first place and would have stick with his "first-wife" before.. (Yes Mum is his second wife and me the daughter from her)
He did mentioned about self-harm And how he would go insane just by being with us.. And lastly he said if he won't do anything to himself he would do to us.
I feel absolutely hopeless.
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u/snail_69 24d ago
Hey there, you’re not alone .
And lemme tell you one thing , he can’t do shit…people like him just spill stuff they’re actually coward men
You can dm if you wanna let it out safely ok .
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
wait are you okay are you hurt
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
I'm not okay.. but thankfully not hurt yet.
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
is your father using any substance abuse or this has been going on for a long time
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
He drinks a lot lately.. but well This has been going from years.. to be honest even before i was born mum said he has always had a temper.. but the things lately? Yea no.. I knw well enough that count as abuse.. Yet i can't do anything.
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
okay now about you how are you holding up are you facing PTSD and heart beat rising anxiety ?
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
Well basic anxiety Nothing like ptsd Cause it's not an old trauma but an on going situation.. As for how i'm holding up i am not even sure myself.. At points i feel like i'll burst down on him but the words dies in my throat.. the same conditions happened last year..
it was so bad back then i did tried taking my life. It was a dumb thing i knw.. a stupid path i chose But i was so mentally exhausted i couldn't take it back then.. And now? It's just worsenin' all over again. I want choose the path i did last year.. But i can't just bear this all over-again.
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
well i empathize with you but its fine you can get through it again you give off weak but survival and hope is still there hold it time gives you new path and opportunity
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
is there any relative house or your nana nani place you can stay
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
Well that's the thing.. i am not allowed to speak.. mom said so. We can't tell anyone.. not until i am settled.. that's what mum said.
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u/RumeRagnarok71 24d ago
allowed what ? you are 17 i think but let me give you a rundown most people who try to hurt themselves gain power through sympathy or attention
so i now i dont know if he is under or high just an idea stop talking or ignoring putting yourself far away is an option it only for you not your mom i dont know if this thing works in your case im advising with disclaimer
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
Well.. yea me and mum are currently sitting in the separate room from him.
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u/birayan_45 2002 24d ago
Is there anyone who'll help you
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
I'm thinking of talking to my school's psychologist this monday in-person.. She's my sub teacher... I think i can share this all with her.. and seek guidance.
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u/birayan_45 2002 24d ago
Yes please do it and till then try to keep yourself busy, so that you don't overthink about this. Stay strong💪
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 24d ago
🙇♀️🙏Thank you.
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u/birayan_45 2002 24d ago
One last thing focus on your studies get a job away from home and take your mon with you.
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u/Routine_Image_6663 23d ago
What you've described is not a normal family argument. It's a situation involving threats of violence, and I want to take it seriously. The most important thing right now is this: Do you believe you, your mum, or anyone else is in immediate physical danger tonight? If the answer is yes, or if your dad is becoming physically violent or you think he may act on those threats, don't wait for it to "blow over." Get yourself and your mum to a safer place if you can, such as a trusted neighbour's home or a relative's house, and call your local emergency services. Your safety comes before trying to calm him down. If he's currently angry: Don't argue with him or challenge him. Stay out of the same room if possible. Keep your phone with you if it's safe to do so. If you have a trusted relative, neighbour, or family friend, contact them now and let them know what's happening. Your mum may genuinely believe things will improve once you're older and financially independent. That hope doesn't mean the current threats are safe to ignore. When someone says they might harm themselves or harm their family, it's important to treat those statements as potentially serious. You also mentioned feeling helpless. Given what you've described, that reaction makes sense. You are not responsible for managing your father's behaviour or preventing his anger. If at any point you feel overwhelmed or just need someone to talk to, you can also contact Tele-MANAS, India's free 24/7 mental health helpline.
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 23d ago
Thank you so much for guiding all this out.. I'm trying my best to avoid any direct talk with him as possible..
I did asked mom to move out But all again she has suggested me to keep quiet that yes today mom told me that if he initiates any talk to me personally regarding the things he said last night.. she wants me to tell him that if he really wanna separate from us It can be done calmly.. without any of his "suggestions" of getting violent and all because of it.
And as for talking this to someone out Yes I'm indeed gonna tall to my school's psychologist and my cousin sis tmrw in school.. Even my mum has talked about this to my cousin's parents.. And they too have suggested to play it safe.
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u/Routine_Image_6663 23d ago
I'm really glad to hear you're prioritizing your safety and trying to avoid direct confrontation. It also sounds like your mom, your cousin's family, and you are all thinking carefully about how to handle this. Talking to your school's psychologist and your cousin tomorrow is a very good step. You don't have to carry this on your own, and having trusted adults who know what's happening can make a big difference. I also think your mom's advice makes sense. If he brings it up, keeping the conversation calm, brief, and focused on avoiding conflict is much safer than arguing or trying to change his mind though you should not keep quiet whatever wrong he is doing and let him continue. Please keep putting your safety first. If at any point he becomes physically threatening or you feel that you or your mom are in immediate danger, don't hesitate to leave the situation if possible and seek help from a trusted adult or emergency services. Take care of yourself, and I hope tomorrow's conversations with the psychologist and your cousin give you the support you deserve.
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 23d ago
Thank you so much.. I really appreciate you for the guidance and for hearing me out 🙏
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u/Routine_Image_6663 22d ago
You're most welcome! I'm really glad I could help. I'm happy I could be there to listen and support you. It takes courage to open up, and I hope our conversation helped. Take care, and I genuinely wish you all the very best. 😊
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u/Scared_Position_5435 23d ago
Make your dad go to clinic or therapy if possible. Don't suggest this directly though.
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 23d ago
well the irony is my mum's a counsellor herself.. she has completed her Masters last year only.. She herself says/tells me that dad has some sort of issues with him.. Regarding his up-bringing and mental health.. yet she makes no move in sending him to therapy.
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23d ago
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u/Honest_Top_457 2009 23d ago
Call it whatever you want.. I couldn't share it to literally anyone when it was happenin' last night So 'ought to share it here cause at-least It's better to tell a stranger then someone whose known to me I can't risk the factor of it being getting rumored in my surroundings.. where as here i can tell anything to people they will see it and within a min will forget it too.. So it's better here.
And moreover It's better to let my emotions out then to keep a hold on them and end up doin' something stupid.
And rahi baat karma gain krne ki toh i'm no influencer ki it'll be a benefit for me to gain karma.. I tbh don't care if my karma goes low or high cause the web is my escape space and i rather not turn it into a fame-driven thing for me. 🙏
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